Post # 1
So my Fiance and I have chosen to include my best friend (who is male) as one of my bridesmaids (bridesman as we are calling him) This has brought up a dilemma though as to his bouquet. I want his hands to be full like my other bridesmaids but we feel flowers may seem to send a gay vibe. The book and rings are out of question for other reasons (perhaps another post). Any suggestions on what he could carry? My other brides maids will carry pink roses bound with a deep purple ribbon. We are having a traditional Catholic service.
Post # 3
I think you may have to get used to the idea of him not holding anything. There just doesn’t seem to be anything practical for him to carry down the aisle.
Post # 4
Hmm…would it be too feminine to have him carry a candle? That’s all I can think of. Otherwise, I think it would look fine if he didn’t carry anything.
Post # 5
Have him carry a shotgun. 😉
Just kidding! Um, I don’t know what he could carry that would be appropriate/wedding-y and not look a little effeminate. I would probably just have him carry nothing. The groomsmen don’t really carry anything, right? So why would the brideman?
Post # 6
My Fiance was a Bridesman for his sister. He looked just fine walking down the aisle holding nothing 🙂
Post # 7
You could have him carry a Bible or a book of poetry and have him read a passage or give book to Priest who will read a passage from the book. If that doesn’t wow you, during the ceremony, you could have him bring a small vase of flowers to place before the Virgin Mary (talk to your Priest about this – they could set up the statue near the podium or a visual place as it is a nice gesture).
Otherwise, it is perfectly acceptable that he walk down the aisle and just have a flower on his lapel.
Post # 8
great ideas, we only have 3 on each side. One thing I want to be sure is that people know he is not a groomsman. He wont be wearing a suit rather a dress shirt and vest that will be matching to the dresses. there is a co celebrant and so my Fiance dad is carrying the book as he is such. though I like the idea of the flowers to Mary. though we are in a modern church with no Mary to place tham at, Im thinking perhaps all 3 bridesmaids (man) could carry a bouquet that can be placed at the alter. We were not going to have wedding flowers however this could create a situation that is the best of both worlds.
My Fiance made the suggestion that he could hold my MOHs bouqet when I hand her mine. thus making it less “gay” thoughts? I didnt even realize that it could be an issue to my Boyfriend or Best Friend brought it up and my Fiance agreed with him.
Post # 9
@LaTortuga: I really don’t think it’s necessary to have him hold/carry anything. The majority of your guests would probably think it’s a little “different” to have a man hold flowers. If he HAS to hold something, do you think a lantern with a candle inside would work? He could bring it up to a table and set it there for the ceremony.
Post # 10
a walking stick, use your flowers and ribbon to decorate it.
Post # 11
I would say nothing. I’ve seen Bridesmen, and they didn’t carry anything, I think it would be a little weird if they did…
Post # 12
Nothing. I would think it’s strange if a bridesman was holding flowers, candles, etc.
Post # 13
First, I’ve seen this done and he was called an Honor Attendant. (FI made my best friend one of his groomsmen, but they’ve become close, too!) I don’t think he needs to carry anything! The time I’ve seen this, he wore a tux matching the groomsmen and just stood with the maids. It’s totally do-able, but I wouldn’t make it more uncomfortable than it may already be by having him carry something.
ETA: For the record, my gay friends don’t typically carry flowers. Don’t think that’s the right term to describe it ;o)
Post # 14
thanks everyone. Yes I agree that flowers don’t mean Gay, these were the terms that the groom and bridesman were using… they did however take the walking stick idea and run with it. Looks like the Bridesman, Groom, and my father are all going to carry a “PIMP” cane… suppose we will be doing a musical down the aisle. lol Perhaps the best part is that my Fiance has contributed to the wedding atire which makes me happy too. Thanks for all the help 🙂
Post # 15
I don’t think he needs to hold anything.
My husband had his sister and best female friend on his side and they dressed like the bridesmaids and just stood with him. They did carry flowers. Could your friend just wear a bout. like the GM?
ETA: Oops, just read that you found a solution with the cane.