(Closed) Marriage conversation starters

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1417 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Kat_Kit2000:  Ohh yay. For me I started it “where do YOU want to be in x years” then I said ” Well I want US to be ..blah blah blah”

   P.s dont make it feel like your drilling him..make it your normal relaxed chat but with a twist haha good luck

Post # 4
Member
4663 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

after 3 years i think you could bring it up straight up. i mean, 3 years is a long time and hopefully you’ve had some talk about where you are going in life.

i would ask him straight – do you see yourself ever getting married?

Post # 5
Member
999 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

eewww that’s tough. Just casually talk about it without drilling him.

Post # 6
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Hmm. Maybe if you steer the topic onto the subject of you guys or your friends’ wedding or what have you, you can just smile at him, take a relaxed, deep breath and say, “You know, for the past three years you’ve made me so happy, and I think it’s only right that you know that this is something I want in my life for good. I’m ready for that. You’re my best friend and we share everything with each other. So tell me, how do you feel about us?” Then you smile big and ask him to tell you what he thinks.

Or just tell him straight, “I know we’ve joked in the past, but I hope you know that I care about you so much that I am ready to take the next step, whenever that may be,” and hopefully these will open up a proper, honest conversation. And there is nothing wrong with a long engagement, plus always alternatives for affordable engagement rings (I’m a moissanite girl myself so of course I would say that).

Like another Bee said on your other thread, don’t worry about trying to protect yourself from exposing feelings that might not be reciprocated. If he truly loves you, believe me this will not scare him off. And if it does, well, then you’ll know, but that’s a good thing.

I wish you luck!

Post # 7
Member
999 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

keep us posted, good luck!

Post # 8
Member
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t have any advice on how to bring it up, but I’d just keep in mind that this is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with!! You should definitely feel comfortable having this discussion with him. You have already been together a good amount of time, and you both deserve to know where this is going. Maybe just phrase it in a practical way – you want to make sure you’re on the same page. Good luck!

Post # 9
Member
1830 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

When I brought it up to SO, were were just sitting in the living room on our computers and I was like “So, are you ever gonna marry me?” And we went from there.

Post # 10
Member
4693 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@pharmy:   This is pretty much exactly how we started “the talk” as well!

Post # 11
Member
1830 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@MissBoPeep:  lol. I’ve always been the direct type. He looked up, blinked a few times and said “…yes. So I guess we’re talking about this now?” “Yep.” “Okay.”

Post # 12
Member
2856 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’d just bring it straight up. I did that with Fiance. We were sitting in the car at our “lookout” spot just talking, about 10 months in, and I just straight-up said to him “Look. I’m not saying I want to do it right now, or a year from now, or even 3 years from now, so there’s no pressure at all. BUT, at some point in my life, when the time is right, I want to be married. I also want children. If you feel that somewhere down that line that you WON’T want to marry me, or have children with me, you need to tell me now.”

He replied that YES he wants to get married at some point, YES he wants children at some point, and YES he sees that life with me included in it. He then went out and bought me a “promise” ring.
And that was it. It didn’t come up again until the day he sold his spare sports car 6 months later and told me he did it so he could buy me a ring.
2 months after that he proposed.

You just need to be straight-up and honest with him. Let him know there’s no rush, but you need to know if it’s in the cards AT SOME POINT. For me, that was enough.

Post # 14
Member
387 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Kat_Kit2000:  Wow – good on you for not mentioning it already! We started talking about it on our first date! Not about us getting married to one another, just our views, values etc.

I think about 5 months into our relationship was when we started talking about it 🙂

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