(Closed) Making getting married a bigger life step

posted 5 years ago in Traditions
  • poll: I think making getting married a bigger life step..
    Makes the transition to married life easier : (3 votes)
    6 %
    Makes the transition to married life more difficult : (5 votes)
    10 %
    Helps the couple bond more : (9 votes)
    18 %
    Can create conflict at the start of married life : (6 votes)
    12 %
    Is a great and healthy idea! : (9 votes)
    18 %
    Doesn't make a difference at all : (13 votes)
    27 %
    Koopa Trooper! : (4 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 3
    259 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @MrsYoshida:  I think having a memorable wedding day and experiencing a “marked” change in your relationship are two different things. Your wedding day will be memorable for a variety of reasons.

    Married life will be different on some levels, but the same on many levels (especially because you two have lived together first). I don’t think it is a bad thing it will be so similar. At least you know you two are truly compatible and there shouldn’t be any “huge” surprises.

    Moving back to Japan could be a fun adventure if you two are up for it. However, living together as a couple with your FI’s parents may not be a great idea. Have you done this before? Do you know them well? I just rarely hear this going well.

    Honestly, I think you might be overthinking the process/experience a little much, but that’s just me. Once you are married, you will experience a certain level of newlywed bliss, but not necessarily a dramatic life change and I think that is perfectly normal.

    Post # 5
    259 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @MrsYoshida:  10 days is one thing, but just remember, living somewhere is different from visiting. I would highly suggest talking about expectations and setting ground rules to begin with. Often times things like privacy, cleanliness, waking hours and other “small” issues become larger issues. Sometimes parents forget their children are grown adults.

    Post # 6
    8576 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I’m not sure it would make a huge differance.

    I mean, marriage is already a HUGE milestone of your life, it’s a big deal! It’s the 2nd best thing in your life [besides having kids], in my opinion, so I don’t think it needs anything added.

    However, I don’t find it unusual. Fi & I are renting an apartment at the moment, once the wedding is paid off, we’ll start socking most of our money in the bank for a down payment on our first home, which we plan to move into either shortly before or after the wedding.

    We’ve lived together for 4 years now, so it’s not a huge thing, we’ve been looking into getting a house for awhile.

    Post # 7
    348 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I personally think that you are over-thinking it.  Whether you move in together for the first time or you’ve already been living together for twenty years, have a big grand wedding or an informal elopement, go on an amazing honeymoon or go back to work the next day… it’s all the same result: you’re married all the same, and that’s what is special.  I think the day you get married is significant and climactic enough — I wouldn’t seek to go out of my way to try to make more new, exciting things happen trying to feel the “new-ness” of marriage. I also believe there is beauty in ordinary, familiar, everyday life together.

    Post # 8
    236 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2016

    I love the idea of life changing after marriage. I wish I could move into our first home immediately after the wedding… but unfortunately financially things like that aren’t always possible. I completely commend you for what you are doing, and think it is going to be a great way to start the new portion of your life!

    Post # 9
    1177 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I think post-wedding letdown happens regardless of whether you consciously try to make getting married a bigger life step or not. So just be prepared for it to happen.

    The topic ‘Making getting married a bigger life step’ is closed to new replies.

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