Post # 1
I either altered or hand made my bridesmaids dresses. They are the gift I will give them for being in the wedding. However, there are a few accessories that I would like for them to have. Would it be wrong of me to ask my girls to purchase say $50 +- worth of items to make the outfit better? Granted, they already have expenses related to the wedding, transportation(if they are from out of town), time off work (my wedding is on a Monday), hotel & food expenses while they are here. So it’s not like they are getting away for free….I just don’t have any more room in my budget for these things.
Post # 3
That’s a hard one. Typically I would say NO WAY should you expect your BMs to cover their jewlery BUT you did already pay for their dresses (which would have been over $50 so they’re still getting off for less). Have you told them all along that you were paying for the dresses? Have you mentioned the jewlery to them?
Post # 4
I think that it’s significant what their expectations are about what they will be paying for… It’s definitely not nice to spring some extra expenses on them last minute that they werent anticipating when they agreed to be your BMs.
But…also, you do know their financial situations better than we do. Perhaps some people would not agree with this, but *I* think that if you know they are relativelly well-off, I would not worry too much about it. BUT, if you think that some or all of them are not in the best financial situation, then I would be much less likely to ask them to pay for more.
Post # 5
Every time I have been a bridesmaid I have had to provide my own shoes and jewelry. I personally don’t see any issue with it since it is part of the ensemble which BMs usually pay for. Now hair and make-up etc that is a different story.
I have told my bridesmaids the overal look/colors that I would like and they are choosing based on those details to their personal taste.
Post # 6
Yes they have known all along that I was making the dresses, I told them they were responsable for shoes, hose, jewlry. But I am wanting to add a crioline and a really adorable over the shoulder jacket to the outfit. They are all wearing completely differnt dresses, and I want one element that brings them more together.
Post # 7
I think it’s okay. They were expecting to pay for accessories. As a Bridesmaid or Best Man, I would much rather pay $50 for a crinoline and a jacket than $150+ for a dress.
Post # 8
I’m going to have to disagree with this one, sorry. I think if you wanted these things, it should have been discussed much earlier. Personally, I’ve never purchased jewelry at the request of a bride when I was a bridesmaid. I was either gifted jewelry or wore what I already had. That being said, I think its fine since you already told them about that. I’d much rather have purchased a dress that there is a chance I might wear again than purchase a crinoline and jacket which i know I would have no use for. Honestly, it sounds like your bridesmaids are already paying a lot, even without the dress. I think its asking too much of them to pay for a hotel, food and travel expenses, taking time off of work, as well as these additional accessories. I know when I was a bridesmaid last time, I set aside a certain amount of money for wedding expenses, and i’d be a little upset that extra expenses were being sprung on me last minute, since obviously I wouldn’t have saved enough money since I couldn’t have accounted for the extra accessories.
Post # 9
Is there anyway to work out a deal with where you’re going to buy these pieces from? I don’t know how many BMs you have, but maybe you could approach the store and say “I want to buy 5 of these crinolines, can we do something about the price?”. Personally, I wouldn’t mind if you asked me considering you’re making the dresses yourself. $50 is negligable to me, but I can’t speak of your BMs financial situations, so that’s a call you’ll have to make yourself.
Post # 10
These additional items are last minute-ish, so there would have been no way to have discussed this possible expense with them before. As I am making and designing the wedding, the idea to add them just came to me…
Post # 11
@xenacick: I’d just throw it out there and see what their feedback is. They might say yes, they might say no. They might be really excited about the accessories and love them! You don’t know until you ask. But I think asking is the key rather than telling in this case.
Post # 12
If they were aware that they’d be paying for accessories of your choice, I think it’s okay. I think it’s too close to the date to spring it on them, but if they had an idea they might have to spend money on accessories anyway it was probably expected.