(Closed) Male’s role in abortions (Play nice now!)

posted 10 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 196
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

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@Atalanta:So what if the man didn’t want to abort, what if he wanted the child?  Isn’t it only fair that the woman carries the child for him?  I don’t see why not when I use your logic, Vegas.  Becasue you are taking the choice away from the man to have the child when you let woman abort. – Please be FAIR and at least READ what I wrote.  I said repeatedly that a woman should do what she wants with her body.  If that means a baby that’s wanted by the father gets aborted than so be it.  But that being said, if a woman decides to keep a baby that the father did not want, she should have to take sole responsibility for it and the father should have the option to relinquish rights.

Um why don’t you go back to page 3 where I had this same conversation where you agreed that men have the same right in this!  If the man wants custody, the woman can’t put the child up for adobtion! And she has to pay child support *gasp*.  So You’re now arguing for the sake of aruing saying things you already agreed were BS. – I’m sorry, I’m honestly not trying to be funny but I really don’t understand this statement.  What I said before (too lazy to go back and look) is that you are right that men can’t give birth.  You ARE right about that.  I don’t remember agreeing that ANYTHING I said was BS.  I may have seen or agreed with something you said, but my opinion has remained the same.  And yes, women have to pay child support.  I agreed with that too.  Not seeing this “BS” you speak of.

Why are you so aggressive against someone you’ve never met?

Post # 197
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

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@ohheavenlyday: Who’s to say I haven’t?  Don’t presume to know me and don’t sit on a perch and JUDGE me just because I have an unpopular view.  I never said dump babies on the street (that was other PPs that brought up safe havens yet ANOTHER option for the reluctant mother), I never said women SHOULD get abortions if they can’t deal with the kid (that was other PPs talking about “my body, my choice”) and I never said that men that agreed to deal with the consequences should just abandon their kids.  What I DID say was that it wasn’t FAIR that women have several options and men just have to go with whatever they decide.  I never offered up solutions and never suggested that innocent children should be neglected (although I don’t see how the argument of abortions or safe havens are any better but ok).  I was just talking and WAS enjoying a friendly debate.  It’s NOT fair and it’s OK to acknowledge that without jumping the gun and leaving babies in dumpsters.  SHEESH!!!

Post # 198
Member
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I have dealt with several cases like this at my current job, where the father wanted an abortion and the mother did not.  In some cases the women took money from the men for abortion, didn’t go through with it, and never told the man otherwise.  So imagine their surprise 6 years later when they’re served with child support paperwork….I’m torn on the issue because I personally don’t think it’s fair to bring a child into the world if it isn’t wanted by both parents but if a woman does choose to have that baby, it’s just NOT fair to the child to absolve the man of all responsibility simply because he wanted to abort.  I remember talking on the phone to a client who was bitching about the kid he thought was aborted, saying “I don’t want ANYTHING to do with him he means nothing to me” and then flipping open the file to see a picture of the little boy in his genetic test photo, smiling and hugging his Mom.  That little kid doesn’t deserve to be cast aside and go without just because his Mom made the choice to give birth to him.  Of course I don’t condone the Mom’s actions but just because she made some poor choices does NOT mean the child has to suffer. 

Post # 199
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

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@chasesgirl:And this still assumes she wants to keep the child. She has ways to get out of having and caring for the child if she wants. Men don’t. If she decideds she doesnt want the child she can abort, and she is just using her rights, because it is her body and her right. But a man is a dead beat and a slacker if he doesnt want the child and doesnt want to pay for the child.  I totally agree with you but I think we should just give up.  We are outnumbered by people and no one is giving an inch and it really is pointless.

Post # 200
Member
2312 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

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@VegasSukie: 

I really have no idea what you’re talking about as I never said anything about putting babies in Dumpsters, nor have I even responded to you once in this thread. 

Post # 201
Member
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

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@VegasSukie:

I said repeatedly that a woman should do what she wants with her body.

I know, but it is illogical for your argument.  If you want men to be able to “abort” you have to give them some way to “carry,” it’s only fair, no? It’s illogical to have one with out the other.  Or it’s ok to be fair to men only 50% of the time?

Well if you agree with me that a statement you previously said was not true than that makes the statement you said before BS.  *sigh* I think this convo is way over your head.  By The Way you posted your “last” post to this post like 10 posts ago so that was BS.

Post # 202
Member
7429 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I think this post got way out of hand. We have established that, fair or not, the father ultimately has no say in whether an abortion happens or not. And the aftermath must be felt by both parents, regardless of the outcome and effects due to said outcome, fair or not.

I will say, that I don’t think its fair for a father who clearly wanted nothing to do with a child to have to pay child support, but it is fair to the child, who did not ask to be born into this mess. I think that if the parents were to put the child’s best interest at the forefront of everything, then the world would be a much better place. But life and the way things work isn’t always fair, as some pp’s have given examples of. Its unfortunate, but such is life

Post # 203
Member
2394 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

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@VegasSukie:  Um, the dumpsters thing was my argument.  And it wasn’t even directed at you, so I’m not entirely sure why you’re screaming at ohheavenlyday about it.

And I, at least, am perfectly comfortable judging you, so you can have a fit about it if you want.  That you have an opinion does not mean no one ever gets to say bad things about it ever and that we’re all big meanies for having our own opinions.

Your point of view is just that:  a point of view.  It isn’t gospel.   Several people disagree with it and I, personally, feel it’s morally repellent.  You can argue why it’s not but behaving as though you’re being persecuted because those who think you’re wrong didn’t just nod along and bite their tongues is a bit much.

Post # 204
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

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@sarahRN: @teaadntoast:Assuming a woman doesn’t have the option to end her pregnancy, are we all cool with her just leaving the kid in a dumpster?

Well with the way Vegas and Chase think then yes! A woman can just up and walk away without any thought of the child’s well being. Except it STILL unfair, that woman had to carry that baby for 9 months, suffered financially, physically and emotionally. So now it’s unfair to the woman..

Seriously?  THIS is your assumption after pages of responses?  WHO said that?  NOT ME.  WTF?  You can’t even have a difference of opinion on these boards without people mudslinging and just attacking.  I NEVER said to leave a kid in the dumpster. I SAID that there are many options for women WHO DO NOT WANT THE RESPONSIBILITY of taking care of a child INCLUDING dropping it off at a safe have.

Sheesh!  If you don’t agree with me that’s fine, I RESPECT each of yuor point views.  But WHY do you have to be so nasty towards mine?  I really don’t understand this.  I have said NOTHING extraordinary!  I thought we were having a discussion and could share opinions without tearing people down. 

Maybe I SHOULD go back to the Knot.  At least I know what to expect when I get there.

Post # 205
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

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@Atalanta: You are absolutely RIGHT and I have no argument!  Must feel good being so perfect. Undecided WAY TO GO!!!

Post # 206
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

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@Atalanta:I think you need to rethink your views on abortion since everything you say seems to have a pro life spin on it, poor clump of cells?  Who says that a pro lifer or choicer?

If you really want to know (that I think it will NOT make a difference since you seem hellbent on fighting me on everything I say) but there is a VERY GOOD reason why I am pro-choice and SEVERAL reasons why my opinion is what it is.  My mother was such a strong woman, she really was, and she raised me all alone.  And yes, there were times that we struggled to pay rent, buy food, clothes, etc. but she NEVER groveled or begged a man for anything!  SHE went out and did what SHE had to to take care of me because SHE accepted the responsibility of having me on her own.  And the reason I’m for abortion is because some of the closest women in my life have made the decision to abort when they realized they couldn’t provide and couldn’t FORCE the man to provide.  These same women were able to learn from those abortions and take every precaution to not let it happen again and to be better prepared when they were ready for children.  These are women that would’ve otherwise ended up on welfare or worse.  They were able to avoid that because of legal abortions.  There are other reasons too but I DO NOT feel comfortable sharing after being SLICED AND DICED HERE FOR HAVING AN OPINION! 

It’s obvious you guys think I’m some piece of shit, baby-hater so whatever.  I give up.  You Bees are all soooooo perfect.

Post # 207
Member
7429 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

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@VegasSukie: It’s obvious you guys think I’m some piece of shit, baby-hater so whatever.  I give up.  You Bees are all soooooo perfect.

 

Umm, that’s uncalled for. Not everyone in this post was disagreeing or being mean to you, I actually agreed with some of what you said. So please don’t blanket us all to be that way. Topics like these can get really heated, and people will vehemently fight for their opinion. Take it with a grain of salt, and move on to another post

Post # 208
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

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@ohheavenlyday: IF I mistakenly replied to you I apologize.  Everyone is dumping on me so I must have just lumped you in with everyone else.  Sincerest apologies.

Post # 209
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

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@Atalanta:I know, but it is illogical for your argument.  If you want men to be able to “abort” you have to give them some way to “carry,” it’s only fair, no? It’s illogical to have one with out the other.  Or it’s ok to be fair to men only 50% of the time?

Well if you agree with me that a statement you previously said was not true than that makes the statement you said before BS.  *sigh* I think this convo is way over your head.  By The Way you posted your “last” post to this post like 10 posts ago so that was BS.

OK MAYBE THIS CONVERSATION IS WAY OVER YOUR HEAD.  I WAS BEING FACETIOUS!  I DID NOT LITERALLY MEAN I WANTED MEN TO BE ABLE TO HAVE ABORTIONS! IS THIS SERIOUSLY THE “BS” YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT!  Seriously, I’m DONE talking to you!  FUCKING RIDICULOUS!

Post # 210
Member
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I wish I could start posting Lemon Party pictures all over this thread.

The topic ‘Male’s role in abortions (Play nice now!)’ is closed to new replies.

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