male ob/gyn

posted 2 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 61
Member
9097 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’ve had both male and female OBGYNs, and truthfully, the worst OB I ever had happened to be female.

I didn’t stick with my first male OB because we didn’t really mesh in the medical sense, so I found another one and we had a pretty typical medical relationship. I then moved and got married. When I needed to get my well woman exams, I went to planned parenthood and it was 50/50 if I’d get a man or a woman, so it was just kind of a toss up.

Then I got pregnant and wanted to settle down with an OB. I was given a list of OBs by my insurance and after a grueling search for one that was still in business or one that was still accepting new clients (Thanks Tricare! I LOVE outdated info!) I found one that was accepting new clients. I only had a last name, so I didn’t know what I was walking into.

It was a woman, and we had a great doctor/patient relationship.

My husband doesn’t care, and truthfully, his “comfort” in a situation like this is on the backburner. My relationship with my doctor is important to me, and more important than that, my health is more important. So if my husband’s “comfort” is going to get between me and a potentially missed medical problem, that’s no bueno.

Post # 62
Member
504 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I have only had one OB/GYN, and he’s amazing. He came highly recommended by DH’s coworkers, and living in a rural Southern town, he’s probably delivered half the town’s babies. Haha.

Anyway, I first started seeing him when I needed to get an IUD as birth control, and he was extremely knowledgeable, inserts them all the time, and made the experience much easier. He’s totally on board with our plans to not have children. He always keeps things professional, has a female nurse with him at all times, and just generally treats me with kindness and respect. He even does a lot of pro bono work for women who can’t afford prenatal care and does a monthlong mission trip to Africa every year to take care of sick kids. 

When I started having longer periods with my Skyla, he listened to my concerns and even consulted my phone app where I track my cycles. He advocated with my insurance to replace my Skyla before the expiration date with the Kyleena, and the process was a breeze. He knows I teach college biology, so we can have delightfully nerdy conversations about birth control and whatnot. Darling Husband hasn’t met him but wholeheartedly approves since I’m happy. 

I wish I could use my OB/GYN as my primary care doctor and will be sad to look for a new one when we eventually move!

Post # 63
Member
625 posts
Busy bee

My personal experience with a male OBGYN was a horrible one. It predates my Fiance so can’t answer how he’d feel about it. Finally found an OBGYN I absolutely love, and she happens to be a woman. Just my 2 cents FWIW. 

Post # 64
Member
14965 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I wanted female OB at first cause I was kinda shy about my business, but after years of fertility treatments and people up my wooha, I couldn’t care less anymore.  It’s just a job to them and I don’t care what gender they are as long as they do their job well.  I’ve had a transfer with my current RE who is male, with my husband in the room and we’re all just chatting and what not waiting like no big deal. I did ask my husband (jokingly) after “so how’d it feel to see another man up in my busniess like that”.  No, he doesnt care, it’s not like it’s sexual or anything.

Post # 65
Member
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

My OB is female but one of my 2 perinatologists is a male and I have no issues at all. My Darling Husband is super conservative and he doesn’t even care! It’s just their job.

Post # 66
Member
2527 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

raliel :  Yeah those would not be friends of mine. Talk about disgusting!

Post # 67
Member
839 posts
Busy bee

beevincent18 :  trust me, these people are not friends.  I happen to hate them. Just guys who ran in DH’s circle in medical school. Haven’t seen them since graduation and I hope it stays that way. I don’t have time for people who treat women like objects, and certainly not medical professionals who act as such. 

An up close and personal experience of the med school process has given my lots of strong views on the medical field in general. It surprises me zero that the US has the highest maternal death rate in the developed world. 

Post # 68
Member
6495 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

I’ve had fantastic doctors and pretty awful ones. It had nothing to do with whether they were a man or a woman. 

Post # 69
Member
275 posts
Helper bee

milwaukee33 :  I’ve had a male doc ever since I started going. I had one female nurse practitioner once, and it was awful. She was way rougher and much less polite than the guys ever were. I’ve never felt uncomfortable with the male docs. They’re there to do a job, no more, no less. I’ve never had a male doc pressure me about having kids, but I’ve had plenty of female nurses (and that one female doc I had) get snitty with me about not wanting any. My husband could not care less. His concern is that I have a good doctor, not what dangles down below. 

Post # 70
Member
10650 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

I’ve seen one once.  They are a specialists, I was referred to him.  I didn’t even think to ask about the doctor when being referred.  He didn’t even do much anyway, just referred me on to someone else.

Post # 71
Member
9580 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

mine is female. I’d be comfortable with male.  For me it’s all about their abilities–good bedside manner, take me seriously, knowledgable, etc?  Great.  Anything less? I’ll move on.

I do know women who’ve had male general doctors (aka primary care aka family doctor.. whatever) who were clearly uncomfortable performing basic womens health (e.g. annual breast check, pap smear).  I’d even switch my general doctor if I experienced that!  But it’s not about the fact they’re male, it’s about the fact I don’t want a doctor who isn’t doing their job with absolute confidence.

Also, fwiw.. you don’t know the sexual orientation of your doctor: male or female.  So.. going one way or the other really seems silly IMO.

Post # 72
Member
63 posts
Worker bee

I’ve had two men but now have a women. Both male doctors were very experienced in their fields and absolutely wonderful. It wasn’t weird uncomfortable at all for me. My current doctor (woman) is also great. I think I’ve had very good luck with doctors in that specialty. 

Post # 73
Member
3114 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

raliel :  holy shit, how despicable. 

Post # 74
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee

I have a man and I will never go back to a woman. All the women I had (I’ve had 3) were too rough and not as detailed. While I am not quite sure if it’s a man vs woman thing, the man has been the exact opposite so I am inclined to stick with men.

Post # 75
Member
677 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Mine is a male, and I’m completely comfortable with him. I was pretty young when I started going to him for exams and my first IUD, and he came highly recommended from the nurse who previously administered my depo shots. Unlike the gynecologist I had gone to before him (a severe and very curt woman who managed to make a routine pap hurt)  he’s very quick, gentle and professional, which is everything I care about in a care provider. Fi isn’t uncomfortable with it at all, but I don’t see why he would be. It’s understood that he’s only there on business. 

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