Post # 1
Just to preface, this post is just an observation. Also, FI is most certainly not a mama’s boy, nor is his mother overbearing (she’s actually really nice). But I’ve dated mama’s boys, I’ve known mama’s boys, and I read about them all the time on the Bee. I am so independent that I don’t know what I would do if I had an old lady tell me how I should cook for my man. And is it me, or is there something extremely unsexy about a guy who will go to insane lengths just to placate a bossy nagging mom?? I’ve dumped guys over their moms and families because I knew they would drive me nuts.
I once walked out on a family dinner of a guy I was dating, because his mother told me I wear inappropriate clothing in pictures on facebook. She used my ex’s fb account (of which she had unfettered access to- he was 33 YEAR OLD!!) to picture stalk me after I ignored her friend requests (FYI I’m a first grade teacher and most of my clothes come from JCrew and Ann Taylor, so dressing prevocatively isn’t a habit of mine.). I promptly dumped him, saying it was the last straw and that we could NEVER have a future because he was such a baby to let his mother speak to me so.
I really give so much cred to you Bees out there who deal with this with grace. Tell me…. what are your ridiculous Mama Boy stories and how the hell do you deal??
Post # 2
How have I dealt with it? By making them exes, that’s how.
I was once with MB (mama’s boy) #1 and after I started dating her son she said hi to me one day like this: “oh so you’re the reason why he’s not with me anymore and can’t do things for me huh?”
MB#2: he came to me one day and said “how come you never make me dinner or iron my shirts like my mom does for my dad?” So…I got out the ironing board and iron and cheerfully said “babe hand me your shirt!” He did, and I left the iron on it for a while…buuuurrnnn Mwa ha ha. Oh and I also made him dinner and purposely overcooked the fish until it was inedible and served it sweetly and watched him have to eat the whole damn thing.
This was of course ladies when I was younger and more foolish. 😉
Afterwards in my less passive aggressive years if I ever dated an MB I learned to say “yeah I’m looking for a partner, an equal, not someone who needs a mom replacement.”
Post # 3
No stories, but the way I would deal? I wouldn’t! I know people who have had marriages fall apart over this and consider it a MAJOR red flag.
During the dating and even engagement phases, maybe it’s just unsexy and annoying, but as life goes on it becomes a major freakin deal when decisions surrounding things that really impact life such as kids, careers, relocating, supporting aging family members, money, etc etc etc are constantly being impacted by the man’s inability to put his wife and new nuclear family first. No way would I ever knowingly take that risk and it blows my mind that so many women do.
Probably not what you were looking for with this post but I have a friend who’s life is really a mess right now exactly due to this, yet she wouldn’t walk away early on when all the warning signs were there…so I’m a bit sensitive to this topic right now.
Post # 4
coffeedrinker: you’re hilarious! That’s so funny that you walked out of a dinner. My new husband is a little bit of a mama’s boy & it drives me INSANE! I often feel like he cares more about her feelings than mine…and cares more about making her happy than me. You definitely made me laugh though. You for sure have confidence and I admire that.
Post # 5
Post # 6
My first relationship, my ex was a mama’s boy and lord it was the worst thing ever looking back on it. He was also VERY close to his sister. Whenever we’d go out with his family, he’d be talking to his mom or sister more than me, often leaving me to go hang out with them. He never came to Christmas or Thanksgiving at my family’s just because his mom and sister didn’t want him to. (Let it be known that I went to every holiday with his family, even though my mom wasn’t thrilled about it, and we’re close.) It was constantly his mom and sister over me, which to extent is fine but this was ALL THE TIME.
On more than one occassion his sister made a comment about my beliefs and he didn’t bother to say anything.
Now his mom was another story, she was sweet around me but then told my boyfriend that I dressed like a “sl*t” or that my manners weren’t good. It was always something, you know?<br /><br />
Well, we ended up breaking up because his mom and sister talked to him and he realized “He was just not happy.”
All I can say is I’m glad it’s over and I gave him a piece of my mind when we broke up.
My fiance now is close to his mom but he’s not a “mama’s boy” at all, thank god.
Post # 7
By not dating or marrying one. Easy peasy.