(Closed) Maid of Horror!…venting!

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Oh, my god. How irresponsible!! Advice? I probably would take this as a sign she won’t make the best maid of honor…

Post # 4
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

OMG I’ll be so pissed, but I do think you need to talk to her, try not to be mad when you do it, tell her how irresponsible and rude that was (even when she knows already). Talk to her about your concerns with her  as your Maid/Matron of Honor and employee. I don’t know her or your relationship with her but if she was my Boyfriend or Best Friend I’ll def give her another chance, but just a second one.

Post # 5
Member
2263 posts
Buzzing bee

Um I actually have no idea what to say. I want to kinda symathize with her, especially since shes apologized over and over, but considering that shes your brother’s gf and an employee I can’t really get over that part. 

I really hope this is just a one-time deal for you, and she honestly steps up.

Post # 6
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

. Any advice

calm down???    even though it was self induced she must have been very sick and she has apologize a number of times.   VERY disappointing for you i know but sometimes friends do stupid things

Post # 7
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@eloping: I agree.

I really don’t see this as that huge of a deal. She went out and had too many drinks on a night she probably shouldn’t have… what 20something girl hasn’t done that once or twice a dozen times?? I don’t see this as grounds for judging her as some horrible Maid/Matron of Honor. She felt like shit and tried as hard as she could to pull it together to be there for you. She made a mistake and apologized for it. What else do you really expect?

Post # 8
Member
99 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@valeenh:

Are you sure it was a hangover? Seems like it may have been a bit more than that, seeing that she was throwing up for such an extended period of time. I’m an RN and generally once the body voids the “irritant” the sickness subsides. It may have been partially alcohol induced on top of something else, like a virus, or stomach flu etc. She really couldn’t help being sick either way, and it seems as though she was willing to forgo her own comfort to be there for you. I’d give her a break. Sometimes as brides we tend to take things a bit more seriously than we should perhaps. After all, she didn’t show up hung over at your wedding. :/ Just my 2 cents.

Post # 9
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Tuesdayschild: Also a very good point. Honestly? If it were my friend, the last thing I’d be concerned about in that scenario was how well she was holding up her Maid/Matron of Honor duties. I’d be starting to worry she might be seriously ill and try to get her home/see about getting her some medical attention if needed.

Post # 10
Member
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Wow, I cant believe you are mad at your Maid/Matron of Honor. You have no reason to be!! She was obviously unwell and yet she still tried her very best to help you plan your wedding and come to the show with you when she should have been in bed!!

I think you have a good friend and you needed to be a good friend to her and weren’t!! Your friend was so unwell and you were being selfish only thinking of the bridal show, there are more important things in life than a bridal show, there are several each year.

As the saying goes, You may love someone but not always love the things they do. Forgive your friend and give her a call. I’m sure she was very embrassed and feels terrible for throwing up everywhere.

This is a very special time in your life so dont let these things bother you and its not worth losing a friend.

Post # 11
Member
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

I agree with other posters that she genuinely *tried* to be there for you, but alas, didn’t expect for her body not to cooperate. I understand why you are feeling bummed and disappointed; you were excited to kick off the wedding planning. It’s a magical time for you. BUT at least this girl didn’t hijack your day and make it all about her. I think her actions in apology and genuine remorse indicate that she will be supportive of you and try to help the best she can in the future. She did make a mistake by drinking the night before, but I agree she sounded sick in addition to the unfortunate drink induced vomiting. Call her, and ask how she’s doing.

As for you being her boss at a part-time position, that’s irrelevant. She has not given you trouble on the job, and you will need to handle that on an as-it-happens basis, not a “This is what I’ve seen, and I don’t want it coming to work” lecture. Otherwise, you could stand to create resentment in your friendship. Her personal life is just that: personal. Unless or until it interfers with her work, do not discuss it with her in a working context.

Good luck with your planning, and enjoy it all! Weddings are so much fun to coordinate.

Post # 12
Member
99 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@littlemissmango:

@bridetobe7844:

I totally agree. Seems a bit selfish to be this upset over a BRIDAL FAIR. it’s like being upset because she was too sick to go to the mall but went anyway to help you shop for shoes.

Post # 13
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

You have no reason to be

well the Maid/Matron of Honor did practically vomit on her.  i get that OP is very very disappointed that something she was really looking forward to didnt happen – her title does say venting

Post # 14
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m sorry that you were put into that situation..it’s very unfortunate, but she made a mistake. You two are friends so I say accept her apology and move on. 

Post # 15
Member
1508 posts
Bumble bee

You are being totally unreasonable. She had too much to drink, fine. She apologized, fine. People make mistakes!! She was obviously very ill and the fact that you are still angry when you should have been concerned about her health is pathetic, IMO.

Post # 16
Member
99 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@eloping:

Yes, her title did say venting, but she also followed that up with the last two words “any advice”. I don’t think anyone here is trying to be mean or unduly rude, just trying to help her see that she may be over reacting a bit and that her friendship is more important than a ruined half day.

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