- Miss Orchids
- 9 years ago
- Wedding: June 2010
I’m having a really hard time with some things lately, and I was putting off posting about it because I was hoping things would change for the better, but they haven’t.
Here’s the scoop… Mr. Orchids and I have a pretty understanding relationship with 99% of things, but there are some Major things that we just can’t seem to get past.
First off let me just say that I am Mr. O’s first and only ever girlfriend. He waited a very long time to date at all because he didnt feel you should waste time with people you don’t plan to be with long term. However, he was definately not my first boyfriend. The problem comes up with ANY of my past boyfriends. No matter how long ago it was. He gets very upset when they get brought up and basically shuts down on me. He tells me I don’t understand because "I’ve never been in his situation." Granted I’m sure he doesn’t want to hear about them, but because of those failed relationships is what has lead me to him. He just doesn’t see it that way. He tells me I shouldn’t refer to my time with any of my ex’s as a life because in his opinion none of them treated me well enough. I really understand where it would bother him, but it’s not like I or anyone in my family talk about them all the time. And when they’re talked about it’s again about how terrible they treated me and how happy they are that he treats me so well! It drives me crazy because he gets SOO upset! I don’t know what to do. I’ve told him they don’t matter, my family has reassured him that they wouldn’t trade him for anything, and I don’t know what else I have to do. I tell him all the time how I couldn’t ask for a better person to be with, and how much I care about him.
The second problem…….HIS PARENTS!!!! They are ridiculous control freaks! They HAVE to know what we are doing, where we’re going, who we hang out with, everything! Even what our finances are! I feel like I’m twelve again when I’m around them. But that’s not the worst. The worst is that they run a family owned business that he works for, and they mess with his paychecks CONSTANTLY!!! And trust me they are not adding to them, by any means. Not only have I said to him that this is illegal, but it also makes things very hard on us trying to pay for a wedding. It also wears on him because he is made to feel terrible on top of them changing his pay. They tell him constantly (and only when I’m not around) that he’s useless, and he works too slow. That he’s never going to fully be able to be on his own because he’s too lazy, etc. Mind you this man works very hard and over 50 hours a week, and they literally will pay him $300 a week MAX. I don’t know what to do! He won’t listen and try to get a new job. He won’t stand up to them. He won’t do anything! I’ve stood up more for him than he does and they just take it out on him when I’m not around.
I don’t know how to help him and quite frankly I’m losing my patience in both situations! I’ve tried to sit down and talk to him about it and get him to look into other things, and I’ve tried to make him understand that he needs to be more flexible because I do the same for him, but it doesn’t happen.
We have had many arguements about this and I’m honestly just so tired of it. I don’t know what to do, and it’s even gotten to the point where I don’t know how much longer I can stand this. If things don’t change, there probably won’t be a wedding…..