Post # 1
Ladies I, a lowly male, come in peace however if this is invading yalls secret female space let me know and I’ll kindly leave. That being said I have a friend who needs some help. He’s decided to start planning his proposal to his girlfriend, as of now its going to happen this Christmas while they’re in Rome or Paris (long wonderful story). His second order of buisness after deciding that was to start contemplating engagement rings, he’s going to need to start saving now. He set a max budget of $1000 (alas they are both but poor college students), and immediately disregarded anything with diamonds (she was ruined by the movie Blood Diamond, and wont have a thing to do with them). Anyways so her favorite gem by far is Alexandrite, which is wicked expensive as I’m sure you all know, but she would love it so I thats what he’s going with. However at a $1000 budget, natural alexandrite (and he wouldn’t even consider anything less, whats the point of getting a stone like this if its synthetic) is quite small considering as well as really difficult to find already in a setting without diamonds
So he spent all night, why he did this 8 months in advance who knows, its love!, and he found a quite small loose stone (with AIGS certification) whose color change she will love and a very simple and elegant 14k white gold ring setting. The hitch being the stone is a cushion shape, and the setting is for a round diamond, and I think its maybe a smidge too big, like .7 mm (the ring says the perfect diamond diameter would be 4.3 mm to 4.5, I’m not exactly sure how they calculate the diameter of a cushion, but I just did the ole Pythagorean theorum a^2+b62=c^2) … Anyways I digress
Here is the stone, and the ringhttp://www.multicolour.com/detail/?-2031310557http://www.antiquejewelrymall.com/r295.html
With resizing and setting the stone he should come out right around his budget… the question being for you is a stone that small worth it? He could definitely figure out larger more noticeable arrangements with more traditional gems (sapphires, emeralds, rubies and such) and a higher quality setting for the same money, but something about natural Alexandrite seems exceedingly special and has meaning just between them rather than impressive to other people. Also she doesn’t really like rings, and doesn’t wear them so maybe smaller is better? She has beautiful long slender fingers, does that make a difference? In all honesty she is so amazing in that she doesn’t really care about anything he could give her, as long as he gives her himself, which he has decided to do completely and without reserve, but he just wants this to be absolutely perfect.
So ladies, can you help a desperately in love man who wants nothing more than a happy fiance (hopefully!)?
Post # 3
I would much rather have a smaller stone in the gem that I love, than a larger one in another gem. She will love it, and appreciate all of the time and effort you spent finding the perfect ring!
Post # 4
Congrats on the impending proposal! You’re so sweet to work so hard to make your future wife happy with her ring 🙂 I think ultimately you are going to know much better than we will about how she will feel about the size of the stone. From what you’ve said (she doesn’t care for diamonds, likes smaller jewelry), it sounds to me like she’d probably be touched that you got her her favorite stone and won’t mind the size at all. If it is something you’re worried about though– perhaps talk to a good friend of hers for advice? My husband went to my best friend for advice about my ring and I’m so glad he did 🙂
One last night— before buying the stone I’d just email the people with the setting to make sure that the size wouldn’t be an issue. Good luck!
Post # 5
I agree with CorgiTales. It’s super sweet that you want to get her favorite stone, but look at her other jewelry and maybe ask a friend/sister of hers with similar style. Is she the type who wants more punch for her buck, or does she really like very delicate jewelry? A 1/3 carat stone, especially in a bright color, is not going to be sneered at by any means, so as long as you know she’d love a ring like that, I think you’re in business. Also agree about talking to a jeweler to see about cushion cut stone in round setting, and the size issue (I’m guessing the second won’t be a problem at all). Good luck!
Post # 6
Congratulations! I think she would love that given your description of the type of jewelry she likes! Longer fingers can make the stone look smaller but it sounds like that will not be a problem at all. I haven’t seen Blood Diamond but there are options that I have heard to that don’t involve whatever is in that movie. They’re called conflict-free diamonds, I don’t know how much they cost though. Another option many of the ladies on here have is called moissanite, which is also a clear stone. A third option for white stones is a white sapphire. You might want to ask someone if she wants a colored stone or a colorless stone. Some women like colorless because it goes with everything (I’m one of those) and some don’t care either way. From the sounds of it, she will be happy with whatever you choose, I just wanted to throw those out there for thought. Good luck!!!
Post # 7
i really dont think you will get a much larger stone than that if you go with rubies, sapphires, or emeralds. In fact, probably much smaller – unless you get a synthetic stone which doesn’t sound like something you want to do. The only way you would get a larger stone is with a semi precious gem such as topaz, citrine, garnet etc.
Would it be a complete no-no for you to discuss preferences with her? That way you would know whether you’re on the right track or not. I know some girls would love a surprise but I know I would have been very upset if my fiance had proposed without asking my preferences about the ring I will wear for the rest of my life.
Post # 8
You are going to be a fabulous husband. Good job.
Post # 9
First off, you’re seriously adorable.
My advice might be a little different than most brides will give you-but here’s my piece.
Fiance and I are also college students, but Fiance had been saving for my ring for years (we’ve been together 6 years, since we were 15…an aside). I’m sure you’ve heard of the bigger diamond vs. smaller, quality diamond debate. I wanted a bigger diamond with lower quality. Fiance went the other way around and got me a smaller diamond that is of superb quality. Although it isn’t exactly what I wanted, I’ve grown to love it. I love him and just knowing that he chose it because he loves me is enough to make me love this ring. I guess I told you this story to reiterate what you said- that she’ll love it no matter what it is. 🙂
For your specific situation, since it’s a colored stone, I would go with smaller and get her the alexandrite that you know she loves. 🙂 In terms of the band- you may want to talk to one of her friends and see if she likes plain bands or detailed/unique bands. Unless, of course, you already know this. The band you picked out is gorgeous, but a lot of girls are sticklers on plain bands (myself included).
Also— have you checked out moissanites…? They look just like diamonds (and sometimes prettier, but they are more ethical). Does she like the look of diamonds, despite the ethical issues? If so, moissanite might be the way to go.
Post # 10
He’s kind of discussed it with her here and there off hand so not to raise suspicion, and she absolutely loves suprises so I think he’s going to try and keep this one under wraps. We do know one of her friends pretty well (we’ve been in cohoots in planning suprises for his gf before), I’ll see what she can tell us, but as far as he knows she doesn’t wear much in the way of jewelry besides these cheap plastic bracelets thats she’s had for forever. No rings, rarely earings, no necklaces… he feels so lost, because with everything else he’s given her, he’s known her tastes so well.
Just based on what he knows of her in general, I think she would like antique and filigree style settings, but he was having alot of difficulty finding ones without diamonds… that still kept me on budget. Here are some options, what do yall think of these?
I like this one, it puts him a little over but thats not the end of the world…
Same with this one, but he would have to get a bigger stone, which he has one that size in mind (although its oval shaped), its from the same dealer, but with no certificate so its more likely it could be a fake (this is a major problem with alexandrites since they are so rare)
As for the diamond thing, she straight up told him she never wants him to get her anything with diamonds so its definitely ethical… but shes also kinda quirky, which he loves that about her, and she would love a gemstone.
I just realized he was judging her hands against his own, which is probably a bad idea as he’s pretty tall.
Anyways thanks everyone for the responses they are really helping us out!
Post # 11
I like this one the best: http://www.e14k.com/shop/index.php?&task=item&itemid=182. I think it’s very unique and pretty. I’m not really sure how this works but you might measure the dimensions of the smaller cushion cut stone and see if it would work in this ring.
Post # 12
Thanks for your opinion!
This is an option as well http://www.antiquejewelrymall.com/r299w25.html, its going to put him over a bit, but its 18k instead 14k… do girls even think about that?
Post # 13
Oh wow, I love the band you picked out. It’s incredibly unique and still simple. I would go with that band.
I also like the idea of getting a smaller alexandrite. The fact that you are aware it is her favorite stone is amazing. She definitely doesn’t seem like the kind of person who would rather have a larger stone just for the sake of it being big.
You are definitely sweet, and I think WB would be a better place if there were more boys around.
Congratulations to you both! Be sure and update us.
Post # 14
Have you checked etsy? If you find a setting you like, they could probably just use an alexandrite stone instead. The shops on etsy are usually more cost effective and you are supporting independent business! Here’s one I found after a quick search
Post # 15
I think the new choice is gorgeous but I still like the other one because it sits lower. Sometimes a high sitting ring will catch on things and get beat up pretty quickly.
Post # 16
1) I think it is precious you came to a mostly female wedding site for advice about your gf.
2)If you know she likes a certain stone, even a smaller one of a stone she likes, get that one, it shows you pay attention. 🙂
3) I may be biased because the ring I really hope my bf gets me is like the trinity knot one, but that one is amazing. Though all your options look awesome. The issue for 18k versus 14k is that if she doesn’t wear much jewlery or is hard on it an 18k ring is softer and easier to bend/dent which for me being as clumsy as I am is a big issue. But many women are capible of actually controlling their fine motor movement, something I seem to lack, so it may not be an issue for her.