Post # 1
I know this really isn’t a big deal, but I find it strange. Maybe it’s pregnancy hormones that make it seem stranger to me than it actually is.
I announced my pregnancy at work a couple weeks ago. Pretty much everyone in the office has said something to me about it, except for our department’s senior director, I’ll call her “Susan”. (Susan isn’t my direct boss, she’s actually my boss’s boss.)
A little backstory, Susan got this position about 4 months (she’s been at the company for about a year and a half in a different position) after some underhanded scheming by some of the higher-ups to get rid of the previous person in that position, I’ll call the previous person “Jane”. Jane was with the company almost 20 years, did her job well, everyone liked her. But then a new person was hired to be her boss, and he had it out for her so he could bring his friend (Susan) into the company in her position. Drama and scheming happening, long story short, Jane was forced to “retire”. Susan has a steep hill to climb winning the hearts of her subordinates because most of them feel like Jane was horribly wronged in this whole thing.
Many people I work with are still in contact with Jane. When Jane found I was pregnant, she even called me to congratulate me!
But not a word from Susan. Not “congrats”, not “how are you feeling”, not “I heard you’re pregnant” nothing! It just seems so out of place in the culture where I work she wouldn’t say anything. (I work at a children’s hospital. People here tend to be very family-focused. And my department is quite small, Susan is only over less than 20 people, we tend to be a tight-knit group.)
It’s just weird to me.
Post # 3
Honestly? Not cool but not everyone is a congratulatory type person. Or maybe she hasn’t felt there has been an opportunity yet to congratulate you. Or maybe she herself has some negative history with having kids and stepping up to congratulate someone is hard for her. Or maybe, she’s picked up on the vibe that you’re not her biggest fan.
It sounds like you don’t really like her anyway, I wouldn’t let it bother you. Just focus on yourself 🙂
Post # 4
Side-note: There’s an open manager position that I and another person in my department applied for. We both interviewed, but it’s currently on-hold for reevaluation for budget reasons though. “Susan” should have no say in this position, it’s my boss’s position to fill. Susan did have my boss interview one of her friends, “Betty”, who wasn’t even remoately qualified. (It’s a programming position, Betty has zero programming knowledge. Betty even told Susan that, but Susan insisted Betty come in for an interview anyway. Betty told my boss all this during the interview, Betty knew she wasn’t qualified but came in to me Susan happy.) After the interview, my boss told Susan that Betty wasn’t qualified. Susan knows that I and another person in my department applied for the job as well, so it makes it even more akward. Like because there’s this open position, Susan doesn’t want to speak to me.
Post # 5
Did you tell her specifically? Maybe she is sour about the fact that she is your superior’s superior that you did not tell her one on one?
Post # 6
While it’s a little weird, I wouldn’t sweat it. She sounds like someone who prioritizes her own circle of people and doesn’t care much about anyone else. I consider myself close to my boss, but aside from my offical notice, we haven’t talked about the pregnancy all that much, and really only as it pertains to business related stuff.
One thought is that if you’re actively being considered for a promotion, maybe she’s trying to ‘ignore’ your pregnancy for now, so that you couldn’t claim discrimination if you don’t get the job? (but it sounds like there’s a lot of favoritism already at play, so who knows)
The other factor, is that women can have a lot of reasons for not getting excited about another woman’s pregnancy, that are rooted in their own life experiences rather than you.
Post # 7
I guess it depends on ya’lls relationship. It doesn’t sound like you two have any kind of relationship at all so maybe that’s why she hasn’t said anything. From the way it sounds like she got her job she probably feels like no one likes her anyways so she might just be keeping to herself.
Post # 8
I 100% agree with @MerryC:. You really don’t know how your pregnancy will affect anyone else – it could be very painful for her to face pregnant women and just can’t handle congratulationing you. It sucks, but it’s probably not about you.
Post # 9
@abbyful: I understand what you’re going through. Everyone in my office has either congratulated me or acknowledged my pregnancy except for my boss’s boss. There are about 25 people in my office. I don’t expect someone to fawn over the fact that I’m pregnant but acknowledgement would be nice, especially when my office is RIGHT next door to hers!
Sorry that you’re having to deal with this!