(Closed) Major help needed – including family in bridal party

posted 6 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
2305 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

Put him on your side. No reason you can’t.

You could have him or your dad do a reading, or have your dad sign as your witness. 

Post # 4
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

If it’s that important to you, have him stand up with you. Or have him do a reading, if he’s not shy about public speaking. Don’t pressure your Fiance into taking a groomsman he doesn’t want. I personally see nothing insulting about being an usher (one of my best friends is an usher in our wedding), but you’re entitled to your opinion.

Post # 6
46653 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@CrazyCatLady13:  This isn’t an issue I would choose to fight about. The groom gets to choose the groomsmen, the bride gets to choose the bridesmaids. I’m only guessing, but I’ll bet you chose your bridesmaids, not him.

Your Dad already has an important role- escorting the bride down the aisle.

Is it possible your brother doesn’t care as much about this as you do? Personally, I’ve never met a 14 yr old boy who always had dreams of being a groomsman.

If it is important to you to have him involved, think of something else for him to do, but don’t let such a minor issue continue to cause strife between the two of you.




Post # 7
3039 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I don’t think you have to have a specific task to be important during a wedding! I’ll walk down the aisle with my Fiance, not my dad – but that’s not because I don’t love dad, it’s partly because it’s a tradition in Sweden & partly because dad would be uncomfortable with the spotlight. Similar thing with my little brother, we’re super close – but he’s not part of the bridal party. Had my Fiance asked him, I would have been fine with that, but I never expected him to (they get along great, but they live on different continents). Instead, I asked him to play during the ceremony & he will do a reading. I also asked him & his girlfriend to be responsible for the lawn games during the cocktail hour. So I feel like he’s pretty involved & important even if he’s not a groomsman!

I’m sure you can find something for your brother as well – perhaps escorting your mum to her seat or making a toast during dinner?

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