(Closed) Makeup & Hair optional, but considering as a gift…

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 16
Hostess
8942 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

carre:  I think maybe it isn’t a gift but a lovely guesture?

Post # 17
Member
1149 posts
Bumble bee

I was a bridesmaid for my sister.  We got hair and makeup professionally done and her budget allowed her to get us shoes and the dress.  I wouldn’t consider hair and makeup to be a gift, but as something that was required for the wedding (a plus that it was paid for but not a gift).  We actually didnt have bridesmaids gift since the bride spent a lot for our conveniences (ordering the dress and all).  All and all we were just happy to be there on her big day, get dressed up nice and pretty and support her.

Talk to your bridesmaids! if a lot of their expenses are paid for, you don’t necessarily need to have gifts (or call something like hair and makeup thats included as part of the wedding) a gift. Or you could just have them do their own makeup and use that money you were going to spend on their makeup and buy something small as a gesture of your appreciation for them being there.

Post # 18
Member
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Depends if shes uk also, bride pays for bridesmaids dresses too so the maids have less to fork out for. Regardless- id love it if i were a bridesmaid! Id love to be pampered 🙂 

Post # 19
Member
35 posts
Newbee

I got my bridesmaids small gifts (jewelry and a personalized jewelry dish) and also paid for their hair and make-up. It’s not mandatory to give gifts anyway, so why should it matter what you ‘gift’ them? To me, it was all about showing my appreciation. And paying for them to have their hair and make-up was a way of showing that. 

Post # 20
Member
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

You said this would be their “half” gift….maybe just don’t call this a gift at all and spend the other half of the alloted money on the gift you give them? Then this part won’t count as a gift and you’d still give them something that is a gift? 

I am still firmly in the camp that hair and makeup are not gifts. If it is for your benefit, such as making sure your girls are on point for your day, then it’s not a gift, In My Humble Opinion.

Post # 21
Member
816 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

princessbride1989:  nikbee:  I’m so with you– I would LOVE to get that as a gift! The day isn’t about me, and as a bridesmaid I feel that the most I deserve is a heartfelt “Thank you for helping me out today” from the bride. Gifts, including the hair and makeup, are a total bonus.

Post # 22
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

almostaudrey:  Ya totally.. some people on here are so against makeup, hair and robes as gifts but it all depends on the BM’s.. my friends are the type that pay to get their hair and makeup done for weddings that they are not even in, just to look good! So ofcourse its a gift that i am paying and i didnt tell them how to do their hair or makeup i let them do what they wanted.

Post # 23
Member
567 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

carre:  I’m thinking about doing the same thing. I am thinking about offering at least half. I know my girls are concerned about it because of price. Are you sure that it is the only reason they said no? Just a thought.

However, I do still plan on getting a gift for them. I want them to feel beautiful too; it’snot all about the pictures, but it is nice to get all gussied up together. 🙂

Post # 26
Member
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

While a lot of people say it’s not a gift, I think it definitely could be considered one, since it’s not mandatory, but the BMs still want it done. I’m giving my BMs the option of either getting their hair or makeup professionally done and paid by me. It’s not mandatory, but a nice gesture because I know they probably want to look nice (I know I would if I were a bridesmaid).

Having said that, I’m still going to get them each a small gift on top of their non-monogrammed robes I got. Pretty much all my bridesmaids were so psyched to have their hair/make-up done because that’s such a treat where I come from. Our rural community is a very DIY based, lower income community where everyone does a lace and burlap “country chic” wedding (seriously, my photographer has said she’s excited for my wedding because it won’t be that theme. She said she can’t count how many times she’s photographed the same mason jar with the same lace because all the brides resell their stuff!).

Post # 28
Member
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

nonablu:  I agree. The whole gift/not a gift thing is kind of crazy. The way I look at it, it’s money I am spending on them that they would otherwise spend (both my BMs want their hair/makeup done anyways)… so how is that not a “gift”. Instead of each exchanging dollar value of things we all need to spend money on, then can they not get me a gift, I don’t get them “gifts”, but they pay for the bridesmaids dresses and I pay for hair and makeup, I don’t see why we also need to exchange gifts. Maybe I am just not that into gifts (we are asking no gifts, including $, from any guests at the wedding).

Post # 29
Member
429 posts
Helper bee

If I were a bridesmaid I would happily accept it as a gift! That puts more money in my pocket and maybe more in your wedding gift! Lol! I have the same dilemma since my BMs want their h&m professionally done even though it’s not required. I am paying for half of it (they don’t know that yet) and was hoping that would be my gift to them but I wasn’t sure if they would feel the same way. So I bought each one of them a small gift  ($10 – $15 each) as well. And the gifts were personal to their likes and interests. I really don’t think they expect gifts, but all these etiquette rules really makes it confusing and harder sometimes!

Post # 30
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I will also disagree with the majority. For my bridesmaids, it IS a gift and a treat. We all love it, we all want it. And they would’ve had it done anyway because that’s what they do (we’ve done it before). If your girls enjoy that and being pampered, I do consider it a gift.

I would LOVE it if a bride paid for mine to be done! One less gift I’ll never use and an experience I’ll love. 

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