(Closed) Major Birth Control Fail. Feeling awful & like a failure (long)

posted 6 years ago in Wellness
Post # 3
3697 posts
Sugar bee

It might be worth giving charting a second look. It’s really not all that confusing once you start doing it. It also sounds like your guy is really committed to helping you out (YAY! Congrats on having such a sweetheart husband!) – and the nice thing about FAM (fertility awareness method, i.e. “charting”) is that he can be involved.

If nothing else, at least get ahold of a copy of “Taking Charge of Your Fertility” and take a look. Try to have an open mind – it sounds like it could be a really good option for you under these circumstances, if you are willing to give it a try.

Post # 4
1849 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Would you consider a vasectomy or tubal ligation?? I myself am half of a childless-by-choice couple, and that would be my immediate choice (except I love not having periods on my Depo, so I stick with it). Have you tried the copper IUD or the hormonal one? Don’t despair, you have options. You should also seek second opinions from other docs. Your reaction sounds too severe to be comparable to run-of-the-mill BC intolerance. You shouldn’t give up, it will be ok :). 

ETA: just realized that I missed where you said that you’re simply too young for surgery. A couple years is doable on the grand scale of spending your lives together! I believe you can make it :). I would keep trying to find a more reasonable doc who might hear you out and look beyond your age to consider the surgery. 

Post # 5
1310 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I second the suggestion on giving Natural Family Planning a second look. It’s a pain in the ass but less of a pain in the ass than a sexless marriage and/or feeling like your side is about to split in two.

Or could you just switch to a non-penetrative sex life for the next two years until you’re old enough for surgery? You know… doing other stuff.

Post # 6
4047 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

There are apps you can get on your phone or other device that can help with charting. I do not chart as a part of family planning, but I do to keep track of my period and symptoms. I can definitely see that being handy and helpful with family planning!

Have you tried the copper IUD? It has no hormones, so that is definitely an option I would try. You may have heavier period with it, and some cramping initially because of the insertion. But after that it seems to be smooth sailing for most people since it uses no hormones.

Post # 7
3697 posts
Sugar bee

You could also look into the Marquette method – you use a fertility monitor and testing strips to determine when you are ovulating.

Post # 8
5886 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Wow, Just wow and I’m sorry. But with a latex allergy you shouldn;t have use the Ring. 

It’s difficult, but you might be able to find a doc to give your Darling Husband a vasectomy. There was a bee on here awile ago that told us she had to look and look, but she found a doc to steralize her. I’d be too afraid I’d change my mind. (at least a guy can store some sperm just in case) But if you know… 

If you want to try charting, but it’s kinda a hassle. You might want to try DuoFertility. It not created for prevention (its a fertility monitor to help you get pregnant), but you try and use it monitor temp to help prevent. Take a look…http://www.duofertility.com/ 

Post # 9
3667 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I’m so sorry πŸ™

Just trying to think of some things you didn’t list – birth control patch/shot/sponge, diaphragm/cervical cap, spermicide, withdrawl? (Although personally, I only feel comfortable combining withdrawl with another method.)

Post # 10
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

 I would like to second the charting thing. It’s really not that bad at all, especially if you get one of the softwares out there that do it for you. You just have to input your morning temperature and keep an eye on how dry you are down there and it does all the rest for you.

It also sounds like it might be your only other option. Have the doctors figured out why exactly you are having these reactions to the birth control? I’m shocked that you had such a severe reaction so quickly and it also subsided so quickly, I’m really sorry.

I can’t take hormonal birth control because I get severe emotional side effects, so I live by the charting method. I purchased the “Taking Charge of Your Fertility” and purchased the software that came with the book. It is quite easy.

I hope you can find some relief. I know it will be okay. πŸ™‚ Try and stay positive.

Post # 12
2224 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I was going to suggest Mirena until I realized you said you tried IUD’s already.

((HUGS)) I’m so sorry you’re going through this πŸ™ But you two are married and your husband sounds like a wonderful man, he’ll stand by you while you figure this out!

Have you tried spermicide? That’s really all I can think of besides everything else suggested. What about lambskin condoms?

Post # 13
2214 posts
Buzzing bee

NFP really isn’t that hard once you start doing it. I only do it by taking my temperature every morning before I get out of bed. Then I put the number into my chart using fertilityfriend.com and that does all the work for me. There are other things you can chart (discharge and cervical position), but I don’t do that and my charts are still very clear and accurate about when I ovulate.  I started by reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility.  You might want to give it a second look since nothing else seems like an option right now.

Post # 15
2450 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012


You should read the book ‘Taking Charge Of Your Fertility’. It will teach you everything you need to know about natural family planning and being able to tell when it’s safe to have sex by knowing your own body.

Post # 16
3697 posts
Sugar bee

I hope the charting goes well for you! I was hesitant about it at first, too, because I thought it sounded annoying, but now that we’ve been doing it for a while I’m pretty happy with it. Darling Husband is actually in charge of the “paperwork” side of it: when we wake up, I take my temp and he notes it on the chart (I handle the other details).

It’s definitely easier if you are blessed with a fairly regular cycle, but it’s been a lot less of a hassle than I originally expected, and I’m glad for how much I’ve learned from it.

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