Post # 32
@squeak: I understand that you are trying to be understand, but I honestly don’t think it is reasonable for a man to feel “pushed and suffocated” for wearing a wedding ring while married. That’s just my opinion, but man, yeah, I would not be okay with no ring either.
Post # 33
my DH said the exact same thing. And then he started to wear it for me and now he wont take it off unless he is doing heavy lifting… give him time to get used to it. 🙂
Post # 34
There is a reason we wear that outward symbol of commitment. I am not okay with my Fiance not wearing his. That being said, I would ask him to wear it for a month at least and he will probably forget it’s even there.
Post # 35
My parents both never wore their rings and have a successful and happy marriage so I guess in my eyes I see it as more normal for it to not be a big deal. My dad always did blue collar / labor type work and didn’t watn to ruin it / lose it (and then over time he outgrew it and never got it resized). My mother also didn’t wear it due toa sizing issue but in the past 5 or so years started wearing something again.
My husband wears his to work and when we go out but we both routinely don’t wear them for stuff like sports and gym etc.
The ring is a special symbol and I LOVE mine but I still forget to put it on once in a while.
Look into really light weight things for him and see if he can adjust to the feeling of wearing it. Jewelry might feel awkward initially but I think like a seatbelt you just get used to wearing it
Post # 36
I’d be pretty hurt if DH didn’t want to wear a wedding band. To me, it is an outward symbol to the world of his commitment to me.
He was iffy on it like your Fiance – saying he’d never worn a ring before and didn’t think he would find it comfortable. Within a week or two, he didn’t even notice the ring anymore. Now he wears it for everything but playing tennis/exercising.
Post # 37
my parents rarely wore their wedding rings when i was growing up–they got married young and then grew out of their original bands (my mom never had an engagement ring), and only starting wear them again recently when they inherited another set of bands. and they’ve been married now for almost 41 years. so on one hand, i don’t think it’s a big deal at all. on the other hand, i would have been really upset if hubby didn’t want to wear his…
Post # 38
I know it doesn’t make a person more faithful, or make theirr marriage “healthier” or more likely to succeed if they wear a wedding ring, but it’s always mattered to me. I like looking at my ring, and enjoy thinking about what it symbolizes.
My father doesn’t wear a wedding ring and never has, and it’s always bothered me. Why should my mom wear an engagement ring, a wedding ring and an anniversary band when my dad doesn’t wear anything showing he’s married?
DH was more than happy to wear a wedding ring, as he’s worn a signet ring on one of his other fingers since high school, but if he hadn’t been a “jewelry person” I still would have asked him to try it for a month or so as a favor to me. I get if you have a job where it’s dangerous to wear rings, or if you don’t feel like wearing it around the house when you’re doing stuff or sleeping, but is it such a chore to wear it the rest of the time?
Post # 39
The only ring I wear is my engagement ring, and it took quite a while to get used to wearing it. I really only wear it when I leave the house (and not if I’m doing something messy like gardening or going to the gym).
I think your FH should get a properly fitted ring and try it for a few months before he gives up. Perhaps you can compromise (only wear it out of the house) or something. If he really hates it, I don’t think it should be a deal breaker.
But then, my parents are married but neither of them has ever worn a ring. I think the rings they had when newlyweds don’t fit anymore. I don’t have any expectations of ring wearing by my FH (or any married man, for that matter).
Post # 40
When my husband was trying on rings almost all the metal ones made him look fruity for lack of a better word. I couldn’t even bare to look at him with it on. Then he put a titanium one on, and I was like YES! If a man doesn’t wear jewelry it can be very weird for him to wear it. My husband only wears his when he does not work. He cannot wear it at work. When he does put it on, he gets a little kick out of it, I can see it in his face and how he keeps touching it. Give your boyfriend a break. Take things one step at a time!
Post # 41
My Fiance wasn’t into the ring idea but I told him my feelings and he told me he would. I understand not wearing them to work if you do certain occupations because they can be a hazard. I couldn’t wear my engagement ring while I worked but when I got home and on weekends it was always on my finger. My father never wore his for alot of reasons, some of them not good. I just feel if I wear one he should wear one too, it’s a sign of our commitment and I think it would hurt me if he didn’t.
Post # 42
When I was growing up my dad never wore his wedding ring for safety purposes. He is an electrician and with all the things that can go wrong on a job site, a ring is a danger. In fact once he did slice his finger, and he couldn’t get the ring off, his finger started healing into the ring and he had to get the ring surgically cut off! SCARY!
So, if that were the situation, I would want my husband’s safety over wearing a ring, and if he could remember to wear it on weekends, I’d like him to.
But it doesn’t sound like that’s the situation.
I have noticed a trend among married men not wearing wedding rings and it does irk me. Even though I understood my dad’s position, I think it always kinda bothered me that he didn’t/couldn’t wear a ring.
I did date a guy once who said he hated rings, and we actually agree that if we got married, we’d get rings tattooed on our fingers so that he didn’t have to worry about it – would that be an option you’d consider? You can still wear yours, and he could get a tattoo?
Post # 43
My husband only wears his about, I’d say, 20% of the time. He gets comments. A. Lot. “She lets you out of the house without it?” What’s going to happen if he doesn’t wear his magical ring? Sexxxy sluts will rape him, that’s what!
And meanwhile I just can’t give a shit.
Post # 44
@Beluga: LOL! agreed. why does it have to matter so much?
Post # 45
To me, it’s very important that the man I marry wears a ring. If he doesn’t wear it, that says he’s not proud enough to display that he’s married to me. I know this isn’t the case in all relationships; there are plenty of men that will go out and proclaim their love from the mountain top but not wear a ring, and they will even tattoo it on their face if they had the chance! It’s just that for me, I would want someone to want to carry around a symbol of our love, whether or not it annoys him for the first few days. I’m very traditional in this sense.
Post # 46
I wouldnt marry a man who didn’t want to wear his ring. I’d always wonder what the real reason was.. but my fiance wanted his own engagement ring. It’s a big deal in my eyes.