(Closed) Major Bridal Party Dilemma….Please help!

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
11239 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

What’s a hostess?

Post # 4
Member
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’ve never even heard of this position, so I might turn it down too. 

Post # 5
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

I think their reaction is perfectly understandable. Whatever “hostess” is (not really familiar with that as a wedding role?) it sounds like a demotion from bridesmaid, and it sounds like you’re trying to say “I’m having second thoughts about asking you to be a bridesmaid.” I can understand why they are unhappy. I would be hurt and insulted in their shoes.

Post # 6
Member
1253 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I have no idea what a hostess is, so I’m pretty sure you don’t need them, since I successfully married without one.

Post # 7
Member
7656 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

A host and hostess usually go to the reception before all the guests and greet them as they come in. You typically have a couple from each side (or 1) and they kind of introduce or bring the families together. They aren’t really necessary.

Also, OP, you said you had hoped that your FI would FIND additional groomsmen? GM and BM should be the people most important to you, so I can understand your girls saying no way to your suggestion of them being a hostess. You can still make this wedding work and look right despite having uneven sides though.

Post # 8
Member
745 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

You can have 9 bridesmaids, 3 groomsmen, and 0 hotesesses just fine. Honestly, you should have thought about it before asking them to be bridesmaids. Demoting them now would be rude. They’re not being inflexible, and can you seriously blame them for not being understanding?

Edit: THis is what I found while googling wedding hostess:TL;DR version: A hostess is a designation given to a “person of honor” who will be asked to guide guests to the guest book, direct them to the bathrooms, pass out programs during the ceremony and can help direct guests to their assigned seating at the reception. Normally a small corsage is provided for a “hostess”. 

links to other descriptions:http://voices.yahoo.com/the-duties-responsibilities-wedding-hostess-7768356.html?cat=23http://www.ehow.com/list_6504458_host-hostess-duties-wedding.html

Post # 11
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

HOpefully the other girls would be more understanding? Have their bought dresses yet. Either way it looks like a demotation and some people will make a big deal over it.

Post # 13
Member
3002 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@dnc2011:  Its just rude. Thank them for considering it and move on. Have all the men standing up at the alter and each BM walk down the aisle individually.

Post # 14
Member
669 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

In my opinion, weddings are getting less traditional and I don’t think you have to have matching numbers of groomsmen and bridesmaids. However, it is all a preference thing. This is definitely a sticky situation and I can see where are are feeling stressed, but also how they may be a little upset as well. Hope all works out for you in whatever you choose to do!

Post # 15
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

If my friend asked me to be a bridesmaid, then re-negged because there were more of us than groomsmen, I might have a conflict that day too.  It really is not a nice thing to do to people who are supposed to be your dear friends.  I would not want the ‘hostess’ duty either, because you’re basically asking them to perform the ‘duties’ without the recognition of standing up with you.

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