(Closed) Mama drama over the date.

posted 6 years ago in Logistics
  • poll: Should I have the wedding in February or April?
    You crazy, girl. You better have it in April. : (6 votes)
    24 %
    Stick to your guns, there's nothing unreasonable about February. : (19 votes)
    76 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1755 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I say stick to the date you want.  Your sister may be able to make arrangements with her profs to take a long weekend and attend anyway.  And it’s amazing the excuses people can come up with for dates.

    Half my guests are from Canada and don’t have Memorial Day weekend, the US half had said the Memorial Day weekend would be great – small wedding so I asked people what works for them.  But my mom suddenly threw a tantrum and said it was like having a wedding on Christmas – for the record, we’ve never done anything special on Memorial Day weekend in the past.  So now instead of the May wedding I wanted, I’m having one in September, after Labor Day weekend though because my mom started to hyperventilate at the thought of Labor Day Weekend.

    And also, parents who don’t contribute to the cost, seem all too willing to part with more of your money, but that’s a whole ‘nother can of worms…  Do what you want and can afford, you’ll be happier in the long run. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    11355 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    When you say that you cannot pay for an April wedding, I presume that is because you and your Fiance have already paid hefty deposits to various vendors for your wedding in February.  Is that correct? If that’s true, then I don’t think you and your Fiance — who are paying for your own wedding — should have to forfeit those deposits, unless your parents agree to reimburse you for the costs involved in changing the date just to accommodate their wishes.

    If, however, you mean that you cannot pay for an April wedding because it will COST more, but you haven’t yet committed any money to vendors for the February date, then I would give your parents a choice: 1) We keep the wedding in February, because we cannot afford to pay for a peak-season wedding. Are you willing to pay for Sister to fly home for a February wedding? Or, 2) If that is not to your liking, if you and Dad are willing to pay the difference in cost between a peak-season wedding in April and an off-peak-season wedding in February, we would be willing to change the date.   

    Post # 6
    Member
    11355 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    @lovelyowl89:  I’m glad you liked it! πŸ™‚ By offering them this type of choice, you clearly would be showing your parents that you and your Fiance are more than willing to be flexible, but you must also be realistic. And, whatever they decide, they cannot be upset with you, because THEY made the choice. πŸ™‚

    Post # 7
    Member
    611 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Stick to your guns. I don’t know anything about your sister’s degree program obviously, but I agree with you — I don’t see how it’s so intense she couldn’t miss 2-3 days of classes. Maybe you can even check with her to see if there is a date in February when the UK has a holiday when classes wouldn’t be in session anyway–that would be super convenient. And if there isn’t one, then if she lets her professors know at the beginning of the semester that she’ll have to miss those days, and plans her work on her assignments accordingly, it can easily be worked around.

    And if your mom still insists that your sister can’t handle it, then I think Brielle’s suggestion is reasonable, and smart: just outline what you can afford, what the difference would be to do it in April, and let her decide whether she’s willing to float the difference.

    Post # 8
    Member
    187 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Plane trips, California to London, are about 11 1/2 hours one way, non-stop.  Time zones are such that if your wedding is Saturday and she leaves Sunday she won’t be in London until Monday afternoon.  She would have to take at least two days off of school. And then probably another 2 days in a fog at school getting over jet lag.

    I’d say if you want a Feb wedding, assume your sister won’t make it.  If she does it’d be a great surprise, but don’t count on it.

    Post # 9
    Member
    2239 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Stick to your date.  

    Post # 10
    Member
    4046 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I think everyone would be more likely to make it in April anyway. February is alot more likely to have bad snow, on the east coast and in England.

    Post # 11
    Member
    611 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    @kerensa:  Devil’s advocate: I, and I suspect most people in cold climates, would be ecstatic to go to a wedding in sunny California in the middle of February!

    Post # 12
    Member
    581 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I think I agree with Brielle in basically every thread. This is another one! πŸ™‚

    Post # 13
    Member
    11355 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    @Americano:  Aww! Thanks! I absolutely love trying to help other bees solve problems when I can. πŸ™‚

    Post # 15
    Member
    11355 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    @WillyNilly:  You are very kind. πŸ™‚

    The topic ‘Mama drama over the date.’ is closed to new replies.

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