Post # 1
I need some help deciding on something, bees!
My wedding is a few weeks away and I still haven’t figured out what to do about my name! Fiance is keeping his name, and I’m not hyphenating but still want to incorporate my maiden name somehow.
Option #1: Changing my middle name to my maiden name, so it would be FirstName MaidenName HisLast Name. My hesitation about this option is that a lot of people before meeting me already think I’m a guy because of my first name (Kasey). My current middle name is a girl name, which clears up some confusion, but in this option, I would be dropping it, and my current last name is a guy’s first name! So in this option, I think it would make matters worse with people confusing me for a guy.
Option #2: Making my maiden name my second middle name, so it would be FirstName MiddleName MaidenName HisLastName. I’m just afraid that if I do this, I’d just stop using my maiden name before long because my name would be very lengthy.
How would you bees handle this? What are you going to do about your name?
Post # 3
I feel like I can’t tell you what you should do, everyone has their own situation. But I will tell you that I plan on doing your option #2. FirstName MiddleName MaidenName HisLast Name, but I will go by FirstName HisLastName. I’m keeping my maiden name as one of my middle names legally more just for me – I have been my name for 33 (will be just about 34 years) by time we get married. I would feel like I am losing a part of myself if I completely dropped my maiden name.
The only advice I can give is look into your heart and do what feels right for you. It’s a tricky decision and I feel for you. Good luck!
Post # 4
I am doing your option number two also
Post # 5
Hi! I personally am going to go with my first name, my lfamily ast name, and Fiance last name. I’m choosing that option because my last name is the end of the line in my family. My father had all sisters, and had 3 girls, and one boy (who, at the age of approximately 50 is still single). An older sister kept her family name when she married, but they have no children. So when i marry our last name will be gone! I want to keep it for those reasons. But I’ve seen plenty of people use their first and middle names with the new last name. Have you thought about what the initials will be with each way? I know of a girl who got married and ended up with the unfortunate initials of an A followed by two S’s…..nothing monogrammed for her lol!! Is there a preference there? Go with whichever way you feel happiest with!!
Post # 6
I’ve really struggled with what to do about this, too… My FI’s last name and mine are really close, so it ends up practically rhyming. (Think Julia Gulia in the Wedding Singer.) But I’ve decided that I’m doing: First name + Maiden + Married name. … For you, it’s a bummer because people confuse your gender, but it makes my hand hurt just thinking about having to write out First Name + Middle + Maiden + Married every time you have to sign important documents. Plus, it sounds like your last name is important to you, so I would just own the three names and be done with it.
Actually being confused for a boy isn’t ALWAYS bad. I’m not sure what your profession is, but my mom’s name is Tonya Jill, but she always went by T.J. at work, because through email, people would treat her differently if they knew she was a girl. People were more responsive and respectful when they thought she was a man. I know, it’s stupid, but that’s life.
Post # 7
My middle name is my mother’s maiden name. It is my connection to the side of my family that I am very close with. My current last name I love because it defines my culture… but I do not get along with the family so it is an internal war with me. I think that I will have 2 middle names.
Post # 8
I’m doing your #2 option… tacking on my maiden name to my middle name. I almost never use my complete middle name (only occasionally use the initial, which won’t change), so I figured why not. Plus, my middle name is my given Chinese name, so I want to keep it.
I think this is a very personal choice– there is no right or wrong way. 🙂
Post # 9
I love my Dad but I can’t stand my last name so I’m looking forward to ditching it. However, most of my friends have done option #1.
Post # 10
I’m going with a second middle name. The Fiance has two middle names, I want two middle names too! 🙂
Post # 11
I’m going with option 2 as well! Glad to see so many other girls are – people look at me like I have horns when I tell them that!
Post # 12
I’m also going with option #2!! I didn’t want to completely drop my maiden name… I’m psyched I’m keeping it :]
Post # 13
I’m doing option #2 for me, for the same reason–my first name (Jordan) is ALWAYS mistaken and my maiden is a boy’s name too. Plus I really just love my maiden name, I’m not willing to give it up entirely!
Post # 14
I’ll probably do Option #2 legally but just shorten it to Firstname Middlename HisLastName because I use my first and middle name for business but I don’t really like my last name so I don’t care if I include it.
Post # 15
Regardless whether you’re doing option one or two, how you will handle your email signature at work, credit cards, etc? Also, how will you introduce yourself to people?
Ms. Name + Married Name?
Ms. Name + Maiden + Married Name?
Ms. Name + Middle + Maiden + Married?
I worry that even though I’m only doing Name + Maiden + Married, it will still be confusing when I have to call a store or company and look up my information. Will they have it under first and middle, first and last, first middle and last?