Post # 1
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee
The reason I am asking is because within the last 24 hours on my Facebook feed a lot of my friends have been talking about their kids finding out there is no Santa via kids at school. One of my friends was livid that her 2nd grader came home and told her that a little boy said Santa and Elf on the Shelf wasn’t real and it was your parents doing it all. She apparently got her daughter to continue to believe there is a Santa by telling her “If you don’t believe, you don’t receive” and I was a little taken aback by this because you’re basically telling your child that if you don’t believe in Santa you won’t get presents.
I never heard this growing up and to me it just seems ridiculous. My daughter is in 4th grade this year and my Fiance asked her “what the santa situation was this year” and she said her class is doing a contest to see who can catch a photo of santa this year. So we knew she still believed. But if another kid tells her he isnt’ real and comes home to ask, I’m certainly not going to lie to her just so I can have another year or 2 of pretending to be santa.
So, other Bees, have you had to deal with this yet and would you use the “don’t believe, dont receive” line?
Post # 2
Member
2368 posts
Buzzing bee
WHAT???? THERE’S NO SANTA????????? 🙁 🙁 🙁
Post # 3
Member
1839 posts
Buzzing bee
SkinnyLatte17: I don’t have kids but we JUST had this conversation at work. All the parents here said they can’t wait for their kids to find out(or the ones with older kids said it was a relief when their young ones found out).
I can’t believe she encouraged it even more, unless she has other, younger children?
Post # 4
Member
2368 posts
Buzzing bee
but in seriousness, im a big believer (ha) that santa is just so much fun for kids, they will grow to learn that santa isnt real all on their own, if someone tells them then ok, but even to this day, im 27 and my mum gives me presents from santa and a santa sack and says you must believe hahaha (she works with little kids so is very into all that stuff) but i love it and ill continue it with my kids christmas is so much fun and santa is a part of that 🙂
i can see why parents dont want to lie to their kids etc, but to me its a sweet lie, harmless fun. 😀
having seen your last line, i think if you tell your kids hes not real and they dont believe in him then giving them presents from him is a bit stupid imo. but i wouldnt say if they dont believe then they cant get presents from him, especially if i still said i believed ;).
Post # 5
Member
1377 posts
Bumble bee
SkinnyLatte17: I definitely figured out there was no Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, etc by the age of 5. No help from other kids. It just wasn’t logical to me….I was a strange child.
My sisters did have the whole ‘some kid at school said x wasn’t real’ event, and my parents asked them why they thought x wasn’t real. Basically, they didn’t lie and say ‘if you believe, you will receive’, but they also didn’t confirm. The elder sister managed to get herself to rebelieve, but the younger one (at about the same age) no longer believed. I think if you allow them to think it out themselves, it’s a lot less confusion/hurt.
FWIW, even if we obviously didn’t believe in Santa, we still got a gift from him. Mine stopped when I turned 18. My sisters were still young enough to believe in Santa then, so then the explanation was Santa only brings gifts to little children, not grown ups.
Edit: What did change when my parents figured out none of us believed any more was the handwriting on the presents/wrapping paper/cookies and milk. Before, there was a huuuuuuge amount of effort they went through for wrapping paper that didn’t match what was from them (Santa Special Paper), they wrote silly handwriting from Santa, and we set out cookies and milk. Now “Santa” writes exactly like my dad, uses the same paper as from my parents, and gets eggnog/a beer, lol.
Edit round two: When I was little, I lived with my dad, uncle and grandparents, and someone actually went throughthe effort of tracking flour footprints through the house, we set out oats for the reindeer, Santa left me notes…..still didn’t convince me. The most exciting part was the reindeer. God, I was weird, hahha!
Post # 6
Member
2597 posts
Sugar bee
Um…I’d be surprised if your 4th-grader *really* believes. Most kids figure it out long before, like 1st-2nd grade (when they’re told about it by other kids).
I also think that in general, parents are WAY too invested regarding these things. I mean, most of us, if we think back to our own childhoods, probably didn’t have to go to therapy when we learned about Santa (or the Easter bunny, or the tooth fairy), and I’m certain my parents didn’t fret over me finding out. My mother continued to give us gifts as “Santa” and we did the milk and cookies thing for a while (I have younger siblings, which was part of it). I do remember confronting my mother about it and like most things, she just shrugged and said, “Well, I dunno. He’s real to me, sweetie.” And went on with her day. In all honesty, I think that it would have weirded me out MORE if as a child my parents sat me down and had some big long talk about the existence or non-existence about Santa.
The reality is that Elf on the Shelf and Santa and stuff like that is magical for very, very young children (like pre-K and younger). They lose the magic as children get older, far more quickly than we think, but that doesn’t mean they can’t still be FUN for kids. My friend’s children LOVE Elf on the Shelf even though they know it’s all Mom and Dad because they’re entertained by his “mischief.” My parents still leave gifts for us from “Santa” and I’m still heartened by the memories.
Post # 7
Member
1839 posts
Buzzing bee
nowmarriedgirl: Haha, my mum is the same. She still asks what we want Santa to bring us for Christmas even though only my younger sister lives at home and she HATES when we talk about Christmas presents and them buying us things (instead of Santa). She sees it as part of the ‘Christmas spirit’ rather than it just being a day where we all buy each other presents.
Post # 8
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee
OneDayMrsL: My daughter is an only child but we do plan to have more kids in a year or so. She’s 9 so if she doesn’t believe it won’t be that bad. I’m gonna be honest, being santa is exhausting. lol! hiding the santa wrapping paper, not slipping up about him not being real etc… lol
Post # 9
Member
2368 posts
Buzzing bee
OneDayMrsL: exactly!! its so cute isnt it! makes it special! she buys for my husband and cats and probably the dog this year too haha! and always says “santas coming!” etc….just harmless fun, but i LOVE christmas, fav time of year so i relish in it hahaa! your mum sounds like my kinda gal!
Post # 10
Member
2368 posts
Buzzing bee
SkinnyLatte17: oh so true – and doesnt it annoy you that santa takes all the credit for the awesome gifts?? or do you leave the crappier gifts from santa and u give your child the awesome gifts haha!
Post # 11
Member
5152 posts
Bee Keeper
SkinnyLatte17: OMG THERES NO SANTA?!?!!?
All kidding aside, I teach 5th grade and I try to gauge if my students still believe. If one kid seems to believe, I totally play along and tell the kids who are saying he doesnt exist that he totally does and that I still get presents.
Honestly, if my kid asked me, I’d probably just tell the truth (unless theyre like 1st graders, then I’d trick them probably, lol).
Post # 12
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee
nowmarriedgirl: My mom still gives us a santa present and I get that he’s part of the spirit of christmas but I certainly don’t think he’s got a shop at the north pole with elves that help him make toys lol
Post # 13
Member
5072 posts
Bee Keeper
nowmarriedgirl: There is! He lives in the hearts of all of us.
Post # 14
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee
gillykat824: Yeah I don’t think there will be a big sit down talk but if she decides to tell me she doesn’t believe I don’t think I’ll try to convince her to believe.
Post # 15
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
I remember when I found out there was no santa I was a little older maybe around 8 or 9 my mom accidentally told me she bought a gift last year that I clearly remember santa giving me and it all went down hill from there. I remember being sad for a few days but then I got over it. My husband and I have decided with our little girl we will not force her to believe in Santa. . Honestly Christmas has become so much about santa and everyone forgets the true meaning of Christmas, she can watch the santa movies and read the stories but she will understand that santa is just like frosty he’s not real. I do however want her to look forward to something so we have decided that we will have ‘Jesus’ giving her the gift every Christmas and we’ll make a tradition of baking a birthday cake for him. But even if I had decided to go down the route of having my kid believe in Santa I wouldn’t worry too much about when she found out he wasn’t real considering we all ended up finding out somewhere along the way and we ended up fine <3