(Closed) MAJOR Advice from the Bees

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1691 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Omg I don’t know what to tell you…besides the fact that you’re amazing for being such a good mom to your ‘adopted’ son because really, isn’t that what he is? No matter what you do about the dinner, feel great about what an amazing mom you are, because you are. Him growing into such a great young man is most likely because of you and your love and support. You should be proud 🙂

Post # 4
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

You don’t bow out. If you really consider him your son, you’ll be there for him, even when it is awkward or uncomfortable. He’s already got one person who doesn’t want to be there (stepdad), why make him feel like a mother figure who means so much to him doesn’t want to be there too?

I’m unclear – won’t you be meeting them at the wedding if you don’t meet them at the rehearsal dinner?

Post # 5
Member
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

This is a tricky situation because although you have been there for him and feel he is your son, he does have a mom. And him wanting to involve her is a call him and your daughter need to make together.

Don’t say anything about her hosting the rehearsal, maybe offer to get together before then. And if things don’t work out with the mom and the rehersal be there to listen to them vent if they need to:)

Post # 6
Member
1086 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Well is it completely out of the question for you and the couple to throw the rehearsal dinner yourselves? Perhaps if you do that and just send them the invitation it will make things easier knowing they are GUESTS and not hosts of the night. Which gives you the upper hand. And should at least make them a little respectful the night of. That way he has his mother there, and there shouldn’t be a huge scene. If his step father is a creep like many in those families are, if they throw it you can almost count on them making rude inapproprate comments throughout the night, but perhaps if they are just guests their tongues will be kept in their mouths, and if not you have the right to have them/him removed from the dinner

Post # 7
Member
3720 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I would call up his mom, introduce yourself, and invite her over for coffee. Then suck it up and go. It isn’t going to be comfortable, but this woman will be in your life for a long time (think grandkids’events). It is best to get it over with now.

Post # 9
Member
1691 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@Jer72:  Youre welcome, it’s true.

Post # 10
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Jer72:  “would it be so awful if my husband and I paid for our own dinners if we attend? If I have to thank him I may throw up.”

Yes, it would be creating drama where there is no need to add any on. If you really feel strongly about not accepting a meal from this couple, then just tack that extra onto the newlyweds’ gift or something so you feel even in your mind.

You don’t have to thank him. You can say something like, “Lovely restaurant for the rehearsal” or “We’re so excited for John and Jane!”

Post # 11
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Jer72:  

can you maybe contact her & offer to split hosting? Say you’d already budgeted to help & you’d be happy to take some of the stress off her.

The topic ‘MAJOR Advice from the Bees’ is closed to new replies.

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