Post # 1
Me and my Bf of 6 years went to the mall today. We are both 25. We were walking around and then we passed by a jewelry store. So I asked if we could go in. He was like no. Then I was like well I just want to look at rings to see what I like in real life as opposed to pictures and he’s like I’ll wait outside. So I explained to him that it looks different in real life. He agreed. At least that’s what I thought. We started walking to the store but he’s like I’ll wait outside again. I got upset. I didn’t want to go in alone. Partly because I want him to see the rings and partly because I look so young, salespeople never take me seriously when I go look at stuff alone. Anyways, he was like I don’t want to, etc. So then I got upset. He then was like whatever and started walking to the store. By then he ruined my mood so I was like NO let’s go home. Honestly, I am so F****** mad right now. After almost 6.5 years, he can’t even look at rings to see how they look like. We looked at rings like 3 years ago so I don’t see what the problem is. I moved several hours away from all my family and friends to live with him and he cant go into the store for 5 mins. It was just to look, no one said we were buying.
ARG so we left and I haven’t spoken to him the whole ride home and the whole evening. I am just TICKED off.
I had to get that off my chest. Thanks!
By The Way: We have talked about getting married for several years and especially alot the last few months. We have a “tentative” date for August 2011. I always email him pictures of what rings I like, etc. So it’s not like this is something new.
Post # 3
Have you talked about going to look at rings/ getting married recently in the not abstract “some day”? I guess it maybe feels (to him) that you were trying to pressure him to go in and look when he wasn’t a) ready b) in the mood for it. Unfortunately, we can’t FORCE those guys to do anything, they’ll do it in their own time and in their own way.
Post # 4
Ugh, sorry your guy was being such a jerk…try not to let it get to you!
Post # 5
My Fiance was the same way, don’t worry. I think guys like to do things their way and not feel pressured (by you and/or the sales associate) to buy a ring.
Eventually I left my Fiance alone and he managed to pick out an amazing ring for me! 🙂
Post # 6
That would make me mad but I would have never asked him to go look at rings. I’d wait for him to make that decision. It seems like you kept pushing it I don’t know why he didn’t want to go in but once he said no I personally would have backed off and just passed the store. I might have even asked him why later on while sitting at dinner or something. If you really wanted to see what it looked like in person you could have taken a close friend some other time. It seems like you just wanted to show him what ring you like. I haven’t had the need or want to drag SO into the store to show him what ring I want or have a close friend drop hints.
I’m not trying to come off mean or rude just being honest and saying what I think. I totally understand how you feel I have been dating my SO for 5 years I will be 25 in May and he is 31. Waiting gets old, fast. Maybe he was just tired of being at the mall or he didn’t want to feel pressured.
Post # 7
I have found that men don’t really like to feel like they are bein forced into anything, even if they are not. Somehow you have to make it seem like it’s partly his idea
Sorry you feel crummy, you will love him again very soon!
Post # 8
((HUGS)) I know how that goes. It’s like I was breaking his arm asking him to go into a store. I would definitely have a conversation with him to make sure you guys are on the same page after 6 years. Good luck 🙂
Post # 9
I am sorry that you were upset but I think you owe your Boyfriend or Best Friend an apology. I will agree with some of the earlier posters that he probably felt pressured to go in and look at rings when he made it clear that he didn’t want to. Plus…he already has an idea of what you want since you have looked at rings together a few years ago AND you have e-mailed him pictures of rings that you like. Maybe he already went into that store asking about rings and didn’t want to be recognized and have his cover blown.
In any case, my suggestion would be to apologize to him for being so pushy, ask him if he is considering marriage in general and marriage with you in particular, and tell him that you will wait until he proposes….and try with all your might to be patient.
Hope I am not coming off as insensitive but I have a lot of guy friends and I have been hearing the scenario from the man’s perspective over and over again and have to admit…they have a point.
Post # 10
Sorry he really upset you! But have you thought that maybe he could have a ring in mind or maybe its in the works?! This sort of happened to me, I wanted to go into a store and the Fi said no, and once he stopped talking about getting married it worried me, but come to find out a month later he proposed!! He was afraid to give it away! And the jewelry store I wanted to go into, he got the ring from, so he didn’t want anyone to recognize him and give him away.
But I say if you guys have a tentative date, I’m sure the ring is coming. He’s just either trying to save the money for your perfect ring or find the right time to propose! I know it can be frustrating at times, but I learned that you just have to be patient.
Post # 11
Maybe he already picked a ring for you and he doesn’t want you to look at any more… I have a feeling thats what my boyfriend is up to.
Post # 12
Why aren’t you talking to him? I get that you’re bummed, but that seems a little extreme, honestly. He didn’t want to look at rings. Bummer? yes. Reason for a major fight? probably not. I know you’re feeling let down, but try to see it from his perspective. You don’t want to come off as the pushy-engagement-crazy girl who pouts when things don’t go her way. Try just using this board and your friends to vent, but don’t take it out on him… from an outsider’s perspective, he sounds pretty innocent in this situation. And for goodness sakes, at LEAST talk to him!
Post # 13
That sucks…he’s not being very grown up about it by refusing to go into the store. But he probably doesn’t want to feel pressured. Or maybe he already has something picked out and doesn’t want to be disappointed if you point out a style you like that’s not like what he picked?
Post # 14
Thanks everyone for the comments and support.
I just wanted to explain why I am upset.
As for him getting the ring from that place. ZERO chance because we are out of the city for school so he wouldn’t get it from here when we have connections at home. Yes I agree I kind of pressured him by asking him but he said okay and then changed his mind as we walked there so that was not my fault. Then I said let’s go home already. I just wanted to see how they look like since I have changed my mind on what I liked from several years ago. I only saw one ring with him 3 years ago so we didn’t really look. That exactly what I told him. So he was like okay and then changed his mind. So that’s why I am mad. If after I asked him and explained why I wanted look, if he had so no i really don’t want to then i would have said okay that’s fine. but he said okay let’s go to the jewelry store and then when we get there he’s like okay go in i’ll just wait outside. It just ruined it and i got mad.
I’m not talking to him right now because I need some time to calm down. I know if I were to talk to him right away I would have blown up. I’m one of those people who needs to walk away and take a few minutes to think about things so that I don’t go crazy lol
Post # 15
Maybe he doesn’t want you to pick out your own ring. My Fiance refused to go try on rings with me or even get pictures from me of what I wanted. he wanted to do it alone. And he did. And my ring is beautiful. 🙂
Post # 16
Not to get your hopes up, but maybe he already has the ring picked out?