(Closed) marked by materialism

posted 5 years ago in Rings
  • poll: would you ask for a replacment ring if your ring wasn't what you expected or didnt cost that much
    yes because i wanted a particular cut or style : (83 votes)
    29 %
    no because cost doesnt matter to me, love does : (168 votes)
    59 %
    yes because i dont want everyone thinking he is cheap : (8 votes)
    3 %
    no, i cant believe he even proposed in the first place : (25 votes)
    9 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1685 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    We kept a price cap on the engagement ring.  My thought was, “I’d rather have a nicer house than a larger diamond!”

    Post # 4
    Member
    2840 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    @soontobeGray:  I would have accepted, and loved, any ring that my now Darling Husband would have given me.  And I mean that honestly. I was prepared for that actually.  But he did ask for my input and in a way I’m glad because I really love my ring.

    ETA: We picked out a couple different settings that I liked (he happened to honestly like them, too). I also decided on emerald cut.  But he went back on his own to a few different stores to see if he liked any other settings better than the one we had both favored, and he didn’t find one.  So he got the favored setting and picked the diamond and size (using my preferred cut).  I know nothing of the final cost of the ring or the carat amount.  I’m happy that way.  I don’t need all the details.

    Post # 5
    Member
    17 posts
    Newbee

    @soontobeGray:  I couldn’t agree more!!! Any ring is perfect as long as it is given with love.

    When reading all these posts about size and price I was also wondering what’s more important, the man or the ring. When a man really loves you he just knows what you will like and pick that ring (based on what he can afford!)

    Another thing: what about upgrading? Is there no sentimental value to the ring he proposed with?

    I see you are from the UK and that makes the difference:):):)

    Also: diamonds are way cheaper in the US compared to Europe so people tend to get “more value” for their $$.

     

    Post # 6
    Member
    799 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Thats good for you. Do you want a cookie since you feel that you are much less “materialistic” than other brides? An award?

    Post # 7
    Member
    983 posts
    Busy bee

    my SO is going by the C’s of a diamond….ugh….I don’ t want him to spend a fortune. But i told him if he does buy a diamond, i just want an emerald cut….he can do the rest.

    Post # 8
    Member
    7416 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Different strokes for different folks. I couldn’t care less if others want a certain cut, price point, diamond/non-diamond/stimulant or whatever other qualifier. Its the between the couple, I’m not losing sleep about it. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    5011 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I don’t often see complaints about cost, but the idea of asking for an upgrade shocked me at first. I think it’s just a very different jewellery culture than in the UK.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1292 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    I was actually a little put off that my fiance spent SO much on the ring. As time went on I became thrilled with my diamond but at the time I definitely was like “…we could’ve spent that money on a car!”  I never, not in a million years thought I would have a ring that cost as much as it did. I would’ve been happy with one that cost half the price.

    My fiance and I picked out the band together and he picked out the center stone on his own, which is what kicked up the price.

    Post # 11
    Member
    277 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @soontobeGray:  I feel exactly the same!

    My fiance picked my ring without any input from me (actually I think we had maybe one casual conversation about princess vs round cuts ages ago, but we never seriously discussed it).  He picked a ring that is more beautiful than what I would have ever imagined.  He said he’d been looking around for a while and when he saw this one, he just knew it was it.  I love what my ring represents 🙂

    Post # 12
    Member
    3553 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    My stone (green sapphire) wasn’t the expensive part of my ring, it was the setting and I’m pretty sure that  a large chunk of the price tag is because it was designer. I wish the setting had been cheaper, but we both loved it and I really really tried to find something I liked better that was cheaper, and I couldn’t. It wasn’t more than we could afford, but I would have been happier if it had cost less.

    Post # 13
    Hostess
    1427 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Darling Husband wouldn’t let me know the cost of the ring; so no I’m not bothered by it. I did have input in that I wanted a specific cut and setting type.

    Post # 14
    Member
    983 posts
    Busy bee

    I just asked my SO not to get me a pear shape…that’s what my exDH got me. So you can see my reasoning behind that.  I tried to get him to go the more cheaper non traditional direction, but he won’t go for it. Even tried the “Hey, forget about e-ring, let’s get bands and elope”…nah, he won’t go for that either.  He wants things done the proper way since this is his first marriage, my second. I need to respect what he wants to do.

    Post # 16
    Member
    3625 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I’ll be honest and I can say that when we were picking out my ring together, it was important that for anyone that saw mine that they didn’t think he was cheap. We weren’t so extravagant as to buy from Cartier/T&Co/HW, but it was very important to him that we picked a very nice ring because he feels it does reflect upon him as a person. So while mine may have cost more than some of our friends’ rings (though certainly not the priciest, biggest in our area), he was just as concerned with the look of it as I was. Darling Husband also works in a profession where people are apt to judge based on appearances/material possessions.

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