- 6 years ago
- Wedding: February 2014
We originally (as you can see) set our date for Feb 22, 2014. Picked it because it’s in wedding off-season and more venues will be in our price range. I’m fine with a February wedding, but I’m very insistent about having it in CA. I was raised there and both Fiance and I love it, and I miss it every day. So we’ll be planning a semi-destination wedding.
My mom hasn’t been supportive of my engagement from day 1 (her response to me telling her and my dad was something along the lines of crickets chirping until she said “okay then.”). From what I understand, she thinks I’m being impulsive. I’ve had several discussions with her about why she doesn’t want me to get married, and it usually comes back around to her own marital problems.
Mom was pretty clear that she/Dad won’t be contributing to the wedding (something that really eats me up because they could afford to throw me a $100,000 gala bash if they wanted to), and they constantly give and then take away their approval. One week it’s “oh, FI’s such a great guy” and the next, “What are you doing?” The inconsistency is something that has been consistent (hah) since my childhood.
When I told my mom that the wedding was set for February, she said, “Well, haven’t you forgotten that your sister will be in college? You can’t have it in February, she’ll be gone.” I sat there for a minute (because I really didn’t think of this) and then said, “oh,” which was just the cue my mom needed to start rambling on about how April would be better because my sister could come on her school break (she’s attending college in England).
In my head I was thinking, “Hold the phone–when did you start having an interest in the wedding you don’t support and aren’t paying for?” but I kind of mumbled out loud and said I hadn’t thought of that. My mom insisted that I needed to change the date and started talking like I already had, and that the wedding is now in April.
I don’t understand why my sister can’t just fly out for a long weekend and take a few days off from school. Yeah, it’s a long flight, but I’m only getting married once, and we can’t pay for an April wedding! My parents are also not paying for any part of the wedding, but feel they can control the date??
Is it unreasonable of me to want to stick to a February wedding? Am I being selfish here?