Post # 1
So this past Saturday I had a Bridal show to go to- this being the very first step in my wedding planning I was over the moon exicited! So 2 weeks in advance I had booked the day off work and made plans for myself and my Maid/Matron of Honor to go to the show!
The morning of the show I text her asking if she would be ready by noon, she said yes and also told me she couldn’t wait! At 12pm I knock on her door- no answer, knock again- she answers and looks horrible (as if she just woke up). I ask her if she is ready and feeling good to go- she responds YES. So we stop by the bank, grab some coffees and off we go.
My Fiance dropped us off and not even 30 seconds out of the car my Maid/Matron of Honor starts to vomit everywhere. I am shocked thinking she has falling terriblely ill, but no she was just expericing the worst hangover of 2011…
Eventaully she tells me she is fine and we go in, pay the cover, and start to visit booths, within seconds she wants to find the bathrooms, we go there and I put my coffee on the counter to check my hair- she vomits all over my unopened coffee and the floor… continues to tell me she is fine and this is nothing…
Thirty minutes later we are sitting front row waiting for the fashion show to start… she leaves and is gone for 20 minutes. A security gaurd comes and finds me 2 minutes before the fashion show starts and tells me that my Maid/Matron of Honor is outside making a scene, puking everywhere, claiming she feels like death.
I go with the securtiy gaurd carrying two door prizes (about 10 pounds each!!) her purse and my purse and also a reuseable bag full of freebies… I find her outside and had to call my Fiance to come pick us up only after 45 minutes.
Once home she stated she was so sorry for ruining my day… claimed she would make it up to me… and sent numerous text hoping I can forgive her… I have yet to talk to her unsure of what to say…
Did I mention that she is not only my best friend but also my brother’s long term girlfriend and I am also her boss at a part-time job set to start this week… and were not speaking…yes… FML. Any advice?!?!
Post # 3
Oh, my god. How irresponsible!! Advice? I probably would take this as a sign she won’t make the best maid of honor…
Post # 4
OMG I’ll be so pissed, but I do think you need to talk to her, try not to be mad when you do it, tell her how irresponsible and rude that was (even when she knows already). Talk to her about your concerns with her as your Maid/Matron of Honor and employee. I don’t know her or your relationship with her but if she was my Boyfriend or Best Friend I’ll def give her another chance, but just a second one.
Post # 5
Um I actually have no idea what to say. I want to kinda symathize with her, especially since shes apologized over and over, but considering that shes your brother’s gf and an employee I can’t really get over that part.
I really hope this is just a one-time deal for you, and she honestly steps up.
Post # 6
. Any advice
calm down??? even though it was self induced she must have been very sick and she has apologize a number of times. VERY disappointing for you i know but sometimes friends do stupid things
Post # 7
@eloping: I agree.
I really don’t see this as that huge of a deal. She went out and had too many drinks on a night she probably shouldn’t have… what 20something girl hasn’t done that once or twice a dozen times?? I don’t see this as grounds for judging her as some horrible Maid/Matron of Honor. She felt like shit and tried as hard as she could to pull it together to be there for you. She made a mistake and apologized for it. What else do you really expect?
Post # 8
Are you sure it was a hangover? Seems like it may have been a bit more than that, seeing that she was throwing up for such an extended period of time. I’m an RN and generally once the body voids the “irritant” the sickness subsides. It may have been partially alcohol induced on top of something else, like a virus, or stomach flu etc. She really couldn’t help being sick either way, and it seems as though she was willing to forgo her own comfort to be there for you. I’d give her a break. Sometimes as brides we tend to take things a bit more seriously than we should perhaps. After all, she didn’t show up hung over at your wedding. :/ Just my 2 cents.
Post # 9
@Tuesdayschild: Also a very good point. Honestly? If it were my friend, the last thing I’d be concerned about in that scenario was how well she was holding up her Maid/Matron of Honor duties. I’d be starting to worry she might be seriously ill and try to get her home/see about getting her some medical attention if needed.
Post # 10
Wow, I cant believe you are mad at your Maid/Matron of Honor. You have no reason to be!! She was obviously unwell and yet she still tried her very best to help you plan your wedding and come to the show with you when she should have been in bed!!
I think you have a good friend and you needed to be a good friend to her and weren’t!! Your friend was so unwell and you were being selfish only thinking of the bridal show, there are more important things in life than a bridal show, there are several each year.
As the saying goes, You may love someone but not always love the things they do. Forgive your friend and give her a call. I’m sure she was very embrassed and feels terrible for throwing up everywhere.
This is a very special time in your life so dont let these things bother you and its not worth losing a friend.
Post # 11
I agree with other posters that she genuinely *tried* to be there for you, but alas, didn’t expect for her body not to cooperate. I understand why you are feeling bummed and disappointed; you were excited to kick off the wedding planning. It’s a magical time for you. BUT at least this girl didn’t hijack your day and make it all about her. I think her actions in apology and genuine remorse indicate that she will be supportive of you and try to help the best she can in the future. She did make a mistake by drinking the night before, but I agree she sounded sick in addition to the unfortunate drink induced vomiting. Call her, and ask how she’s doing.
As for you being her boss at a part-time position, that’s irrelevant. She has not given you trouble on the job, and you will need to handle that on an as-it-happens basis, not a “This is what I’ve seen, and I don’t want it coming to work” lecture. Otherwise, you could stand to create resentment in your friendship. Her personal life is just that: personal. Unless or until it interfers with her work, do not discuss it with her in a working context.
Good luck with your planning, and enjoy it all! Weddings are so much fun to coordinate.
Post # 12
I totally agree. Seems a bit selfish to be this upset over a BRIDAL FAIR. it’s like being upset because she was too sick to go to the mall but went anyway to help you shop for shoes.
Post # 13
You have no reason to be
well the Maid/Matron of Honor did practically vomit on her. i get that OP is very very disappointed that something she was really looking forward to didnt happen – her title does say venting
Post # 14
I’m sorry that you were put into that situation..it’s very unfortunate, but she made a mistake. You two are friends so I say accept her apology and move on.
Post # 15
You are being totally unreasonable. She had too much to drink, fine. She apologized, fine. People make mistakes!! She was obviously very ill and the fact that you are still angry when you should have been concerned about her health is pathetic, IMO.
Post # 16
Yes, her title did say venting, but she also followed that up with the last two words “any advice”. I don’t think anyone here is trying to be mean or unduly rude, just trying to help her see that she may be over reacting a bit and that her friendship is more important than a ruined half day.