(Closed) Making Sister/MoH Only a Bridesmaid?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
7276 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@DBee2013:  Going to be honest- I think you’re overreacting. I don’t think you should be angry that she got engaged soon after you or is having the wedding soon after you. People get married because they are in love and want to start a life together. I don’t see why she should have to wait to do that until well after you are married so that you can enjoy being the bride. You aren’t getting married for over a year so you want her to wait two years (since 4 months isn’t enough)? Or you don’t want her to even start planning a wedding until after you are married? 

I also think that people have way too many expectations for their MOHs. What exactly do you expect her to do? You just booked your date yesterday so I’m not sure what there really is for her to do right now. Have you asked her to do anything? Or are you just waiting for her to ask you for something to do? 

Post # 4
Member
450 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Wow. I hate to be the one to say this….. but when you get down off your white bridal horse, I think you willl see that you are the one who hurt your sister. Her fiance is the one who decided when he was going to ask her to marry him, and frankly that has nothing to do with YOU. If you could snap off your nasty attitude I am sure you would see that you and your sister can have an amazing time together. You are getting married first… and she has picked four months later. There is no reason she should have to wait for you to get married to start planning hers. That is incredibly selfish of you.

Post # 7
Member
709 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@DBee2013:  I’ve never heard of the Maid/Matron of Honor throwing the engagement party as part if their duties and the rest… Is just a list if b*tch work.

Post # 9
Member
477 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

My MoH and I are getting married a month apart from each other (I’m her MoH too).  We love each other and are making it work.  No drama, arguing, or upstaging, and she isn’t even my sister!

Grow up.  Getting married with 4 months of you is fine, and it’s none of your business when she gets engaged.  (You really think that she should wait until you’re married to start planning her own wedding???) 

Oh, and my brother and I got engaged very clise together and are getting married 6 months apart.  But we’re too busy being happy for each other too be catty about it.

Post # 11
Member
7276 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@DBee2013:  I’m going to start out by saying that no one in my family knew Fiance and I were going to get engaged (outside of my parents since he asked permission). Heck I didn’t even know it. I guess I didn’t know any of my friends were going to get engaged either- it was usually a bit of a surprise.

I just looked up lists of “MOH duties” and none of them mentioned the engagment party (although I only looked at three so I guess some people might think this is a duty). I think the Maid/Matron of Honor can certainly help search for venues but I don’t think she should start looking for them. I think you are being rather presumptuous about the “duties” a Maid/Matron of Honor should be performing. I presonally enjoyed planning my wedding with my Fiance and ocassionally asking my Maid/Matron of Honor for an opinion. It is after all my wedding. She is planning my shower and bachelorette party and went along to pick out Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses and that’s all I expect out of her. Other people have other expectations, but I am of the opinion that nothing should be expected from your Maid/Matron of Honor.

If proper etiquette is really waiting 6-12 months between family weddings than my family has rather poor manners. 

Post # 12
Member
477 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@MrsBeck:  Same here.  FI and I were planning on getting engaged, but we didn’t tell anyone, not even our parents.  When he finally proposed there is no way I would have turned him down so that someone else wouldn’t be jealous.

Post # 13
Member
1070 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@DBee2013: at the beginning the MoH is suppose to plan the engagement party for the couple, start researching venues for the bride, help the bride decide on color/theme, start sending the bride ideas for attire

 

I have NEVER hear of an Maid/Matron of Honor doing these things.  You really expect her to research venues for you???? She is NOT your wedding planner.  The Maid/Matron of Honor should plan a bachelorette and/or shower, get a dress, and show up to wedding related events.  Where are you getting the idea that she should help you plan your entire wedding????

Post # 15
Member
477 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@DBee2013:  I think you misunderstood her.  I totally took it to mean that she wouldn’t be a bride when you were doing your wedding stuff so that you could have the spotlight.  I don’t know why you would assume she would put off getting married and forming her family that long just because you want to be a princess.

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