So much advice to give! Where to start?
Sex – keep it up! Lots of men complain sex drops off after marriage. Except when I had the baby, we’ve had sex at least a few times a week. It’s an important way to communicate your love. Make time for each other – don’t let everything (kids, work, chores) come before your relationship.
Make sure you have similar financial goals. If he’s a big spender, always living on credit, and you save every penny and would never use a credit card, then you’ll always be arguing. My Darling Husband and I are very different politically – but at least financially we agree 100% (we both would never use credit and never go into debt).
Men tend to approach issues differently than women. I used to come home and complain about work or traffic, and my husband would get frustrated with me. I couldn’t figure out why. One day after venting, and him getting all upset, I asked what was wrong. He said ‘you come to me with all these problems but I can’t help you solve them.’ It was then I realized men will talk about a problem if they want help solving it, but women talk just to vent feelings. So I learned to say ‘it’s ok – I don’t need your help. I’m just complaining to vent.’ It helped us understand each other a lot better.
Tell him you appreciate it when he does things for you. This morning my hubby got up before me, ground fresh coffee beans, and had hot coffee ready when I got up. I gave him a hug and told him I appreciated it. I really do appreciate having hot coffee ready when I come downstairs – I want him to know his efforts are noticed
Never go to bed angry. Always give him a hug and kiss goodbye when he leaves – you never know if this will be the last time you get the chance (my dad died at age 43 – so I’m always very aware that death isn’t just for the elderly – sorry if that’s too morbid!)
For that reason I never let him work over 40 hours a week. We have a friend who works 80+ hours a week, and wants to retire at 55. He might not make it to 55 the way he’s so stressed out. He’s never home, his wife and daughters don’t know him – they go on family vacations without him. He works like crazy to pay for a million dollar home he rarely sees. By the time he retires his wife and kids will barely know who he is. We don’t have the million dollar house, but we see my Darling Husband at least a few hours each day – and that’s priceless
We got married at age 22 – both in university – and not a penny between us. We’ve been through a lot of highs and lows together (including me nearly dying 15 years ago). We’ve been married almost 26 years – and I love him more every day