(Closed) Making the Guest list: What were your decision making factors?

posted 7 years ago in Logistics
Post # 4
6512 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

We are still in the preliminary stages too, but I think of things like when is the last time I talked to this person?  If its been forever, do I want to call them up and chat now?  Do they invite me to things?  Prior invites wouldn’t be a per se, but lack thereof might knock someone off if I’m on the fence lol

Post # 5
271 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

You just have to think of people u absolutely can’t go without having there. Dont feel bad about not inviting people because if u just kept inviting everyone you would be at like 500. Plus they should understand ur on a budget

Post # 8
271 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Ya I’ve had plenty of people ask am I invited? It’s annoying but I just tell them I’m on a tight budget and can only have close friends and family there. Sorry.

Post # 10
2580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t think you need to invite someone just because they invited you. When we made our list and sent out Save-The-Date Cards 6 months ago, I was so afraid of offending people we ended up inviting way more people than we should have! I would say from experience, don’t be afraid to cut people if you’re really not close or don’t see them/keep in touch with them.

A friend told me to consider if on any other day, would I take this person out for a fancy dinner on me? Now we realize we’re spending $100 for FI’s fraternity brother’s roommate’s girlfriend to come to our wedding…it’s sort of silly, really! I don’t regret it, but it’s easier to start smaller than realize after Save-The-Date Cards go out that you invited too many people.

Post # 12
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I had several friends (married couples) whose weddings I went to since college, over the past several years, but have grown apart from, and know I will pretty much never see them once I get married. I know this is kind of terrible in a funny sort of way, but the way that I finally narrowed down the absolute last people if it could have been a complete toss-up if I wanted them there– if they already have a baby, they were less likely to get invited. More likely if they don’t. Why? Well, I figure that people with new babies are more likely to want to leave the reception early and run home to make sure their baby is ok (and also so I didn’t have to make the decision of who gets to bring a baby and who doesn’t!) and I want my reception to be a par-tay!!!

Post # 13
258 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I am in the same situation I really dnt hve close friends but old friends many n me and my Fiance decided since our maximum number is 80 to invite only the friends and family that actually talk to us on a regular basis.sure I hve loads of friends who thnk because they talk to me on fb they’ll get an invite but I decided if u dnt talk to me outside of fb and on a regular basis there cut from my list ..might sound harsh but I only want friends n family that me and Fiance actually hang out with.its hard but with this economy can’t invite everyone.

Post # 16
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

1) Immediate Family
2) Extended family that I actually talk to and have contact info for
3) Long time friends
4) Current friends who I see staying my friends for a long time (who I actually make plans with on a regular basis)
5) Our parents’ (or our family friends) who actually had a direct effect on our lives

We ARE NOT inviting anyone with whom we don’t have a direct relationship (unless they are a long-time sig other of a guest.) We’re shooting for about 150, which is a lot of people to see. We don’t want to be meeting a bunch or people or “wasting” time with people we don’t care about.

We ended up going over our target of 165 on the guest list because we decided that it was more important to have those who are important to us in attendance than it was to save a few hundred dollars.

Children are not invited unless they are nursing or are from the other side of the country and are old enough to entertain themselves.

Unfortunately, the list is so pared down that it is disappointing every time we get a “no.”


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