(Closed) Make a decision: a house or a wedding.

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1481 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

I’m sorry you’re going through this right now! Especially so close to your wedding!! I think it’s strange that your Fiance keeps putting in offers and then changing his mind. Don’t you lose the escrow fee that you used to make the offer(s)?

Post # 5
Member
1481 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@jennabug:  That’s insane! I know I had to put down like $3k when I put an offer on my condo, that could definitely go to a wedding. I mean, essentially it would make the most sense to just buy the house that he has an offer on currently. What are his concerns? 

Post # 6
Member
4371 posts
Honey bee

I can’t believe he didn’t discuss with you first. These are major decisions!

Post # 7
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Wow! I’m not surprised you’re livid with him! Did he not even discuss this with you? “Sorry, honey, I didn’t think you’d notice that we’re buying a different house at a different time!”

Not to mention the money you usually need to put down on a house when you’ve had an offer accepted, which can add up to a lot of money! What is he thinking??

Post # 8
Member
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I don’t understand how you are marrying someone who is not including you in major financial decisions that will have impacts to the both of you. A home impacts where you will live, how you’ll be paying mortgage/rent, etc. 

You mentioned preferring renting over buying but he’s intent on buying anyway. A marriage is supposed to be a partnership…I’m not sure what you are signing yourself up to but it sounds like you are going to have a long road ahead of you.

Post # 9
Member
765 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@jennabug:  The part that concerns me is that he’s making MAJOR financial decisions that affect BOTH your lives without consulting you. He shouldn’t be making offers or pulling them without your input. Imagine if that continues when you are married! Are you going to be happy with that? You need to talk to him about that larger issue BEFORE you marry him. 

We weren’t even engaged yet (just living together) and my now fiance even asked me if it was okay for him to buy a new car that he had saved up all the money himself. 

You want a PARTNER…and part of that is making big financial and life decisions as a TEAM. 

Post # 10
Member
259 posts
Helper bee

Can I suggest trying to sit down and talk to him? Explain that it’s not just his decision what you do about your living situation – and that switching and changing is not only resulting in lots of costs but also messing with other important things. Explain to him that you do have a say, and since you’re going to be life partners you’d probably do well to discuss this thoroughly.

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