Making Friends as an Adult?

posted 3 months ago in Weddingbee
  • poll:
  • Post # 2
    Member
    8023 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    what do you like to do?  join clubs or organizations with like minded people.

    for example, i’m a triathlete (or was before kids).  i was part of a tri club in my current city.  if i was moving to a new city, i would look for a tri club, running club, biking club, or maybe join all 3.

    Post # 3
    Member
    791 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    Join groups or volunteer through Meetup.com (or start your own, so easy). Church and joining a life group there has helped us make new friends too.

    Post # 4
    Member
    580 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    robinn :  I relocated in 2011 and it was exciting and hard at the same time. I didn’t feel the same bond with my new friends. But it was nice to make new friendships and learn how to categorize the new people in my life.

    You’ll have your days where you are home sick, I still do. But I love the new city and my new life. Most importantly, my “home town” family and close friends are still a part of my intimate life. We just had to learn to love from afar!

    As for as making new friends, meetup is a good tool as well as meeting people through work. Good luck!

    Post # 5
    Member
    749 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2018

    When you meet someone you think is cool, get their number, and then invite them to do something a few days later. It could be lunch or a yoga class or a hike or whatever it is you like to do. You have to be a bit more assertive with making friends when you aren’t in school or at work, since you probably won’t be seeing the same people over and over everyday automatically. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    94 posts
    Worker bee

    I met one of my best friends through Bumble (for friends only option) and getting involved in intramural sports! I moved across the country and had to make friends all over again and it is such a strange experience I agree! 

    Post # 7
    Member
    840 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2017

    I’ve heard lots of good things about meetup.com! I met my now best friend totally randomly – she was borrowing her friend’s dog, and was eating on the patio of a restaurant alone, as was I. I complimented her dog and instead of just thanking me, struck up a conversation. So, do you have a dog? Like dogs? They honestly are really good icebreakers! Knowing what I know now, if I were single and looking, my first step would be to get a dog to take to the dog park lol.

    Post # 8
    Member
    715 posts
    Busy bee

    Work and hobbies is usually a good way! I think the tricky thing with adult friendships is that unlike high school and university you have different lives and schedules – there isn’t any place or activity that kind of forces you to see each other regularly, you have to do all of that yourself. Hobbies, especially sports are great because it’s something you need to do regularly. 

    I actually have a wholly new group of friends as an adult even though i didn’t move. One tip is that especially in the beginning, you often just have to say ‘yes’ to doing everything. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    259 posts
    Helper bee

    I’m 30, and I just moved to this area a couple years ago. It is hard because everyone around this age has kids and jobs and such. I’ve grown used to being a hermit.

    Post # 10
    Member
    5698 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I would remind yourself of a few things:

    1) It may not happen right away, but just keep working to make progress.

    2) In order to make new friendships, you have to dedicate resources (time & money) to the task

    3) There may be moments where it feels risky or outside your comfort zone or lonely.  That’s ok, remind yourself that resilience comes from experience.

    The other ladies here have pretty much nailed the action steps.  When you get to your new city, join some groups based on your interstes and then be bold about making the first move and asking people out.  Be brave!  Once you have a connection with someone, do things together.  Friendships develop via exposure.

    I’m two years into a new city and the friend group is coming along.  It’s not 100% where I want it to be, but I’ve got a lot of new people in my circle and it gets more and more “dialed in” over time.  Some of the places I’ve met people are through intermural sports, through work, and through friends of friends.  I feel like I definetly should devote more time to this, but it’s hard, especially because I’m ultimately quite introverted.

    If you are looking for a fun book to give you some inspiration, the book “MWF Seeking BFF” is a cute real life story of someone going through the same thing.  

    Post # 11
    Member
    531 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2017

    Oh, OP, we are so alike! 

    I just got married last month, and I’m exactly one month from tomorrow I’m moving half way across the country with my husband for him to go to law school and me to get my masters. I don’t have any friends or family in this new state or anywhere near us. I’m leaving EVERYTHING behind. I’m terrified. I’m excited. I’m happy, sad, scared, nervous…you name it! I’m happy to be starting a new chapter with my husband, but so scared to leave my ENTIRE family behind. 

    I’m following this board. 👍🏻

    And hey, if you ever want to message me, we can go through all this together! 🤷🏼‍♀️🙃

    Congradulations on your wedding! 

    Post # 12
    Member
    1336 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    I’ve moved around a lot in my short 26 years. My husband and I moved 6 weeks ago across the country and move again to a new city in another 6 weeks. All very far from family and friends. I also moved to New Zealand from South Africa 10 years ago. While living in South Africa, we lived in 4 cities. 

    I find volunteering to be the quickest way to make friends. We are currently volunteering at the local theatre helping them with an upcoming play. I also do 8 hours a week volunteering at a mother and baby group a church runs. 

    To go events of interest etc and just join in on things. Think of your hobbies and try to find local places and events to meet similar people. Like gym or schools or libraries? For example the local library here runs a host of extra weekly book meets and even crafting sessions etc. Have a look 🙂 

    In the last city we lived in for 9 years, all of our friends were through work. 

    🙂 

     

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