(Closed) Making Bridesmaids pay for some extras….

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1843 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

That’s a hard one.  Typically I would say NO WAY should you expect your BMs to cover their jewlery BUT you did already pay for their dresses (which would have been over $50 so they’re still getting off for less).  Have you told them all along that you were paying for the dresses?  Have you mentioned the jewlery to them?

Post # 4
Member
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think that it’s significant what their expectations are about what they will be paying for… It’s definitely not nice to spring some extra expenses on them last minute that they werent anticipating when they agreed to be your BMs.

But…also, you do know their financial situations better than we do. Perhaps some people would not agree with this, but *I* think that if you know they are relativelly well-off, I would not worry too much about it. BUT, if you think that some or all of them are not in the best financial situation, then I would be much less likely to ask them to pay for more.

Post # 5
Hostess
11166 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

Every time I have been a bridesmaid I have had to provide my own shoes and jewelry. I personally don’t see any issue with it since it is part of the ensemble which BMs usually pay for. Now hair and make-up etc that is a different story.

I have told my bridesmaids the overal look/colors that I would like and they are choosing based on those details to their personal taste.

 

Post # 7
Member
664 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I think it’s okay. They were expecting to pay for accessories. As a Bridesmaid or Best Man, I would much rather pay $50 for a crinoline and a jacket than $150+ for a dress.

Post # 8
Member
1955 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’m going to have to disagree with this one, sorry. I think if you wanted these things, it should have been discussed much earlier. Personally, I’ve never purchased jewelry at the request of a bride when I was a bridesmaid. I was either gifted jewelry or wore what I already had. That being said, I think its fine since you already told them about that. I’d much rather have purchased a dress that there is a chance I might wear again than purchase a crinoline and jacket which i know I would have no use for. Honestly, it sounds like your bridesmaids are already paying a lot, even without the dress. I think its asking too much of them to pay for a hotel, food and travel expenses,  taking time off of work, as well as these additional accessories. I know when I was a bridesmaid last time, I set aside a certain amount of money for wedding expenses, and i’d be a little upset that extra expenses were being sprung on me last minute, since obviously I wouldn’t have saved enough money since I couldn’t have accounted for the extra accessories.

Post # 9
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Is there anyway to work out a deal with where you’re going to buy these pieces from? I don’t know  how many BMs you have, but maybe you could approach the store and say “I want to buy 5 of these crinolines, can we do something about the price?”. Personally, I wouldn’t mind if you asked me considering you’re making the dresses yourself. $50 is negligable to me, but I can’t speak of your BMs financial situations, so that’s a call you’ll have to make yourself.

Post # 11
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@xenacick: I’d just throw it out there and see what their feedback is. They might say yes, they might say no. They might be really excited about the accessories and love them! You don’t know until you ask. But I think asking is the key rather than telling in this case.

Post # 12
Member
2584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

If they were aware that they’d be paying for accessories of your choice, I think it’s okay. I think it’s too close to the date to spring it on them, but if they had an idea they might have to spend money on accessories anyway it was probably expected.

The topic ‘Making Bridesmaids pay for some extras….’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors