(Closed) Manager getting IVF – Happy but worried about my TTC….

posted 6 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Even if you got pregnant right away, which unfortunately it usually takes at least a few months with no health problems, then you will still be okay to work when she goes on maternity leave. I wouldn’t put your ttc on hold based on someone else because who know what could happen and if it takes you and Darling Husband a while to get pregnant you will regret waiting so long because of someone’s schedule.

Post # 4
Member
2889 posts
Sugar bee

This may be a non issue if it takes longer than expected for either of you to get pregnant. I can’t say this is the right thing to do but, in your place, I would prob. wait to see if/when she will be out and try to adoiv overlapping if possible. If it means postponing more than a year, I would not be willing to do that but if it is waiting 3-6 months I think I would just want to avoid potential grief from other colleagues or bosses. I know this is not what most people will say as you of course have a right to have a baby when you want regardless of others but that’S my conflict avoiding opinion.

Post # 5
Member
1390 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t think you have anything to worry about. Starting a family has nothing to do with 1) Anyone else 2) What your coworkers think or 3) What your company might or might not like. They have absolutely no control over what choices you make and there are laws to make sure there aren’t. If you get flack, which is extremely unlikely, you could take recourse because it’s harassment. There are a lot of protections around pregnant and lactating women for exactly this reason. I think you’ll find that your employer is likely to be extremely cautious when it comes to anything relating to your pregnancy.

I also think your coworkers will probably just be happy for you. We are a small non-profit and in 2 years we’ve never had a time when someone wasn’t pregnant, on maternity leave, or lactating. HR depts. figure this stuff out and you don’t need to worry about it.

Post # 6
Member
7606 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Honestly, I wouldn’t put another thought towards this.  I couldn’t care less what my work will think when I get pregnant, and I wouldn’t care if the entire staff was having IVF treatments at the same time (that sounded wrong – I would care, it just wouldn’t affect my personal plans).

I agree with your Darling Husband about not putting your lives on hold!  One woman’s choices and situation should not affect yours.

Post # 7
Member
1482 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I find it really interesting that your boss is automatically taking a month off after her first transfer.  One of my friends is going through IVF, and it’s not magical- it can take awhile, ESPECIALLY since she’s doing IVF for infertility.  It can take several rounds of transfers.  I think it’s very selfish of her to take a whole month off when she’s not even pregnant yet, particularly since it sounds like your office is pretty small.  Whether or not that embryo attaches will not be affected by whether or not she is at work or at home laying on the couch watching soap operas.

But anyway, I would go forth with your own personal family planning, and if you’re preganant at the same time, due at the same time, whatever- your company and your boss will figure it out.  Life will go on.  Like PP said before, if they say ANYTHING negative to you, you have a right to go to your HR and report that you are being harassed.  They certainly can’t fire you for getting pregnant and not timing it “correctly” in your eyes.  And you “deserve” a baby just as much as your boss does! 

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