Post # 1
I have a friend who got married several years ago. I was her Maid/Matron of Honor (over her sister) in her thrown together wedding. Since then she has had a child, is going through a divorce, and has moved out of state. We still talk, not as frequently, but I still considered her my friend. I do feel as if we have grown apart. Honestly if I met her now I would choose not to be friends with her for many reasons. I do want to make it clear that she has been nothing but a good friend to me.
The problem is I don’t want her to be one of my bridesmaids even though I was her Maid/Matron of Honor. Is this horrible of me? Anyone else gone through this before, or been in a similar situation?
Post # 3
I would say no, it was years ago, people change and drift apart. It’s just one of those things!
Post # 4
I would definitely not include her just because you were her Maid/Matron of Honor. You want to look back at your wedding pictures and smile not regret including a Bridesmaid or Best Man who you wouldn’t even want as a friend.
Post # 5
Yep I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man in a friends wedding, when my time came. We were not close anymore so I asked her to be a personal attendant, she said yes but then backed out because she felt that because we had been friends “longer” than one of my other BM’s she didn’t want to be in my wedding. Honestly our friendship was on a downward sprial as it was. I honestly didn’t want her “drama” involved in my wedding so it worked out well. Granted we don’t talk anymore but I am okay with that
Post # 6
you want your best girls by your side, and she doesn’t sound like one of those girls. You’ll probably regret having her in the wedding later. I’d say no!
Post # 7
It’s not tit-for-tat. Just because someone was in a bridal party doesn’t mean they have to include that person once their wedding rolls around. Ask people who you want to be in your party because you are close with them, not to “return the favor.”
Post # 8
@GFerg: @jbarker09: @Sassygrn: @mayahpay: @Lily_of_the_valley: Thanks for the advice! The thing is that I don’t think she realizes I don’t see her as a best friend any longer. I honestly think she sees us as great friends, and I believe she is completely clueless to the fact I feel this way, and I really don’t want to have that convo with her… especially since it would consist of me calling her up out of the blue and dropping this on her. Maybe I’ll just avoid her and stop stressing! lol
Post # 9
@sdnathe: There were girls I have been friends with longer that I didn’t have in my wedding, I wanted the girls that were by my side to be the girls that I’m not only close to NOW but that have been a part of my relationship with my fi and know us as a couple (and grew with us as a couple) so my childhood best friend was not included even though I will always consider her my friend.
Post # 10
@sdnathe: I’ve had a similar situation recently. I was my friend from elementary and hs’s Maid/Matron of Honor over 7 years ago. I’ve since moved away and we really don’t have much in common any more. She is not in my wedding party, and I’d be willing to be that she’s relieved about it. She can still participate in showers and parties, of course.
Post # 11
I have a lot of long term friends, but my fiance and I decided to ask people to be in our wedding party that were supportive and important to us both. It is our day together and we wanted people that we both know very well. I wouldn’t feel right having someone beside me that my fiance didn’t know very well and vice versa.
Post # 12
@phillybride61513: So true about still being to participate in showers, and parties! I want her to feel included in some way.
Post # 13
@sdnathe: I hate this part of wedding planning! Dont include anyone out of guilt… If I did that, I’d have 80 attendants and no guests!
one of my friends got married in 2011 and I was not in her party. We had been fairly close once and I introduced her to her bestie/MOH.
To include me, she asked me to join her and her girls while they got ready… I was so excited At first but then felt a little left out bcs I was just sitting there! I didn’t hold it against her though, I found it thoughtful of her to make an effort.