(Closed) MAJOR problem….future in laws….VENT, and need HELP!

posted 7 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
Member
2742 posts
Sugar bee

Um, I vote for letting him come but I wouldn’t bank on him showing up and being a big part of the wedding. Who knows? He might surprise you and not be drunk or high on that day. If your fi had been more open to not letting his brother be a Groomsmen, I’d have said, go and fight his parents over it. But it seems he’s just kowtowed to them and his brother is going to be a Groomsmen. This is a fight you don’t want to do without your Fiance support.

Post # 5
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think this is your FI’s fight.  It’s up to him to decide if he wants him up there or not.  Obviously you both have input but he needs to be the one to talk to his family about it.  Definitely a tough situation.  I would also task the rest of the Groomsmen to watch him (if he ends up being one) to make sure that he doesn’t get out of hand.

Post # 6
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

@nursein10: If your Fiance went to his brother and said “look, I’m really worried about you. I really want you to remember my wedding and I want everyone to have a good time, so it would mean a lot to me if you stayed sober for my wedding”, do you think he’d do it?

Post # 8
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

Try to remember that just because he is on drugs doesn’t make him a bad person. Its the drugs that is speaking for him. When/if he cleans up I would be willing to bet both you and your fiance would love to have a good relationship with him. This may help with that.

I think your fiance should speak with the brother and say we would like for you to be in the wedding, but please respect our day and come sober and clean.

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