Post # 1
I honestly thought that my fiancé would be able to find additional people and totally forgot that I need d hostesses at the wedding. So no I am faced with the related of cutting down the numbers slightly.
I sent out a very nice email to all of the bridesmaids asking if a couple of people would not mine volunteering to be hostesses in order to help my out. Three of the girls flat out told me no and that they only wanted to be a bridesmaid; one even went as far as saying that her schedule would conflict if she was a hostess.
I feel like people should be just a little bit more flexible and understanding.
Would do you ladies think?
Post # 4
I’ve never even heard of this position, so I might turn it down too.
Post # 5
I think their reaction is perfectly understandable. Whatever “hostess” is (not really familiar with that as a wedding role?) it sounds like a demotion from bridesmaid, and it sounds like you’re trying to say “I’m having second thoughts about asking you to be a bridesmaid.” I can understand why they are unhappy. I would be hurt and insulted in their shoes.
Post # 6
I have no idea what a hostess is, so I’m pretty sure you don’t need them, since I successfully married without one.
Post # 7
A host and hostess usually go to the reception before all the guests and greet them as they come in. You typically have a couple from each side (or 1) and they kind of introduce or bring the families together. They aren’t really necessary.
Also, OP, you said you had hoped that your FI would FIND additional groomsmen? GM and BM should be the people most important to you, so I can understand your girls saying no way to your suggestion of them being a hostess. You can still make this wedding work and look right despite having uneven sides though.
Post # 8
You can have 9 bridesmaids, 3 groomsmen, and 0 hotesesses just fine. Honestly, you should have thought about it before asking them to be bridesmaids. Demoting them now would be rude. They’re not being inflexible, and can you seriously blame them for not being understanding?
Edit: THis is what I found while googling wedding hostess:TL;DR version: A hostess is a designation given to a “person of honor” who will be asked to guide guests to the guest book, direct them to the bathrooms, pass out programs during the ceremony and can help direct guests to their assigned seating at the reception. Normally a small corsage is provided for a “hostess”.
links to other descriptions:http://voices.yahoo.com/the-duties-responsibilities-wedding-hostess-7768356.html?cat=23http://www.ehow.com/list_6504458_host-hostess-duties-wedding.html
Post # 9
The would have the same role as bedsides maid exceptwallowing down the aisle. Maybe it’s just me but I didnt want to have 9 bridesmaids and 3 groomsmen and the idea of hostess would still give everyone te opportunity to be in the wedding.
Post # 10
@HeathenSwan: you are right shouldn’t have asked them but I did so I thought it was a good way to fix it.
Thanks for the tough love
Post # 11
HOpefully the other girls would be more understanding? Have their bought dresses yet. Either way it looks like a demotation and some people will make a big deal over it.
Post # 13
@dnc2011: Its just rude. Thank them for considering it and move on. Have all the men standing up at the alter and each BM walk down the aisle individually.
Post # 14
In my opinion, weddings are getting less traditional and I don’t think you have to have matching numbers of groomsmen and bridesmaids. However, it is all a preference thing. This is definitely a sticky situation and I can see where are are feeling stressed, but also how they may be a little upset as well. Hope all works out for you in whatever you choose to do!
Post # 15
If my friend asked me to be a bridesmaid, then re-negged because there were more of us than groomsmen, I might have a conflict that day too. It really is not a nice thing to do to people who are supposed to be your dear friends. I would not want the ‘hostess’ duty either, because you’re basically asking them to perform the ‘duties’ without the recognition of standing up with you.