(Closed) Marriage counseling before the I do’s?

posted 8 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 3
Member
2767 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

yes, if you have any doubts, do it.  it could only help you two.  you’ll learn ways to communicate more effectively.

Post # 4
Member
3344 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

We did two sessions as part of the requirements from our church.  Honestly, we didn’t get a whole lot out of it.  We’ve never been to therapy or any other sort of counseling and had a hard time sharing.  We got waaaay more out of the Engaged Encounter weekend and paid almost the same.

Post # 5
Member
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Our minister requires at least 5 sessions with him prior to the wedding to talk about what God says about marriage and it is considered pre-marital counseling.  We started at the beginning of June and our wedding isn’t until October, but we have decided to see him every other week because we love it so much.  It is really helpful.  We started going to church together about a year and a half ago (We’ve been together almost 6 years and have 2 kids), and after we began centering our lives around Christ and going to church, we haven’t been arguing at all, we have the most peaceful relationship compared to what it used to be.  Even with that, we love the meetings with our minister.  We did this activity last week about personality types and it was really fun and we learned a lot about each other and how we deal with certain things.  There’s just so much you don’t think about when deciding to get married that can really open your eyes.

I say go for it, if you have to tell your fiance that it is required.  Hopefully it will help you.  Good luck!

Post # 6
Member
4547 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I say go for it as well!

Post # 7
Member
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Oh definately do it! ๐Ÿ™‚ My and my boy did some couples counseling before we got engaged (plus we plan on doing some marriage counseling before the wedding) and it REALLY helped our relationship – sometimes you just need neutral person to referee. Also, I hear it lowers the price of your marriage certificate :3

Post # 8
Member
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Fiance and I are doing it; I’m all for it!  We had a couple issues that were pressing, but mostly it was a good way to deepen our connection.  Our communication skills are still developing but the counseling really is helping.  I think we’re about ready to “graduate” but we’ll still plan on going in every 6-12 months for tune-ups ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 9
Member
22 posts
Newbee

i’m a lot like you…

been together 2 years, we have a baby but he’s hesitant about a ring..

 

but i’ve been told that we should consider counseling, and i’m up for it but he won’t go…

if you can get your guy to go.. the GO!!

nothing negative could come out of it!

Post # 10
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Go for it!

A year ago my then boyfriend had been overseas for 2 months, and had tentativly asked me to marry him. When he got home, we started fighting and he pushed back the official engagement…which caused more fighting…. ๐Ÿ™

I was starting to wonder if we were making the right choices, if we were getting married just to be married, and a million other thoughts of doubt.

So after a year of us drifting further apart, I sought outside advice. I met a counsellor by myself, and I spilled about everything that was bugging me…EVERYTHING. And after a lot of tears, I felt so much better, just being able to get it all out. I have continued to see her once a week, and have brought home relationship things for us to do as a couple, and they work! Turns out boyfriend was just as frustrated as I was, and we were able to clear so much up.

I definitly recommend seeing someone, getting some counselling, and just hearing another opinion if you are ready to listen. It has saved my relationship and now we are happily engaged, and right back in love like we used to be, planning out the rest of ouor happily-ever-after ๐Ÿ™‚

Good luck!

Post # 11
Member
689 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

We haven’t started our’s yet but we will soon. I think it’s extremely important.

Post # 12
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

My Fiance and I are going to do it at the request of his mother (but I think it was a good suggestion).

He and I have been together 6.5 yrs, living together for 3 and just recently got engaged over labor day. Our relationship is wonderful and solid, but I think it’ll be good to have someone ask the “tough questions” before we get married.

Post # 13
Member
759 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

i reccomend it. whether fighing or not. you really learn a lot about eachother and learn your “problems” before they become problems so you can fix it!

Post # 14
Member
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Fiance and I went to a course for couples who are about to marry or move in together. There were 5 other couples, and i found it really useful. Lots about communication skills, and some information on different types and styles of relationships, so you become more self-aware about your own relationship and your role in it.

If you have a specific issue you would like to bring up, I think individual sessions would be better, but if you are after general information in a non-confronting situation, a group course is great.

Post # 15
Member
2083 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Definitely you should do it! In order to be married in the church we had to go through some pre-marital counseling sessions and at first I was dreading it, but it actually was a great experience.

Post # 16
Member
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

We have to do counseling through our church with other married couples. (required)  We also have to attend a Engagement Get-away through the church.  My Dad is a very no frills non-emotional kind of guy, and he commented that the sessions do tend to help.  Therefore, I trust my Dad, and I hope it will be a good experience for both my fiance and I.

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