(Closed) Mamma Drama

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
14 posts
  • Wedding: February 2012

Well, bipolar is a mental illness and if she is truly bipolar, she may not be able to handle her feelings.  It can be very hard for them to express true emotion.


If you’re using it to just mean she’s freaking out, well then, that’s another story.  She doesn’t want a wedding planner because you’re her baby and you’re getting married and she wants you to want HER to help you. 


Be kind.  She’s feeling loss.  I know she’s being a big baby and stomping her feet and throwing a tantrum, but treat her like you would a three year old.  “Okay, mom, do you like the yellow or green better?”  “Would you want to go to the cake testing?”  “Do you think we should have a fish option or would most people like chicken?”  Ask her simple things.  Ask her things that don’t matter ” What song do you want o to hear played at the wedding?  What do you think your side of the family would like for favors?”  Keep it an open dialogue, go with what YOU want, but if it doesn’t really matter (like choosing the second layer of cake) throw her a bone and let her have a say.  She just wants to matter.

Post # 6
6 posts

@MeganTacky2247: I know what you going thru because I have the same dynamic with Sister. She’s  mentally ill. She even gets SSI. But she’s also to function and is very intelligent so its very frustrating to see someone so “normal” behave in such sick ways. 

Nothing you do or say is ever going to change her. So the only thing you can do is to control your reactions to her behavior. Limit conact with her when you need a break. Send calls to voicemail. Keep her strickly on a need to know basis. When she has moments of lucidity appreciate them, but when you know the crazy trail is coming, jump off quick.

Let me give you a few examples out of what could literally be thousands.

  • My sis lacks a sensativity chip. FH’s dad recently passed. He was in his battle with stage 4 liver cancer. She kept pushing me to come visit her (i hadn’t seen her in weeks because she’s so damn annoying and I can only take her in small doses),Me and FH were constantly in and out of the hospital, because he’s on his death bed pretty much and she knows this.  So she leaves me one of her usual 5-6 minute long messages that starts out with “Why can’t you come see me, Your always putting everyone else infront of me. I don’t understand why your always going hospital to see him, its not like your even close to him!”

Needless to say this lead to a huge blow out where I told her I would cut her out of my life. That I was sick of her thinking that she could say whatever she wanted and that she had better watch what she says to me moving forward. I did not speak to her for weeks. She flipped out and would leave me messages everyday. I didn’t respond. I waited until I was ready and then re-openned communicaiton. So now she’s been “lucid” recently so she’s been on her best behavior. I still haven’t seen her though.

  • Then there was the time when my mom died she seemed to be under the impression that I leave FH (we have been living together for about 4/5 years now) and move back in with her into studio apartment. She was on campaign of her typical 5-15 calls a day (which I know better than to pick up the phone, so they all get sent to voicemail). She complained to family about me. She basically couldn’t afford to keep the place ended up owing $3-4K and was taken to court to be evicted. My name was on the case as well because I was listed as the next of kin on my moms death certificate. So I went to court told them I had no interest in the apt that the case should only be between my sister and the landlord. Thankfuly they saw it my way and I was released.

She was formally evicted and had to go to homeless shelter for few months but now lives a lovely building in a one bedroom apartment. She’s totally landed on her feet, as I knew she would, But some how she blames me for her having to move. Its my fault that she lost the apartment. I could have helped if I wanted to. Umm did I mention I’m unemployed? Did I mention she’s 15 years older than me and hasn’t worked in 20+ years and apparently i”m to blame for that too? I’m responsible for her shitty life. I didn’t know I was that powerful.

  • She would meet random men that she’s interested in on the street but give them my phone # and tell them about her more successful, prettier sisters. Oh this while i’m in my current relationship by the way.

So yeah I know all about absured comments because I’ve been dealing with her crazy ass all my life.


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