Post # 1
We are not having a formal wedding and aren’t paying too much attention to “proper etiquette” so we decided to have a BBQ wedding shower for all guests that will be invited to the wedding. We are throwing it ourselves and it will be at our house.
We want to stay with our eco-friendly theme and use as little paper/ink/etc as possible. Our wedding is November 10 of this year and we are planning to send out our invitations next week … my question is would it be too confusing if we included the shower invitation in with the wedding invitation? There would not be an rsvp card so it would just be the invitation, I was thinking directly behind the wedding invitation (same size possibly).
It would definitely reduce the materials needed and we wouldn’t have to worry about quickly sending both batches of invitations right after one another, since the date of the shower is only a few weeks away.
What do you think?!
Post # 3
If every guest is invited to both I don’t see why you have to waste a bunch of stamps mailing them separately.
Post # 5
I say go for it! Especially since all your guests are invited to both.
Post # 6
Me personally would like them separate as most people (in my experience) don’t read. But if that is what you want to do, I don’t see a problem with it! I sent mine separately. More people RSVPed to the wedding versus the shower.
Post # 7
I say you can do what you want! I included a wedding website on my “RSVP” card that had RSVP options with additional information about the wedding. Maybe you could do something like that?
Post # 8
You should not be inviting anyone to a shower. It is very impolite to host your own shower. You are hosting yourself a party to which guests must bring a gift. A shower is the only party that has mandatory gift giving requirements.
A shower must be thrown by someone other then yourself, so you should not mail them together.
Post # 9
If you are hosting a BBQ, I would not call it a shower. A shower implies that you are throwing yourself a party to get gifts. Someone else should throw your shower. But if you change the name of the BBQ to just that, a BBQ, not a shower, I don’t see anything wrong with including it with your invitation.
Post # 11
I think it’s unusual to hold a shower that all of your guests are invited to, but okay, let’s set that aside – hosting issue set aside too.
I would send them separately because I think the shower invite will get lost the wedding invite and you’ll have lower turnout than you hope for.
With something casual and an “eco-friendly” theme where you’re okay with not necessarily doing proper etiquette, I’d mail the wedding invite and do an evite for the shower. I think that would drive the best attendance and understanding of the two events.
It sounds like you may already have shower invites printed though.
Post # 12
Thanks for all the feedback! Yeah we are throwing it ourselves for many reasons, and would like to call it more of a BBQ. Nobody from either family will be offended or think that we are being gift greedy or anything.
I know that it’s not “normal”, and I’m not afraid for guests to think it’s weird, but I just couldn’t decide if it would be too much at once or too confusing. Honestly with the lack of time and being on a budget, I think it’s the best option we have.
Again, thanks 🙂