(Closed) MAJOR WEDDING DAY HELP!!!!!

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Speaking from my own experience, if your fh isn’t giving you a strong opinion on something wedding related it is because he wants you to make the decision, it isn’t on that level of importance for him. I would listent o what he has said so far, and then make an executive decision.  Then tell him that deposits have been made and changes can no longer be made.  Wedding planning is female territory.

 

Good luck.

Post # 4
Member
30 posts
Newbee

I can see how its pretty frustrating for you when your FH tries to throw a wrench into plans that are already in motion and then backs away from them with a passive-aggressive "I don’t care."  But, it happens..its happened to me more than once.   In these cases, I feel that it works best to just go with what I wanted in the first place and not overthink.  Picking a timeline is tough and there are a lot of competing factors – not everything can be accomodated unfortunately.   

Sounds like you prefer to have the Friday afternoon wedding and reception and that your FH doesn’t have too much of an opinion.  If thats the case, go with what you want and not try to other’s wants/needs for them.   Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

bump

 

Post # 6
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I wonder if your Fiance is really suggesting a change, or just thinking out loud.  You can second-guess (and change a dozen times) every decision you make about your wedding – but thinking that you COULD do something else doesn’t mean that you should.  It sounds like you’ve got a lot of good reasons for the decision you already made.  And yes, I think that 3 months notice should be plenty of time for people to get time off work.  You’re a little worried about the small guest list, but it turns out that the smaller your guest list the higher your turnout – because you haven’t invited a bunch of people who don’t necessarily care if they see you get married – just the people who really matter.  And seriously, those people are going to do what they have to do to get the day off.

Anyway, you can do one of two things here.  You can treat his suggestion as serious, and sit down with him and make a list of pros and cons for the Friday versus Saturday ceremony – or you can just go ahead with what you already decided.  I actually think that it would be a good idea to sit down with him and go over the decision.  It’s good practice for making other decision together, and it lets you hear his thoughts and him hear yours.  I know that my  husband will sometimes say "Okay, whatever you want" just because he thinks otherwise we’re going to argue, and he doesn’t care enough to argue about it.  That doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to be heard – just that he thinks he’s pissed me off without really meaning to.  It’s easy for me to say "Well, then why did you bring it up in the first place?" and just do what I want, but it’s better for both of us to work it out together.  Plus, that way you won’t have that frustrated feeling that you’re having to take all the responsibility for the decision.

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