- 4 months ago
I’m not sure if this is the right website to post this on as I’m already married, but there’s some good relationship advice on this website and I hope to get some help.
My husband and I have been married 3 years, together 5. We met through work but don’t work together anymore. However, we are doing pretty much the same job at different firms, and unfortunately we are in very competitive field. We have tried to avoid “bringing work home” and succeeded for the majority of our time together. However, recently, partly due to pressure and partly because we both want to have successful careers and apply for the same roles for career progression, we are competing against each other as we both want to advance career wise.
Earlier on, our work helped us bond but it is now creating tension between us.
Recently, there’s been a rift between us because he hates it when I try to offer him advice regarding anything relating to work, and thinks I talk down to him or act as if I know better than him. His approach to how we share expenses has always been different to mine. I like to monitor and split expenses according to income. He tends to be a bit more relaxed but maybe this is because his income is a bit more than mine. He does pay more than I do even when we go out and I don’t always feel happy with this.
I have rambled quite a bit but I think what I’m trying to get to is that despite being married there is a lot of competition between us as we are in an ultra competitive field and are both are at the same stage career wise.
This has been a problem this past year more than ever before.
We are less open with each other. In recent months, I have found him confiding more in two other people. One is a guy (friend from childhood), so I don’t mind as much. But his other friend is a woman, who is a friend of his from high school but he seems closer to her now than he was previously.
Is it unreasonable that I feel unhappy that he meets her for coffee/drinks after work sometimes? This is not with a group of friends- just the two of them. I feel suspicious when he tells me he’ll be late at work. We had an argument over the weekend about this and he told me that I can come and check at his workplace if I really feel he’s lying to me.
Perhaps I’m thinking too much. However, I really do not like it that she regularly posts and interacts with him on social media and seems to know so much about his day to day life!
Apologies for the rant. I know that was not very well explained but it helped to get that off my chest.
Any advice would be great.