Post # 1
Today I had my make-up trial.
I have been sooo excited to do this, my mother opened her home to us and my bridesmaids and I were all treated to champagne, bridal movies, a foot spa and little sandwiches cut into fingers while we got our make-up done. We all trooped down to a tasty local restaurant for dinner afterwards and my gorgeous fiance picked me up and took me home.
Then I spent all evening sitting on the couch crying.
I have just realised that I am rather more concerned with appearances than I have ever thought. I have never really worn much make-up and I would say that I’m not bad looking even if I’m not really great looking. But sometime today it turns out that I was expecting magic make-up, and this magic make-up was going to transform me into a magical princess from a far away land and I was going to walk down the isle and marry my prince and I would, for just one day, be the most beautiful girl in the room. Cos that’s what’s meant to happen on your wedding day right?
So it turns out that my magic make-up really wasn’t all that magical…in fact it was quite ordinary. I didn’t look like a magical princess from a faraway land, I didn’t really even look like me. I missed my face and I missed what I thought my face should look like. My bridesmaids looked gorgeous and for the first time ever, instead of enjoying our differences and adoring their very different looks, I began to feel a bit resentful of their perfect complexions and lovely dark hair and their ability to pull of any colour they want and their tallness, I also hated their tallness. I hated my fair skin and my no colour hair and being so short that an extra kilo makes me look morbidly obese.
So now I am alternating between feeling very sorry for myself and wanting to slap myself for expecting so bloody much from a damn tube of make-up.
I guess this just sums up everything I need to know about being a bride. At the end of the day I am still me and no amount of expensive dresses and magical makeup and bling bling bling is going to change that and at the end of the day my knight in shining armour is sometimes just that idiot in tinfoil. And if I still love him anyway then he probably still loves me anyway and I need to also love me just the way I am…
But bees! I wanted to look magical. Has anyone else had moments like this? My Fiance thinks I’ve gone quite mad and frankly I’m a little disgusted in myself. Maybe I shouldn’t even wear make-up, maybe I should just be ok with who I am. Why do I have so many unrealistic expectations on my looks for my wedding day when I never usually care all that much? I’m not even one of those girls who has been plannig my day my whole life.
Post # 3
Hello paragraphs? Where did you go?
Post # 4
@marzipanda: *HUGS* We’re our own worst critics. It doesn’t help that there is so much pressure on brides to look perfect, but when it comes down to what the wedding is really about, your man wants to marry you. Not some magical make-up version of you, just you because he thinks you’re perfect the way you are.
Post # 5
I’m sorry you feel that way! You should know that you’re not the only one:
Is anyone worried about not being a “pretty bride”?
In life, there is so much pressure to look a certain way, and it seems to get even worse when weddings are involved. But as housebee pointed out, your Fiance wants to marry YOU, the girl he knows and loves, and finds BEAUTIFUL. And you probably ARE being too hard on yourself – we see ourselves in such a distorted way, sometimes.
I just wanted to remind you that we’re here if you ever need to chat about your concerns or if you just need encouragement 🙂
Post # 6
First of all I’m sure we have ALL had moments or days like this!!Much love xxx
Secondly; Maybe you should have a one-on-one with your makeup artist and tell her how you felt, change the look? Tell them how you want to look, I know it’s more $$ doing another trial, but it may be of some help to just run through things again maybe go back to basics? Less is more as they say, and if you’re not one to wear make up a lot, maybe just go for some sexy lashes, flawless skin, a little winged eye and some pretty pink cheeks and lips?
Oh sweetheart! I have had many occasions where i have had total meltdowns about my appearance, face and body! But they all pan out somehow!
Let us all know how you go!! Keep us all updated!!
Post # 7
Oh, what a disappointment!
I think that maybe you’re using the wrong make-up artist… it sounds like you want to look like the best possible version of yourself (which I think is what many brides want), but you ended up looking too far from your everyday look, and didn’t feel like ‘you’. I’m not surprised you felt upset!
Have you thought about going to do some make-up trials at cosmetics counters, etc? That might help you to find the sort of look and style that is right for you. You sound like you have beautiful colouring and hair, btw!
Good luck x x
Post # 8
Sobbing on the couch over an appearance issue? Hey, make room for me! It gets to us all, hon.
It’s counter-intuitive but learning more about makeup and getting all the tools I needed to recreate those “celebrity” looks really helped me feel better about myself. You learn that the trick is, EVERYONE can look like a movie star with enough makeup. Ergo, the majority of those stars/perfect people you see, really look just like us under all the schmear.
So, to help you, right now:
- Breathe and cut yourself a little slack, knowing that you’re judging how you look all the time, against how some people look in very controlled, temporary situations/photoshoots.
- Ask your friends what they think your best feature is and try to see how they see (this is corny, but sweet and helpful – I’ve always hated my eyes until a friend said something nice, and now that’s what I see).
- Talk to your makeup stylist, let her know you were a little underwhelmed and disappointed and would like another go – AND:
- Bring some photos of celebrities/inspiration pics that you like to show your stylist. The pics don’t have to look anything like “you,” but she’ll at least 1) be able to see your style and what looks good to you, so can tailor HER approach, and 2) if you’re being really unrealistic with yourself, she can let you know and hopefully help you find another look that suits you better. I’m also pale, with pale hair (dishwater blonde, for goddsakes), and shorter than ALL THREE of my tall, tan and brunette bridesmaids. I understand falling into the comparison trap. But we’re not less, we’re just different; and difference rocks!! So I’m sure there will be a great look for you – all of you, your complexion, your style, your dress etc – that makes you look and feel fantastic 🙂
I’m obsessed with makeup (wanted to be a MUA) so if you want to swap inspiration pics or some things to try next time, let me know! Chin up, girl 🙂
Post # 9
Thankyou everyone for your kind words, it makes me feel a little better to know that others out there feel the same way. I don’t htink it’s the make-up artist, I think it’s me
I can’t change my make-up artist as I am using my brothers girlfriend and honestly she has done a beautiful job on the other two, they looked gorgeous so she is very good at her job. I think the problem is that I had unrealistic expectations.
The pictures I took on my phone are terrible so I have to wait till she sends me the ones she took. I did tell her what I was going for but I think it was all too bright. Maybe I should just get her to do a more natural look instead of putting more on
Post # 10
@marzipanda: poor you, just be honest to her & say you would like her to try some other looks and just the 2 of you get together, no pressure & say what you did or didnt like about it. Look online or get some bridal magazines and mark what you want and get her to try those out. You need to sort it out or you will just keep worrying and if she thinks you liked it that is exactly what she will do for you at the wedding. Just say you have been thinking about it and you would like her to try out a few more things. Was she using a concealer or primer? What exactly didnt you like about it, do you think the make up was too much or not enough?
Post # 11
No it just didn’t look like me, I wanted it softer. I know I need the makeup for photographs but I am honestly one of those people who look better without makeup. I don’t know what she was using I didn’t ask and to be honest am not all that into the whole thing. It took so long for her to do mine because I couldn’t sit still for long enough which I know is really bad but seriously, I have the attention span of a gnat. Maybe that’s why it didn’t work for me. Fiance didn’t really like it either when I came home but everyone else kept saying it looked really lovely including my father with makes me inclined to believe that it’s my issue.
Post # 12
Oh I do have some pics but they are bad from my camera and make the pinks look far brighter than in real life. 2 before and 2 after. What do you think?
Post # 14
First off… I’m a makeup artist and even in the latest carrie underwood video that I saw… i noticed she had a breakout going on on her chin and when the lighting hit it just so I could see it, but clever makeup and film/ lighting disguises it in the video. No one ever looks perfect, and if you dont beleive me, look at Oprah without makeup and look at her very talented makeup people’s art after she has it on. If I may add my two cents here…you can take it or leave it. I personally think the eyebrows are filled in too much and its too dark. It’s kind of hard to tell from the pics, but I’d suggest a taupe pencil and only to define your already existing brows because you have a really nice arch! Also… you need some mascara sweetie! Mascara and an eyelash curler will really open up your eyes. Another mua trick is to add a little white liner on the water line of the lower lid to give the illusion of wider eyes too. Also to make your eyes sparkle I would add a touch of shimmery white to just under the brow bone, and in the inner corner of the eyes. I also am not loving that lip color on you, and I’m not sure if it just needs a little shimmer or balm, or if the color is just too heavy for you. As far as problematic skin… we all have it…. go to Target. Get a 5 dollar tube of Monistat chafing gel. Apply this to your skin after you have cleansed and moisturized. This will be your primer. It creates a barrier between the skin and makeup, and fills in lines and glosses over those blemishes. It creates an airbrushed look. Another trick I might try is to not take the eyeliner pencil all the way out to the corner of the eye. Instead stop just slightly before it. This also creates the illusion of a brighter more sparkly eye. I’m pale and short too…. but I love it because it makes me different. Embrace yourself, youre a beautiful girl!
Post # 15
Sweetie, you are beautiful.. You just need mascara and less eyebrow pencil. And posaibly a different lip colour. It’ll make all the difference.
Post # 16
@marzipanda: you are beautiful! I am not a make up artist & do not wear make up on a daily basis (only for going out at night) but have some suggestions. I think the suggestions from @nl: are very good. You definitely need mascara or maybe get your eyelashes tinted as they will frame your eyes. I also think that lipstick colour is too bright (sorry if you disagree) but you have amazing shaped lips so I think a more subtle colour would look great and not that tone, it doesnt suit you. I found this link also for make up tips for blondes with green eyes it has suggestions for colour lipsticks & might help http://lifeandluxury.hubpages.com/hub/Makeup-for-Blondes-with-Green-Eyes-and-Fair-Skin Also I would use a primer underneath, you can buy one yourself and get her to use it, it smooths the skin and provides a good foundation for your foundation :-). Here is a link to one in Australia http://www.faceofaustralia.com.au/products/face/face-base-primer.aspx Plus as you have some dark circles under your eyes (which most of us do, myself included) you could ask her to use an undereye concealer. Such as this http://www.faceofaustralia.com.au/products/face/high-definition-stick-foundation.aspx I havent used this brand myself and you may have another brand you prefer but I am sure she can come up with make up that you will love if you are able to give her more suggestions & direction about what you are not happy with.