(Closed) “Make an honest woman out of her OR ELSE!”

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: When should we elope?
    Before we move in, even if it upsets the other bride. : (4 votes)
    4 %
    After we move in (as planned), even if we lose our friends. : (24 votes)
    24 %
    Whenever the heck we want! : (72 votes)
    72 %
  • Post # 17
    2090 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I have to agree with everyone else that says your “friends” are way out of line. Even if they are morally offended by you living together before you are married, it’s a whole ‘nother game to announce you would stop being someone’s friend over it. Peeps can disagree, and still be friends.

    Do what’s right for you.

    Post # 19
    1893 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011


    To answer the question, they have never been like this in the past. They did have a very short courtship/engagement and were married within 8 months of meeting eachother. They are Christian but don’t attend church and they are musicians and tend to hang out with real characters. They have other friends who are living together before marriage… So I just don’t get it. I know purity was important in their relationship, but they “fooled around” and were still “technically virgins,” whatever that means.

    These types of “christians” really piss me off.  They’re not about worshipping their god, they’re about judging other people, looking down their noses at those who don’t share their same beliefs or live their lives the way they feel they should, hiding behind “technicalities” when they fail to live up to their own impossible standards. Hypocrites of the worst kind.  Who cares what they did in their relationships, this is your life and your relationship.  People in glass houses and all that.

    If I were you I’d tell them to suck it, but that’s me. 😀  I’m sorry to tell you, but those hypocrites are not your friends and they never were.  Anyone who would end a friendship because someone did not act in accordance with their beliefs is not a friend, they’re a sanctimonious jerk.

    You’re better off without them. 

    Post # 20
    2342 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    Who are they to give you that ultimatum!?  You guys should do whatever ya’ll want, whenever ya’ll want!  If they can’t except that, then they’re really not friends!  You should disown them as friends just for them saying that to you guys.  Do you honestly think that you can still be friends with them after that comment??

    Post # 21
    1641 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    A true friend would never say such a thing. Friends support you. They could certainly voice opinion, but when it comes to you living your life, well, it IS your life.

    Personally, I would not even look back to see if they were behind me.

    Post # 22
    1295 posts
    Bumble bee

    @mrsv2be:  You should get engaged whenever you want and forget what your “best friends” feel about it.  It’s ashame that they would stope being friends with you guys over what she be one of the most wonderful time of your lives.  Unfortunately for them their losing really good friends but now you see their true colors.  I hope they can be mature about it and put their beliefs behind and come around to supporting you.  If they can’t overcome their belief then you’re better off with out them.   Find some better friends ones who truly love and care about you despite any differences they may or not have with  you guys.

    Post # 23
    420 posts
    Helper bee

    I don’t know if it’s just me, but I don’t think a true friend should pass judgement on your life. Who are they to say that to you? Sounds like they have wayy too much time on their hands if they are so worried about what YOU are doing. This annoys me. And the kicker, you would be married in September, but you are GOOD FRIENDS and not taking away from your other friends’ wedding day!!! You sound like pretty good people to me. Tell them if they don’t approve, that is their problem. What are they anyway, your parents?? Don’t sound like “friends” to me!

    Post # 24
    1810 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I agree with Lezlers. Drop ’em. They should mind their own business. You don’t deserve to be treated like that.

    (And it seems like something I would’ve said in middle school!)

    Post # 25
    2402 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    They don’t sound like true friends to me. I can’t stand when people try to push their moral/religious beliefs on you… it’s fine they feel that way, but it’s none of THEIR business if you decide to move in first, then marry after!

    Post # 26
    3761 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I agree with everyone, however: 

    I would try to see if you can find out more why they are saying these things to you.  Is there an honest reason why?   I think sometimes friends can give us good insight but they should have good backing/reasoning why.  

    It does sound like they don’t have a very good reason for all this however.  

    I think you and your Fiance need to decide what is best for you two.  I wouldn’t take these friends into consideration or this other bride.  Just do what is right for you guys.  Make your decision as if no one else was involved.  Do you guys want to be married sooner rather than later?  If so, ignore the other bride and do it when you want.   Is it important to you to be married before you move in together.  Do what is best for you guys.  

    The topic ‘“Make an honest woman out of her OR ELSE!”’ is closed to new replies.

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