Post # 1
My husband & I have been married for 1.5 years AND we are converting to Roman Catholicism. When we enter the church we are not required to “get married again” but since we were married outside the catholic church (we got married though a non-denominational church) we would like to have a sacremental ceremony & recieve the church’s blessing on our marriage. This ceremony can be as much or as little as an actual wedding ceremony as we want. I really want to have it as close to the marriage ceremony as possible, white dress, dinner, dancing etc. for a few different reasons I won’t discuss at length. It would be a small affair, we probably won’t send out inviations, But I’m still wondering how that’s going to be percieved by our friends & family…seeing as how we just got married a year and a half ago? I don’t want to seem ungrateful for everything people did for us when we originally got married. We absolutley aren’t registering for gifts nor will we be accepting any. I guess we both see this as something great that we’ve been working towards and we want to celebrate with a big party. But I don’t want people in the back of their heads thinking “aren’t they already married?” & “why are they doing this again?” Most of my husbands family & friends are protestant. I know I can’t expect everyone to understand the spiritual transformation my husband & I have been going through (through taking the rite of catholic initiation for adults, rcia) but I don’t want for things to be weird. I don’t suppose anyone has ever been in this situation before, or know anyone who’s been in a similar situation? Would you be irritated if you were asked to attend 2 weddings for the same couple in a 2-3 year span?
whew! that was a mouthful! I needed to get that off my chest! any advice would be appreciated!
Post # 3
- Wedding: April 2012 - St. Philip Catholic Church/Arcadia Brewing Co.
As a lifelong Catholic, I think the Catholic sacrament in totally different (well not totally but fairly different) from marriage anywhere else. Not that it is more valid, but it is a whole different process. It is a sacrament, like first communion, baptism, or reconciliation. As such I think it deserves its own recognition.
I know lots of people who throw receptions after a baptism or first communion, so I don’t see how this would be that different. Especially since you are not asking for gifts, and keeping it small, I don’t think it should be an issue at all.
On top of all that people renew their vows all the time!
I say go for it!
Post # 4
If I were planning this for myself I would want it to be a very small, intimate ceremony full of those who supported our spiritual decision and understood where we’ve been and are now in our siritual walk. I wouldn’t really want to do the formal dinner/dance reception thing b/c that has already been done but I could see you and your husband taking those people who attended out for dinner afterward or hosting a dinner at your house. If I were a guest invited to something like this for someone whose wedding I attened a year or so ago I would be happy for their spiritual journey and cumulation in the blessing but I would expect it to be a low-key event full of spirituality and blessing and support from those who love and support you two but not a big party. Just my 2 cents. Congratulations on your spiritual transformation 🙂
Post # 5
@morgan_ruth11: Is it possible to keep it small, as in only close family and friends? It’s a lot easier to explain to the people closets to you about what you want to achieve and why you’re doing it.
Post # 6
Thank you all for your replies. I am going to continue to plan to keep it small and focus on the meaning of the ceremony itself. I can’t say thank you enough for your advice. Sometimes you just need a second opinion, to see if your not crazy for feeling this way!
Post # 7
In my opinion, if you already did the wedding ceremony and reception with friends and family, it wouldn’t be proper to celebrate the sacramental marriage ceremony in the big white wedding manner. I think a pretty (possibly white) dress or dress suit from the department store followed by a nice dinner and drinks with your close family and perhaps a few close friends is the best way to celebrate. Hope you enjoy your journey into the church and congratulations on your upcoming sacramental marriage celebration! 🙂
Post # 8
In my Christian opinion, you already got married under God’s eyes. I don’t know about another wedding ceremony… but I like Singasong’s view & suggestion.
Post # 9
I think it could be rather offensive to the non-Catholics there (if they feel like you’re saying, “we weren’t married before,” then they’ll wonder what you think about their marriages. Even though I don’t think that’s what you’re saying, I think it might come across that way if you are celebrating the *marriage* aspect too much.)
I think it would be nice to just have a low key “entering the Church” little celebration, but without the marriage emphasis.
Post # 10
Congratulations and welcome to the Church! :] I agree with PP that if you’ve just had a wedding (big white dress, reception, the whole shebang) you’ll get funny looks for wanting to do it all again. Like joy2011 said, I would shift the focus to celebrating your coming into the Church. You can probably get away with wearing a white dress (but i wouldn’t go for an elaborate ballgown or anything) and have refreshments afterwards, maybe host a dinner at a local restaurant, but i would avoid calling it a wedding and keep the focus on receiving the sacrament.
Post # 11
@elliestan: Well, we actually didn’t have a big wedding because my husband is in the army, and we were under time constraints- that is one of the unmentioned reasons I was hinting at above as to why I was considering having a bigger ( but not “big” by any means) ceremony. But after some more reflection I’m going to continue to plan small. I think we’ll have a reception, with just our closest friends, at a restaurant and I’ll wear a blush pink dress.