(Closed) Major, Messy Shower Problems!

posted 9 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Very sweet of those ladies, horray! Future Mother-In-Law wants to invite everyone? Future Mother-In-Law better throw you her own party. Geesh! Selfish, much?

Oh, sorry, the solution: Yes, tell Future Mother-In-Law that the shower is a very nice gesture and that the hosts cannot accomodate everyone and their brother. That’s not your fault, so Future Mother-In-Law can’t be mad at you…Can she?

Post # 4
7679 posts
Bumble Beekeeper


I wonder if you could tell her that where they are hosting the shower only holds 30 people?

Post # 5
9024 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Just let her know that the hosts have a 30 person maximum and so you can go over that.

Post # 6
5789 posts
Bee Keeper

She can WANT all she wants (but it doesn’t mean you have to do it), so you’ll have to tell her that the hostesses can’t comfortably fit more than 30. She’ll live…or she’ll come up with an alternate plan and have a second shower. 🙂

Post # 7
2453 posts
Buzzing bee

I agree with the PPs – just tell her that there is a strict 30-person limit and you’re afraid inviting everyone will go way over. 

My in-laws hosted my only bridal shower. They and we live in Missouri while my entire family is in the Northeast. They invited all their family (they’re more local) and only my immediate family. These are the people closest to me who would want an invite and would definitely give us gifts anyway but we knew wouldn’t come. We wanted them to feel included but didn’t want my extended family to feel like it was a gift grab. 

Post # 9
994 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Trust your instincts — it’s better not to invite out-of-area people. And like other PPs said, “sorry, Future Mother-In-Law, <hostess> has a 30-person limit, and I’d hate to ignore that when they’ve been so gracious”

Post # 10
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

View original reply
@Just_Squeeze: agree 100%!

Just tell her 30s the max.  And send the ladies YOUR list, not your mom’s. 🙂

Post # 12
47445 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It’s really not that hard and this situation doesn’t even call for diplomacy. The fact of the matter is the hostesses have asked that you limit the guest list to 30. Therefore , you tell your FMIl that 30 is the max- period.


Post # 13
321 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

You just need to respect the fact that your hostesses volunteered so generously to pay for your bridal shower…so having up to 30 guests is probably already expensive for them…just make sure you dont offend your hostesses. Also, if you invite every single woman on your wedding guest list, that would come off ofensive to those women who were not expecting a shower invite simply because they dont have a close enough relationship to you. Just invite the closest women in your lives and keep it less than 30 max.  You do not want any drama with those who are paying for your party. trust me on that.

Post # 14
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2012 - Vallecito Lake

You are certainly going to have to respect the hostesses, and your Future Mother-In-Law needs to recognize that. I feel like over 30 would be crazy for a shower anyway! Good luck!

Post # 15
34 posts
  • Wedding: October 2011

We have been going through this same thing and luckily two other people offered to give us a shower where we could invite more people than the first person who offered who limited us to 20 people.  No matter what you must ALWAYS respect the wishes of anyone gracious enough to host a shower for you and your Future Mother-In-Law must respect that.  If you tell her you cannot invite more than thirty you might just end up surprised like we were and have someone else offer to host an additional shower.

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