(Closed) Major Vent! — Family’s expectations are driving me up the wall!

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Aww honey I am sorry.

it’s hard, but evenutally you get a ” fuck it, this is what i am doing, deal with it” attitude. It will be ok, ( hugs)

Post # 4
31 posts
  • Wedding: July 2012

Yes, I completely understand where you are coming from. My Fiance and I constantly remind each other very nearly every day that we may be poor people, but poor people can be happy and live in nice rented places and maybe have families. We find that is what helps: sticking together and supporting each other. Also, we are very happy renting! My father and his mother are not pleased with our feelings at all. They view us as complete failures.

For several reasons, I will never, ever go to post secondary school. However, my FMIL has flat out told me that she forbids us to have children until we both have a degree and own a home. This situation will never happen, though we do plan on buying a home in a few years. We plan to start TTC in September, and we know we will work it out together.

Good luck, and stay strong. 🙂

Post # 6
7174 posts
Busy Beekeeper

People raise famlies with less than 100K all the time.  🙂 

If you think about it, you don’t have to justify your choices with anyone – including your family.

…who cares if your family thinks you are a failure.  Maybe in their eyes, you are.  If the criteria is earing 6-figures, owning a home in ‘x’ neighborhood, driving ‘x’ car, going on ‘x’ vacations…. you know what I mean?

Hang in there!  Don’t put unnecessarily expecations on yourself.  As long as you and Darling Husband are on the same page, communicating, working on your relationship, and doing what you can to support yourself, you are on the right track!

Post # 7
2263 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Good grief. If 100K is needed to have a family, I’d have never been born 😉 My siblings and I were raised on average income(wayyy less than 100K in our area) and turned out just fine. We never went hungry and had plenty of opportunities to get ahead in life. 

 I’m sorry this is happening to you, I would simply tell your pushy family members in a nice way, “It’s my life, we have our own family together now that we are married… and your advice will be asked for if we need it.” 

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