(Closed) MAJOR vent about looking at rings-ticked off

posted 10 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
4566 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Have you talked about going to look at rings/ getting married recently in the not abstract “some day”? I guess it maybe feels (to him) that you were trying to pressure him to go in and look when he wasn’t a) ready b) in the mood for it. Unfortunately, we can’t FORCE those guys to do anything, they’ll do it in their own time and in their own way.

Post # 4
2472 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Ugh, sorry your guy was being such a jerk…try not to let it get to you!

Post # 5
2475 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

My Fiance was the same way, don’t worry.  I think guys like to do things their way and not feel pressured (by you and/or the sales associate) to buy a ring.

Eventually I left my Fiance alone and he managed to pick out an amazing ring for me!  🙂

Post # 6
62 posts
Worker bee

That would make me mad but I would have never asked him to go look at rings. I’d wait for him to make that decision. It seems like you kept pushing it I don’t know why he didn’t want to go in but once he said no I personally would have backed off and just passed the store. I might have even asked him why later on while sitting at dinner or something. If you really wanted to see what it looked like in person you could have taken a close friend some other time. It seems like you just wanted to show him what ring you like. I haven’t had the need or want to drag SO into the store to show him what ring I want or have a close friend drop hints.

I’m not trying to come off mean or rude just being honest and saying what I think. I totally understand how you feel I have been dating my SO for 5 years I will be 25 in May and he is 31. Waiting gets old, fast.  Maybe he was just tired of being at the mall or he didn’t want to feel pressured.

Post # 7
1303 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I have found that men don’t really like to feel like they are bein forced into anything, even if they are not.  Somehow you have to make it seem like it’s partly his idea


Sorry you feel crummy, you will love him again very soon!

Post # 8
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

((HUGS))  I know how that goes.  It’s like I was breaking his arm asking him to go into a store.  I would definitely have a conversation with him to make sure you guys are on the same page after 6 years.  Good luck 🙂

Post # 9
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I am sorry that you were upset but I think you owe your Boyfriend or Best Friend an apology. I will agree with some of the earlier posters that he probably felt pressured to go in and look at rings when he made it clear that he didn’t want to. Plus…he already has an idea of what you want since you have looked at rings together a few years ago AND you have e-mailed him pictures of rings that you like. Maybe he already went into that store asking about rings and didn’t want to be recognized and have his cover blown.

In any case, my suggestion would be to apologize to him for being so pushy, ask him if he is considering marriage in general and marriage with you in particular, and tell him that you will wait until he proposes….and try with all your might to be patient.

Hope I am not coming off as insensitive but I have a lot of guy friends and I have been hearing the scenario from the man’s perspective over and over again and have to admit…they have a point.

Post # 10
2342 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Sorry he really upset you!  But have you thought that maybe he could have a ring in mind or maybe its in the works?!  This sort of happened to me, I wanted to go into a store and the Fi said no, and once he stopped talking about getting married it worried me, but come to find out a month later he proposed!!  He was afraid to give it away!  And the jewelry store I wanted to go into, he got the ring from, so he didn’t want anyone to recognize him and give him away.

But I say if you guys have a tentative date, I’m sure the ring is coming.  He’s just either trying to save the money for your perfect ring or find the right time to propose!  I know it can be frustrating at times, but I learned that you just have to be patient.

Post # 11
3281 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Maybe he already picked a ring for you and he doesn’t want you to look at any more… I have a feeling thats what my boyfriend is up to.

Post # 12
436 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Why aren’t you talking to him?  I get that you’re bummed, but that seems a little extreme, honestly.  He didn’t want to look at rings.  Bummer? yes.  Reason for a major fight? probably not.  I know you’re feeling let down, but try to see it from his perspective.  You don’t want to come off as the pushy-engagement-crazy girl who pouts when things don’t go her way.  Try just using this board and your friends to vent, but don’t take it out on him…  from an outsider’s perspective, he sounds pretty innocent in this situation.  And for goodness sakes, at LEAST talk to him! 

Post # 13
3226 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

That sucks…he’s not being very grown up about it by refusing to go into the store. But he probably doesn’t want to feel pressured.  Or maybe he already has something picked out and doesn’t want to be disappointed if you point out a style you like that’s not like what he picked?

Post # 15
11324 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Maybe he doesn’t want you to pick out your own ring. My Fiance refused to go try on rings with me or even get pictures from me of what I wanted. he wanted to do it alone. And he did. And my ring is beautiful. 🙂

Post # 16
683 posts
Busy bee

Not to get your hopes up, but maybe he already has the ring picked out?

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