(Closed) male bridesmaid

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

From seeing some of your other posts, I know how conservative your situation is, and how fun-loving/outrageous you seem to be… If your Fiance is comfortable with him being in the wedding party in general, then why not have him stand with the groomsmen even if he is a “bridesmaster” in your mind?

Post # 4
Member
2214 posts
Buzzing bee

My best friend is a man and will be my Man of Honor.  I’m having him and my brother stand on my side because they’re “my” people. haha.  I like the mix of guys and girls on each side.  My Maid/Matron of Honor is going to wear a boutenierre though, not hold a bouquet.  I’ve never heard of a guy holding a bouquet before, but if he wants to and you want to pay for it, then that seems fine.

Post # 5
Member
605 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man in a wedding with a  male Bridesmaid or Best Man. It was great fun. We really enjoyed having him in on the planning, shower, etc. He wore a tux and a bout though (no bouquet for him). I think leaving off the bouquet might be the one step your conservative Future In-Laws need to make it seem not so weird. I’ve been to other weddings with a “Best Woman” or a “Man of Honor.” It’s becoming more common and accepted to choose your most special people for these roles, regardless of gender. Unless you make a big deal about it, people will barely notice if he’s standing with the BMs not the GMs.

Good luck!

Post # 6
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

My only concern was the very conservative nature of your situation and becoming a vicar’s (minister’s) wife. I’m all for exciting/fun things. But from your posts it looks like his family/congregation might think that this is you mocking a wedding ceremony… this is a battle that I wouldn’t want to fight in your situation.

Post # 9
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

No no no! I’M not saying you’re mocking at all!!! I’m so sorry you took it that way. It was only seeing your other posts about what types of things his congregation and his family would “see”. Again, I’m sorry if you thought I meant that… I was just trying to say, if people have been giving you hard time in gerneral, I would feel bad if it caused more issues with them (because of their thoughts, not your intentions which are sweet)

Post # 11
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m not one to ever think twice about a break from tradition.  So I like the idea.  I think incorporating the people you care most about should be the priority, not following the rules.  So do what feels right for you and your Fiance. 

Post # 12
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Ok good! I just didn’t want you to get anymore hassle from those folks!!! 🙂

Post # 13
Member
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

If you want him standing up there and supporting you, then have him up there supporting you.  I really don’t think it is a concern to your FIL’s because at the end of the day, these are your best friends and you want them all there with you – whether they are male or female!  If your Fiance is cool with it – which it seems like he is! – then I wouldn’t worry about it!  I will agree with the others though in saying that to have him holding a bouquet might seem a bit off to the in-laws…and that if he doesn’t have one, they may be much more open to it.  Really though, if that is what you want, then do it!  

Post # 15
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee

I’m planning on having one of my gay bffes a “bridesmaster” (although I never heard it called that) and right now I’m running back and forth between having him stand on my side or FI’s side. Due to some of my more conservative family members, I might just keep him on FIs side.

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