Post # 16
sunnierdaysahead2 : OK I’m nut allergic and I have vegan family members. I always let people know about my allergy ahead of time and I also say I can bring my own food. And I have many times before. If someone goes out of their way, I thank them.
The way she behaved is unacceptable. How are you supposed to know she changed to vegan. That’s ridiculous. If you knew ahead of time yea but to demand it without letting people know ridiculous. That’s like me saying day of “oh I have a nut allergy did you make it safe?” How can they know?
And to then equate a new diet choice to an allergy is lame. The allergy can kill you (and me) but the fact that she ate vegetarian last week and suddenly is vegan she can eat vegetarian one more time then tell you for next time.
Post # 17
I must have missed the part where Brother-In-Law made a scene at dinner?
Post # 18
I agree, it’s nice but not necessary. I have a gluten allergy (celiac) and never assume I will be accommodated. Actually, the worst is when my friends go out of the way to accommodate me but make a mistake and I can’t eat it anyways. It makes me feel awful for all of their wasted effort!
Post # 19
sweatergal007 : he called his sister out because she was on her high horse on what terrible people we were for eating meat and dairy (and setting a bad example for all the kids) so that’s when he pointed out that she didn’t seem to appreciate it.
Post # 20
ENTITLEMENT! I’ve been on limited eating programs for years, ethical, moral, health, allergy…….the whole spectrum.
Not only would I NEVER expect to be “accommodated” at the table of someone who had been kind enough in the first place to invite me to join them in the breaking of (low sodium gluten free) bread at the family table, but even more important, I’d never trust anyone to prepare something that would meet my strict requirements as edible.
So, I’d bring a casserole or basket or parfait of something delicious that would fit MY needs, tray my offering as a hostess gift, and if possible, fill out my plate with salad or a naked veggie if such were served and if not, finish my meal when I got home.
NO ONE EVER STARVED TO DEATH BECAUSE their poor hostess didn’t know that she was expected to suit every guest just so. Enjoy the company, enjoy the atmosphere, enjoy what you’ve brought for yourself and stop sounding like a finicky baby.
Or of course, a polite regret is always in good taste (pun intended).
Post # 21
sunnierdaysahead2 : Look I think everyone was at fault here. Sarah for not calling and checking that the host knew about being vegan and springing that on them at the last minute. The hosts for not telling Sarah when they spoke that they were sorry and would not be able to accommodate them last minute but then go on to bitch and complain about it. Brother-In-Law for demanding a thank you before the end of the evening (he seemed to be the agitator in all this). I mean guests usually don’t thank their hosts for the great food, drinks, company until the end of the night.
So everyone is at fault, including all the family that are continuing this drama and gossiping about it, and everyone should apologise for their part.
Post # 22
I’m a vegetarian for moral reasons. My family know that I am vegetarian, and so did your family. However, I would have let them know well in advance if that changed. It’s her fault she didn’t let you guys know ahead of time.
Post # 23
sunnierdaysahead2 : Ohhhhh. Noooo. Ok that was rude of her! Especially after all that effort to accommodate her! I would have said something too.
Post # 24
sambaty4 : Oh that is the worst! Like when people tell me “oh I don’t think that has nuts” but they didn’t read the ingredients and didn’t save it. I can’t eat it either. I feel so bad when that happens!
Post # 25
If you invite me into your home for dinner knowing gluten can kick off a UC flare up for me and only serve food I can’t eat I will think you are terribly inconsiderate.
If you invite me to your wedding having no idea I have dietary restrictions I won’t bring it up–you have enough to worry about–I’ll just eat before hand and make sure I have a snack in my bag.
This is not your problem. That said, this woman was doubly rude–first by not sharing these restrictions sooner but expecting accommodations and second for not appreciating the extra efforts made to cover with no notice.
Post # 26
I would say its required for the hosts to accomodate everyone, else why come. Though as a guest, you are ALSO required to tell your host if you cannot eat something. It’s like showing up to a meat-lover’s thanksgiving dinner and crying because they didn’t host that vegan turkey. You either inform before hand, or you get what you get. The poor wife… I would feel awful if I went through all that trouble for such an ungrateful brat.
Vegan meals aren’t particularly easy to make, especially for someone who might not know much about specific ingredients that are okay or not okay. Plus not to mention the host would probably like to cook something they’re familiar with so they don’t mess it up. Sarah is being extremely rude and ungrateful. I would probably stop inviting her altogether.