Marital Finances?

posted 7 days ago in Money
Post # 31
Member
1099 posts
Bumble bee

We have separate accounts. On pay days he sends me money to cover his portions of the bills.

Some of you will eventually learn why joint accounts are a bad idea. One day your husband (or wife) could decide he no longer wants to be married, however you will have no idea he has planned to leave you. He will go to the bank one morning, usually right after you both have been paid and he will clean out the bank account leaving you scrambling until the next pay day…

I had an ex that did it and a customer last week who just had it happen. Not that I think fiancé will leave, but having an ex that would leave in a heartbeat with the money and shutting down phones, taught me to never fully trust anyone to always put my and the children’s needs first.

Post # 32
Member
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

We have a joint account, where all pay checks and all bills go in and out of. In my opinion, it’s just easier that way. We view all our assets as combined and when we need to budget more and spend less, we discuss it together and work as a team. There are so many other stressors in life, that I don’t think keeping “tabs” on how much you each contribute and splitting things is worth the effort. 

Post # 33
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2020

We do a percentage of our incomes into a joint account, since he makes double what I make:

80% of his and 80% of mine right into the joint account where the mortgage, utilities, car and all other expenses get paid. Then an automatic transfer of money into savings, just like a bill, it’s like money we never had!

The last 20% is our own play money, but he’s still technically a gentleman pays for our dates and special things here and there from his personal account. 😊

Post # 34
Member
9326 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

when we go married we opened a joint account, but still had our own separate accounts.

when we needed infertiltiy treatment, we had to liquidate all our savings, etc to pay for IVF.  so at that point, we moved to one account for our family.

this works better for us, as my husband is not great with money.  so i can see all that is going out and coming in.

Post # 35
Member
17 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2020

We have separate and a joint one.  My pay goes into the joint and all house expenses are paid from it. (Mortgage, hydro, water, Phone etc)

In my separate one is my child support and Child tax benefit which I look after my boys with.  He pays for everything else……food, outings, vacations, gas for the vehicles, any houshold expense that comes up.  

It all works out well and we dont keep tabs.  

Post # 36
Member
7008 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Joint account.  Since we’ve gotten married, we’ve gone from making close to the same wage, to him making considerably more.  I would honestly be stressed the f*** out if we weren’t joint.  I’m very much a team player and would love things to be 50/50… but having a reminder every day that I just couldn’t do that would probably kill me.

Post # 37
Member
1529 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

We have a joint account. Our bills all get paid out of our joint account. We also have two credit cards and they are shared cards. All our finances are really completely combined.

We have a separate savings account that we put a set amount of money into each month for big things we’re saving up for.

I make significantly more money than my husband. Neither one of us makes a lot of big purchases that are just for ourselves. We travel a lot together, and we like to eat out frequently. We are avid skiers and hikers so we do buy a fair amount of equipment for that, but again that’s for a shared activity. It’s not like I’m going out and spending tons of money on expensive stuff for just myself, and the same for my husband. If one of us did want to buy something like that, we would talk about it first. We don’t have rules about who can spend more or less money based on how much income they bring in. I make more money but I also spend more hours at work and don’t do as much of the cooking or pet care as my husband does… I think both partners need to come into a relationship as equals and put equal time and energy into keeping the household running. Income is one part of that, but it’s not the only part.

Post # 38
Member
971 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

penny1403 :  I personally wouldn’t marry someone who I couldn’t trust. Even if you have separate accounts, your spouse can still negatively affect you financially and otherwise if that’s what they want to do. 

Post # 39
Member
85 posts
Worker bee

Since moving in together we have three main accounts we use, a bills one, a everyday account and a joint savings.  We then have 2 separate accounts.  All our wages go into the joint accounts, it’s all our money now.  I earn slightly less but I actaully work longer hours than him so it all balances out! 

Post # 40
Member
1075 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

sullivanbay94 :  we have a joint account and joint savings. We also each have our “own” checking and savings that we can spend from at will with no questions asked. It is 10% of our paycheck. Technically we are joint on the whole thing, but we don’t treat it that way.

Post # 41
Member
345 posts
Helper bee

We have separate accounts, but in practice, our finances are totally joint and our money is shared. I just haven’t opened a joint account because I can’t face the headache of updating all the direct debits, etc.

Post # 42
Member
1399 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2019 - USA

mrssouthernfairytale :  I agree with this. My husband and I share accounts and 100% of our finances bc we trust each other. If you can’t trust your spouse with money you probably should get some counseling. I hate that people have this conception that if you share your finances you can no longer have any personal financial freedom- we each have our own “fun money” we can spend without scrutiny, but the amount of money we each get to spend is mutually decided upon based on where we are at together as a team and what we can afford to spend. Ultimately it’s about being responsible to each other and factoring each other in your financial goals and decisions. That’s what gets you ahead in the long term with money as a couple. 

Post # 43
Member
971 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

missmollybee :  Exactly. 

And although we share finances in my marriage, I don’t think that’s the way you HAVE to do it but no matter how you handle money when you’re married it should be based on communication, cooperation, and trust.

Money is one of the number 1 causes of divorce because it’s a huge stressor when the couple isn’t on the same page. And even if you keep things separate, your spouse can do things behind your back to screw you over financially. 

Post # 44
Member
209 posts
Helper bee

We are only engaged right now so we have kept our bank accounts separate. Once we get married, we will get a joint bank account and have both our paychecks deposited in there and all expenses pulled from there. When it comes to buying stuff even now, we always talk about it and make a decision together (even though our money is currently ‘separate’) because we know in December all of it will be combined.

Post # 45
Member
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

both separate and joint.

We put in money to the joint account proportional to our income, but it’s mainly used for the child related expenses.

I am more of a saver than my husband so I save a larger amount of my paycheck, which can be used for emergencies, retirement fund, retirement house, bigger vacations, which of course will benefit both of us.

For me we don’t do all joint because I don’t want to get anxiety/stress seeing every little purchase my husband makes. It’s my personal problem, so for us this is the best arrangement. This works for us!

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