- 6 years ago
Why does it feel like every week now, someone from my family says or does something that makes me want to burst into tears? I am soo, soo tired of all of this. People keep saying, “Have fun! Enjoy this time!” How?! How can I possibly be enjoying any of this, when my family is driving me up a f’n wall?!
A couple of weeks ago, I was told that my aunt (who my mother doesn’t like), and my second-cousin (who my mother doesn’t like) are planning to throw me a shower. I told my mom this and she flipped out. She said, “Wtf?! Why did you even invite them to your wedding? I am NOT attending a shower with them, so I will throw you another one, separate from theirs.”
Flash forward to today, my uncle’s wife told me that my aunt and second-cousin wanted to know what date I wanted my shower to be on. So, obviously, the shower planning is in full-swing. So, I text my mom to tell her, “Hey, they (aunt and cousin) are planning me a shower for May. Are you and (my sister) still gonna throw me a separate one, or do you want to go to the one (aunt and cousin) throw?”
My mom text me back and said, “Are you telling me I can’t be invited to the shower they’re throwing?”
I said, “No, not at all. They’ll expect you to be there. But, when I told you that they were probably throwing me one, you said you would not go if they threw it, and that you would help (my sister) throw one for me.”
Mom: “Um, I don’t remember saying that at all? I have no idea how I would even begin to come up with the money to throw you a shower between now and then!”
Me: “Well, that’s fine. I would really rather just have one shower, anyway. I was just letting you know because you said you didn’t want to go if they were the hosts.”
Mom: “I still have to pay $500 for my beach house and stuff before then. But, I’m sure you’ll get plenty of gifts from all of them.”
Uhh, huh? Wtf?! Is she really trying to paint me out to be a Bridezilla who is demanding multiple showers and tons of gifts? I NEVER NEVER NEVER EVER wanted more than one shower. I have explicitly told everyone I just want one shower. Showers/parties in my honor make me really uncomfortable because I am so shy. I don’t want to have to continually go through that. As far as the gifts go, I could care less if everyone shows up with a damn cardboard box.
The two showers thing only came up when my mom insisted she would not set foot in the same room with my aunt and cousin, and then informed me that she would be helping my sister throw me one. I was so stressed out when she told me she wanted to throw a separate shower, because then I knew I’d have to explain to my aunts and everyone why my mother wasn’t there, etc.
Now, my mom is trying to act like I’m being some kind of demanding brat (trust me, that is what she was getting at with those texts she sent. She guilt trips me all the time and turns things around on me.). I’m also pretty sure her last text to me insinuated that she will not be coming to my shower that my aunt is throwing. So, basically, my own mother will not be at my only bridal shower.
I cannot deal with her headgames right now. I told everyone (on here) that she would start pulling this shit closer to the wedding, and I was right. Like I said, her moods alter like night and day, at the drop of a hat. Earlier today I spoke to her and she was cheerful and fine. Tonight, she’s moody. Most of the time, she’s really happy and enthusiastic about the wedding and she even gave us a lot of money to help out. But, it’s times like these that just make me very, very sad.