Post # 1
I am 10 weeks pregnant with twins, and while Darling Husband and I are super excited to start our journey into parenthood – I am totally terrified at the same time. The twin pregnancy was totally spontaneous (no fertility treatments or drugs) and does not run in either one of our families, so it really wasn’t something we considered a possibility for us. My body apparently had other plans!
I was nervous when I got my BFP thinking about one baby. Now with TWO to consider the worry has piled on more. The issue of finances comes up a lot, not to mention caring for two newborns, never sleeping again, having my kids turn into felons because I screwed up somewhere etc. Some of my fears are rational and some are totally off the wall.
We are not struggling by any means, but Darling Husband made some really poor financial choices in the past so while we have savings, it’s not as much as we could have had. I thought that after my maternity leave, I’d go back to work part-time… but when you factor in two infants in daycare, I’m not sure it would be worth it to go back to work.
Mama bees, I know that so many people have gotten through this panic-stricken stage. I just need some reassurance. How did you manage to keep your roof above your head, care for your baby (or babies), keep food on the table, etc especially if you were/are a Stay-At-Home Mom and had a one income household? Thanks so much in advance!
P.S. I want these kids more than anything in the world… I just want to make sure that everything will be okay!
Post # 3
@shimmerofheaven: OMG!!! Congratulations!!! Twins!!!! That is so exciting!! My Darling Husband and I say how we would love to have a twins (boy and girl) so we can just get away with one pregnancy. lol I have no experience with this type of situation. I’m sure you will have to just budget and weigh all your options as to what is best (child care, work, part time, etc). It sounds like you guys are in a great position. I’m sure you will figure it out as you go. Do you know anyone who has twins? They would have the best advice. But GOOD LUCK to you and DH! What a wonderful blessing!!
Post # 4
awe. Congrats! Twins run in my husband’s family so I was really mentally preparing myself for it!!
That being said, I think what you are feeling is completely normal for moms to bes! Just doubled by the fact that you are having twins. I’m a firm believer that we will all make it work one way or another. There is always room in the budget to cut somewhere. *hugs*
Post # 5
A co-worker of mine just had twin girls! They were born a little early- but each weighed just over 4 pounds each. Considering that they were over a month early, that’s not too bad!
I don’t know how they do it, but what I’ve heard so far is that they staggered feeding times so they both weren’t crying hungry at the same time. I know that because they were early & a little small that she breast fed and supplemented with formula. She pumps constantly at work, but doesn’t seem the least bit bothered by it. So, after about 2 months they were able to take turns feeding (since she pumps & bottles & adds the supplement) so she didn’t miss out on as much sleep as she expected.
The twins are in daycare (at 3 months old) and the only issue that has come up is that one of them has a respiratory infection- it might be RSV but I’m not sure. She will be ok, but my co-worker has missed a few half-days at work due to doctor’s appointments. I suppose it’s something that comes with the territory…
Maybe you could look into going to work part-time? That way your bebehs can spend some time at home and the daycare bill won’t break the bank.
Best of luck 🙂 I know my response is only moderately helpful since I don’t even have kids, but the one thing that my co-worker has mentioned is that since their first pregnancy was twins, if they ever have any other kids in the future it will seem so easy compared to having twins! Congrats to you and your bundles of joy!!
Post # 6
Congrats! I’m basically a sahm right now but I only have one (almost) two-year old. I did find a job working at a gym daycare that I can bring Dirty Delete with me that’s only 12 hours a week. It doesn’t pay much but it gets us out of the house. I would definitely recommend looking into a job like that if you think that you won’t be able to go back to work. Also, I’ve never taken part but a lot of the mothers who come to my work are a part of a play group. That could help with keeping sane with two kids! I’m sure that they have groups geared towards parents of multiples. Fiance only makes about 25k a year so if we can do it, you can do it! Even if you are double the diapers.
Post # 7
I think the best test is to start living on his income now and don’t include yours. Put it all into savings now and see where you suffer and how often you need to dip in to that money to pay for something.
I was the bread winner in the household before I decided to open my own business. We did this to see if we would “suffer” while I tried to get my business off the ground. It was a great test as well to see how long I could take off of work after the baby comes. You’d be surprised how much crap you spend money on that is easy to cut out when you dont have thte money.
Post # 8
Maybe you could find some mummy blogs from people who have had twins? I’m 10 weeks pregnant too (but only with 1 – as far as I know!) and when I feel panic about the same things as you (just half as much I guess?) I just remind myself that if all those other people can do it, so can I! I’m sure you’ll find loads of resources online and in bookstores. Also, just look at those gorgeous photos of sleeping newborn twins holding hands if you need a little pick me up 🙂 Ah, my heart melts!
Post # 9
My aunt had twins unexpectedly, when she already had 2 older children. She said that there were some days when she had to say to herself “all I have to do is get through today” – because looking to far ahead was overwhelming! Now those little twins are turning 20 next month! I think you would not be normal if you didn’t have a few moments of “OMG how am I going to do this?”- I think every mother does! Good Luck!
Post # 10
There are tons of twins in my family, so I can repeat what those moms have said, though I have no first hand experience. The first bit is definitely harder with twins, so they all say with twins it’s super, super important to get them on a schedule and keep them there (as much as you can), or you’ll never get anything done or any sleep. But, if it makes you feel better, most have said that in a lot of ways twins are easier than their singles once they get past infant stage because they entertain each other. I know you must be feeling very overwhelmed (I’m nervous just knowing I have a decent chance), but I’m sure you will do a great job! I’m sure some mothers if twins will give you some ideas and I know their are some blogs about parenting twins that might be helpful!
Post # 11
Congratulations! My Boyfriend or Best Friend had twins 2 years after she graduated college and her and her husband just made it work. I think it really causes the two of you to pull together as a team. She was able to work from home a lot and that helped her. Does your job have a telecommuting policy? What about flexible work arrangements? Might be some options to look into if you want to continue working.
Post # 12
@Wispy: Thanks! My stepmom adopted twins, so she’s ready to step in and help once they’re here… I think it’s the twin pregnancy that’s really daunting right now even though I’m totally worried about when they get here!
@regberadaisy: Thanks for the hugs. 🙂 I try to be really frugal to begin with, so hopefully I can keep at it and cut down more!
@DaneLady: I went part-time at work a few months ago (and have since returned to full-time) to take care of my mom. With the nature of my job (visiting nurse), I had more work on my plate working part-time than I do full time! I’m not sure what my options will be going forward. I have to speak to my employer tomorrow. And thank you!
@dcdt212: Thank you! I was thinking about a job that I could take them to, I just wasn’t sure of where to start. Did you get the job after your baby was born or did you have it secured beforehand?
@mwitter80: That’s awesome advice. We’re looking through the finances now to make that work. We need to work through DH’s past indescretions and it’s been a little trying. We’ll figure it out!
@mountain.bride: Congrats on your pregnancy! I definitely know that worry comes with the territory, whether there is one or more babies in there! I found a website with a twin group, but I’m still a little shy about it so I’m just a lurker right now 🙂
@eeniebeans: Thank you! It helps to feel a little more normal sometimes 🙂
@smores: It definitely is overwhelming – I have to keep reading those positive twin blogs! 🙂
@krsmall: Thank you! I’m going to speak to my job about other opportunities, since my midwife wants me to start taking it easy already. I’m a visiting nurse, so I’m on the floor at patient’s homes looking at wounds on their feet/legs, etc. so the position changes are already getting more difficult and I get dizzy when I stand up. Plus because I’ve been so tired, I feel like I’m falling asleep at the wheel! With that big no-no coming on, my midwife said I need to talk to work to start taking it easy. God forbid something happen to the twins if I were to fall asleep at the wheel!