Post # 1
I’ve been in this current workplace for roughly 13 months, in which I’ve made some great friends. However I’m stuck whether to invite my new manager whom I’m not so close with (myself and another lady got transferred to his team about 5 months ago). Adding to the fact that it feels grabby if he declines and still feel like he needs to give me something (this happened to my bestie whose boss tried to give her money, haha).
I’ll be inviting my other work colleague that I work closely with, and about 4-5 people from the new work that I’ve come to enjoying frequent lunches with. I feel like its only polite to invite my manager too, but should I care to, out of politeness? Whats the ettiquette when it comes to work colleagues?
My partner isn’t inviting anyone from his as he doesn’t care one way or another.
Post # 3
If you’re not close, then no. I will be inviting ONE person to my wedding who I currently work with. I will be inviting 4 others who I used to work with, but have become friends with since they left. Everyone else at work doesn’t get an invite just cause I work with them. It’s not like I choose to see them everday. But I can choose to invite them to my wedding or not.
Post # 4
Do you think your new manager would be offended if you didn’t invite him? Or do you think he would feel relieved to be left off the guest list?
I did invite my new manager when I sent out invitations (he started about five months before the wedding) out of etiquette. I work very closely with the new manager, and it would have been weird not to invite him when I was inviting pretty much the rest of my team. Plus, I like him, so there’s that too. If you like your new manager, and don’t want to worry about offending him, I would extend an invitation. If he doesn’t want to come, he’ll find an excuse.
Post # 5
I didn’ta invite any work colleagues for this reason, so cant give you my example. However, if you are inviting 4 + people from work already, if he knows and it is a smaller group,or office, I can see that he might get offended, and possibly hold it against you when promotions or recommendations are concerned.
Post # 6
@blinx: It is bad social form advance your career by means of your social events. It is unprofessional to let your personal doings interfere with your work. Work life and personal life are separate domains that should be kept separate, and learning to establish appropriate boundaries between them will in the long run pay off in both domains.
That does not mean that you cannot make friends at work. You are spending forty hours a week or so with your colleagues. It would be sad indeed if you didn’t find any friends among them. But “friends” are people that you think of as, well, “friends”. If the first thing that comes to mind when you answer the question “Who is Mr Pointy-hair?” is “He’s my boss” or “He’s my colleague”, then you don’t think of him as a friend. It would be improper to invite him to a social event. If the answer that comes to mind is “He is a friend whom I met at work when I got transferred into his department,” then yes, you may with propriety invite him.
Post # 7
- Wedding: August 2012 - W Hotel Silicon Valley
I’ve been at my job for almost 7 years and I only invited ONE person from work. We are the closest and DH and I actually hang out with him and his wife outside of work every once in awhile. Nobody else was offended–or at least they didn’t say anything or show it. Everyone was excited to see photos! Invite who you want 🙂
Post # 8
Thanks…I’ve decided to do this and am only inviting 3-4 people whom I actually make an effort to have lunch or after work drinks with.