(Closed) Makeup & Hair optional, but considering as a gift…

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
2791 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

You’re going to get a lot of people saying that if it’s for your wedding, it’s not a gift.  Gifts should be something you would get them for their birthday, not so they look good in your wedding photos.

Post # 3
Member
13616 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Yeah, that’s not a gift. Either offer it as an option, offer to pay, or don’t. By The Way, even if you do pay, you would not be justified to dictate hairstyle. Personal grooming is personal. 

Post # 4
Member
1340 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

“Personal grooming is personal.” Like that. 

It’s not a gift. You can pay for it, but not in lieu of a gift. 

Post # 5
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee

Not a gift. Being a Bridesmaid or Best Man means investing a lot of time, money, and energy to support your friend on their special day. I would be a bit ticked if the bride’s gift to me was all so I could look good on her day. 

Not saying that’s what you’re doing. I know how hair places are with the package thing and you’re just trying to come up with the easiest solution. I would just either pay for it and get them a separate gift saying “thank you” for participating in your day, or else make them pay and still get a gift. You don’t wanna offend anyone without meaning it that way. 

Post # 6
Member
3825 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Huh, I kinda think it is a gift, since it’s not compulsory. If you’d like to pay that would be a really nice thing to do and I’d be very happy if I was your bridesmaid 🙂

Post # 7
Member
26 posts
Newbee

View original reply
nonablu: Yes but some people don’t like that stuff anyway. My cousin won’t allow ANYONE to do her hair and makeup. If the bride of the wedding she was recently a Bridesmaid or Best Man for said, “I paid for it to get done…oh and it’s [part of] your gift”, she would have absolutely hated that.

Post # 8
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee

I think it’s a nice gesture, however you have to remember why they’re getting their hair/makeup done in the first place: the bride. It’s allllll about the bride on her big day and everyone gets that. You want to look good so she has good photos to remember such a special day by. However, her buying hair/makeup and saying its also the gift just isn’t classy to me. Fine, pay for the hair and makeup but I wouldn’t say it’s a gift because the only person it’s REALLY a gift for is the bride herself. The bridesmaids could be in their pjs with bed hair if it wasn’t for the wedding. It’s just already a lot of time and money invested and i think a gift that will last beyond the wedding day is a nicer sentiment. That way they can remember it fondly and it won’t wash away in 12 hours. 🙂

Post # 9
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee

However I will say I’m a pretty laid back bridesmaid myself and don’t really care about much of anything when I’m in a wedding because i underst it isn’t about me. So even if the bride paid for my hair and makeup as my gift and I was a little annoyed by it, I wouldn’t dare say anything or be mad at her. Either way, they’re your friends. Follow your gut. 

Post # 10
Member
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

This is not a gift, and a gift should be given, regardless of whether you decide to do hair/makeup or not. Most importantly, the gift should be something not for the wedding, no matter the price of that item. A little something to show you care about that person, personally.

My Fiance was a best man in a wedding, and the groom gave all the same “gifts” to his groomsmen that included: the bow tie they were required to wear for the wedding, a certain shirt they were required to wear under the suit for the wedding, and a koozie and mints that said the bride and groom’s names and their wedding date. These are not gifts, they are things that please the bride and groom only. And this was after my Fiance spent a lot of time and money being a supportive best man to this groom. He felt quite unappreciated after the whole thing.

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by  trianglecoast.
Post # 11
Member
3825 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

View original reply
fitette:  sure, but she already knows which of her bridesmaids want it 🙂

Post # 12
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

Don’t listen to people saying it’s not a gift that’s BS. Who doesn’t like to be pampered for a day? Who doesn’t like having their hair or makeup done for a fancy event, unless they specifically don’t like it or want it, it is a gift! Especially if they were going to pay themselves anyways.

 

 

Post # 13
Member
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2018 - SLS Las Vegas

View original reply
carre:  I’m going to disagree with the majority here. You know your bridesmaids want it and it is not just for you they want to look good too! I would surprise them with it and a nice card. If I was in a wedding and the bride surprised me I’d be like “sweet I get to save all this money plus i get to look gorgeous? WIN!”

Post # 14
Member
1160 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
nonablu:  not necessarily, the two who said no may have said no because they can’t afford it but would love to have it done if it’s now being paid for

Post # 15
Member
2966 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I partially paid for my BMs hair after they all opted in, but I didn’t really consider it part of their gift. It was more me being too lazy to wait around while the dummy of a receptionist tried to figure out how to give me a refund for my deposit! To book a wedding party they required a $150 deposit and on my wedding day rather than wait for her cause we were running super late, I told her to put $30 towards each girl’s hair. 

However if they hadn’t all chosen to have their hair done I wouldn’t have paid for some and not others. 

The topic ‘Makeup & Hair optional, but considering as a gift…’ is closed to new replies.

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