- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
SORRY FOR THE LONG POST! I just don’t know what to do anymore.
SO, my parents have offered to give my fiance and I $15K for our wedding. I am extremely gratfeul to have this money available to us and I am doing what I can to NOT spend that total amount, because that’s a lot of money! I am trying to keep my parents contribution to a maximum of $12K, I plan on spending about $1K of my own money, my fiance will spend some on things he cares most about (like having an awesome “getaway” car), and my future in-laws would like to pay for the alcohol and DJ, and also the rehearsal dinner. I have been having one argument after another with my mother throughout this whole planning process and it’s so frustrating!! Last night I told her I’d like to have our invitations include both sets of parents names (for example, Mr and Mrs. Brides parents and Mr. and Mrs. Grooms parents request the pleasure of your company…etc.) because they are both contributing a lot of money. Apparently this is unacceptable to my mother, and she feels that since she and my dad are contributing the MOST money, only she and my dad should be mentioned on the invites. I also want to mention that my guest list has 164 people due to my HUGE family, so keeping the budget under $15k is difficult. Originally my mom complained because I was inviting our whole family (not only to avoid hurt feelings but because I’ve always dreamed of having them all there), so I decided to take off family members who either 1. Live across the country and probably can’t make it, or 2. Who I think will RSVP “yes” and not show up, (because they’re known for doing that) which is a huge waste of money. After I brought the list down to about 120 something people, my mom tells me I need to just invite EVERYONE in the family so that I don’t cause family drama. AUGH! So now I’m at 164. I found a venue I love, my fiance loves it, his mom loves it, MY mom loved it–for about an hour, then she decided to point out all the things that are wrong with the place. I just feel stuck because she is giving us so much money, and I want to include her in the planning, but I don’t want to have to bend over backwards and do everything SHE wants. I didn’t think it was a big deal to include my fiance’s parents on the invites, but I guess it is. I dont know what etiquette states about including both parents, but I thought it would be nice to include them so that they get a little recognition for their contribution. And my mom stated last night that the only reason my fiance’s parents are paying for our DJ and alcohol is because I can’t manage to keep the budget under $15K…which is COMPLETELY untrue. My fiance’s parents mentioned paying for these things the night we got engaged!! BEFORE we even had any type of budget in mind!!! And I’m planning on keeping the budget under $15K even WITH their contribution!!!
WHAT SHOULD I DO!? I have time to figure things out, nothing is set in stone, we haven’t booked anything. But that’s only because my mom’s opinion keeps me from making any plans. I’m ready to just say screw it all and go to the courthouse.