(Closed) Making Adult Friends For Dummies

posted 4 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
Member
47280 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

ChellFish22:  Have you tried Meetup groups? There is one for every kind of activity and interest.

In my first marriage,my ex was transferred every year, so I was constantly having to make new friends. I quickly learned that the people in each new town already had friends. I was the one who needed new friends, so it was up to me to make the first move.

Do you have any time in your schedule for volunteer work?

Post # 4
Member
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

Meetup.com is a good one! I never moved but my group of friends didn’t have hardly any of the same interests as me so I wanted to find some people that I had more in common with. You can search for something you like to do like yoga or volleyball!

I also agree with julies1949:  volunteering is a great way to meet new people!

Post # 6
Member
2098 posts
Buzzing bee

I was gonna say Meet Up too… I don’t have enough time on my hands but I would totally want to do Meet ups for foodies (that’s my obsession, food) or to practice Italian (used to speak it but lack of use is making it deterioate). But besides literal Meet up groups, if you take up some hobbies you might meet ladies in the process. Such as a sewing class. Volunteering sounds great as well, you mentioned cat lady, maybe a cat shelter? I have a really good friend I met on Friendster in 2003. LOL. We had both moved to a new city and somehow discovered each other on Friendster and went out for a meal and became legit friends. That seems really crazy looking back, 13 years later. There should totally be an app for making new frieinds. Like Tinder but for friends… 

Post # 8
Member
1581 posts
Bumble bee

I run a meetup group and have met tons of friends through our group.  Also, I’ve found that the most important thing is to follow through.  If I make plans with someone, I get out and do it.  Pick up the phone and call, text, facebook a hi and open up some opportunities.  If your SO is up for going out but sitting sidelines then you can make plans and if your new friends don’t show you and SO just have fun on your own.  My Darling Husband loves that b/c he brings his laptop and will work on programming if I want to mingle (I used to go to a crochet group before it closed). 

 

Post # 9
Member
2098 posts
Buzzing bee

ChellFish22:  Oh yeah, duh, work is a big one. Maybe a new job, even if its part time? 

Post # 11
Member
2098 posts
Buzzing bee

ChellFish22:  Ah right the online schoooling. Bummer. Keep at it and try the hobbies & volunteering. Let us know how it goes! 

Post # 12
Member
5153 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

ChellFish22:  Meetup.com is a real thing! Match for friends!

Post # 13
Member
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Are you me?

I had no idea how hard it was to make friends as an adult.  I do classes at my local gym, and I would really like to befriend some of the ladies in my class, but it’s like I’m scared to talk to them haha.  God I need help… 

Post # 14
Member
622 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

I’m in a similar situation! We’ve been moving across the country every 2-3 years for my husband’s job. He’s not military but it’s a strange field. I’m an accountant so I just take an accounting job wherever we are. We live in NJ now and I’m from MA, but we lived in Texas 2013-2015 and I felt SO secluded. We lived smack dab in the middle of the bible belt and here comes the liberal potty-mouth non-religious unmarried couple from Boston! I was able to make friends with a couple non-judgemental amazing girls at my job but it took almost the whole time we were there for me us to get the courage to ask each other to hang out outside of work. We became really close right before we moved and we joke about how shy we all were! I learned my lesson to not be so shy when meeting someone who I hit it off with.

Now that we’re in NJ, it’s a bit easier making connections with people but all the girls I work with are married with kids and can never get together out of work (we got together twice: when I started the job and when another girl left the job). Now I’m back in that spot of not having friends and it’s difficult! Meeting people at the gym is tough because nobody really wants to be bothered when working out. I asked Darling Husband if any of his coworkers have wives/girlfriends who I can hang out with and of course…they’re all single (which is common in his industry). I think my next step is to try a meetup group, like PP said. I’ve been looking at a few but I haven’t gotten the balls yet to go to a meetup! The joys of being shy but wanting friends!

Post # 14
Member
3332 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

There actually is an app for making friends lol. It’s called bumble. I havent tried it (only heard about it last night actually), but I think you can set it to romantic or friend. I was actually going to look it up, because I also don’t have many adult friends. Most of my friends and I have been friends since elementary school, and they don’t live close any more. So it would be nice to have some local friends again!

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