Post # 17
My DH rarely wears his. He’s not a big ring guy. He also has an eng. ring that he’s trying to get into a better habit of wearing to work. He doesn’t want to wear his wedding band to work, which doesn’t bother me. I just wish he would remember it more when we go out.
As long as he wears it to a wedding it doesn’t bother me too much, but I do wish he would think to throw it on more often.
Post # 18
For me it is no big deal. We have bought Fiance a ring for the ceremony but he has no intention of continuing to wear it. Not even on the Honeymoon. Dad doesn’t have a ring and grandpa didnt have a ring until their 50th anniversary.
Having Fiance wear a ring does not make him anymore married to me or commited to me.I am completely comfortable and secure that he will be the same person before the wedding and after the wedding with or without a ring.
Post # 19
I had no idea there’s so many people here who don’t wear a ring. I always assumed you wear a ring if you’re married, and if you don’t wear a ring, you’re not married. Wow, this is really helping me see where he’s coming from. I was worried that his not wanting to wear a ring all the time meant hat he didn’t really care for our commitment. Now I see that it’s just a cultural difference. Thank you! Keep the stories coming, it’s great to see different perspectives and understand how people look at this situation. It’s helping me feel a lot more comfortable with this. And I know that once I ease up on him and relax about this, he might be more interested in wearing it anyway, just to make me happy. As long as he’s not feeling pressured… that’s how our dance usually works 🙂
Post # 20
My DH was the same way. He’s a software developer which means that he’s coding all day long. He was concerned that wearing the ring would impact his typing and warned me that if it did, he would have to take his ring off when he was working. I told him that I understood but that it was important to me that he wears it regularly and he agreed, as it’s important to him too. So far he’s been wearing the ring for 3 days and he’s complained about it like a dozen times. I keep telling him that he just has to get used to it but he’s even gone so far as to say it hurts and he claims he can already see a callus (he’s insane, there’s nothing there). Just like anything new, it will take time to get used to. I asked him how the ring felt today, after he had a chance to work with it on for a while and he said it was fine. Don’t worry about it just yet. It seems like your SO wants to wear it but he’s just concerned with the comfort which is understandable. This is a battle you should save until it really becomes an issue.
Post # 21
i would not worry until after he gives it a try as he said he would. and then you will probably find you have nothing to worry about as he will find its not as bad as he thinks. maybe make an agreement with him for how long he will give it a try…like a month non-stop and then he can re-evaulate how he feels at the end of the month – and by then he will probably have forgotten that it “feels” like anything to wear a ring.
Post # 22
I know my Fiance wont wear it at work b/c it could get caught on something and he could injure his hand. He has known guys this has happened to.
I look at my FI’s hands a lot lately and try to imagine a ring on it, and I can’t. He doesnt seem the type. He is going to buy one and we will probably get ours engraved, but if he doesn’t wear it I can’t say I would get upset. It just doesn’t seem like ‘him’ to wear jewelry of any kind.
Post # 23
I”m sorry you’re having this problem! I hope he warms up to the idea of wearing a ring! My Fiance isn’t the type to wear jewelry and he’s havin a hard time picking the ring that he’s going to be wearing forever but he’s never objected to it… (his dad never wears his band either)
I agree with all of the bees… he should give it a try… it’s not so bad.
Post # 24
He should try and make an effort really and see how he feels for the first couple of times. he could get used to it really. But I dont know.. My Fiance actually doesnt care for wearing his ring.. he wears it when hes out and suff, but if hes at the Gym or at work ( hard labor ) he doent wear it cuz hes afraid to bend it or watever.
Also he sys that it hurts him when he shakes someones hands becase its thick, so im on a mission to buy him a thnner one when I see him.
I guess its normal…but ask him to just put in some effort for a little bit.
Post # 25
My Fiance was adament against wearing a wedding ring. He hates jewelery, ties, lanyards… pretty much everything. Once he saw how important it was to me, though, he agreed to give it a try. He looked online for a while and picked out a plain 4mm platinum band from Tiffany. Yesterday we even went and tried it on. I don’t know if he’s going to love wearing it, but he’s going to give it a try.
When it comes to his ring, I try to be as hands off as possible and let him pick what he likes and what is the most comfortable. I did let him know it’s super important to me and barring situations that would be dangerous to wear a ring, I expect him to wear it.
Take it day by day and let him pick the ring that’s the most comfortable for him. All you can hope is that he gets used to it.
Post # 26
Neither my father nor my SO’s father wears their wedding ring. i dont even know if they HAVE ONE! both have a job where you must have your hands clear (mechanic), so i guess that was the reason. my SO’s father says “rings are for girls” … ha! his mother cared a lot when they got married, but has since gotten used to it cause she trusts him and understands (he was never a ring wearer ever)… i told my bf that i’d love for him to wear his.. he says he never thought about it before and will most likely wear his. i never even noticed that my own father never wore his ever.. he has it on a necklace i think. maybe your Fiance can do that?
Post # 27
Thanks for adding a poll!
At this point I’m kind of surprised how many would consider this a “deal breaker.” As I’m looking at it, 18 vs 30 (combining “I would rathers” with “I don’t cares”).
Post # 28
My father never wore his wedding bands (he had 2 haha my mom and him had matching ones), anyway…it was because of his job and it was a risk in it getting caught in machinery. My Fiance is going to wear a wedding band and its a plain white gold, rounded, comfortfit, 6mm 14ct band.
I would feel uncomfortable if my husband didnt wear one. I know my Fiance would NEVER cheat on me and that isn’t the issue. I just feel like its a symbol of our love and commitment.
Post # 29
@squeak: I must have missed the cultural part of your post. May I ask, what culture is it? I am just genuinely curious. I think its great that you both are going to meet the other halfway 🙂
Post # 30
my husband wore his ring for all of about 5mins and took it off before we had even left the ceremony site – he didnt like the feel and im ok with that. to me, its not a big deal at all
Post # 31
I’ve said it in previous posts: a ring is just a ring. it is just a piece of metal. yes, it has symbolim, but it does not hold magical powers. if he decides to not wear it, you are still married.
if he takes it off does it mean he is not proud of you or is trying to hide the marriage? I doubt it.
can he cheat on you if he is wearing a wedding ring? yes.
can a woman hit on him if he is wearing it? yes.
If my husband told me that I MUST to wear a certain thing and then wouldn’t drop the subject if I refused, I’d be seriously angry.
sorry, but I think this is a trivial thing to argue about in a marriage. save your battles for something that’s actually important.